Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Maybe I am lost or maybe am I found? Part 2


     OK, I did get some response to my last blog entry. A few positive thumbs up and a few serious slaps. I did notice that the slaps tend to be from people who really do not care about me in general but are from people who are so set on their beliefs being right that somehow my questions threaten them to the point of really bad taste.
     I mean if the few who are appalled at my questions care so much for my soul then why the attempts to hurt and trigger me? Especially when they know my background? No kindness, no understanding or love, just condemnation and meanness. Figures... I have found that the people who are the least secure in their beliefs tend to be the ones who attack the hardest and have the least amount of compassion. They tend to be dogmatic in their so called beliefs and horrible to anyone outside of their little world. Shame on them. That has been the response I always tend to get from insecure Christians. Don't get me wrong I am not saying all Christians are that way...just the insecure ones who feel threatened by anyone who does not agree with them.
     And for the record I tend to not listen to anyone on the internet anymore. Haven't in a long time. Maybe a few short u-tubes but all in all I have been laying low on internet talk shows. I have been searching more within myself and one on one with the Creator for the answers I am seeking and everything else just seems to cause more static and confusion. I have found that when you look to people for answers you tend to get more of their view then anything else. I know a lot of them quote scriptures and I have had that all my life and it has lead me back to the same place of confusion. Besides I have noticed that most people can quote scriptures pretty well including me. I am not attacking the bible or Jesus in any case. I am not attacking anyone’s beliefs either. I am searching...and this is a personal search but one I think a lot of people out there share with me.
     I do wish sometimes I could just believe as easily as some people seem to be able to. Maybe it is my lack of faith or something. I don't know, but I am never satisfied with anything for long as I have to always keep on digging.
     There has just been too much crap in my life to take anything for granted or at face value. I have learned throughout my life that nothing is ever as it seems, even my life. I survived for some reason and I used to think it was to help others survive and maybe that is true but anymore I don't know. I want to give hope but I also do not want to give false hope. I do not want to pretend to have all the answers or be anything but who I am. My life is a work in progress and I for sure can not promise things will all work out in the end. I hope it will but I really don't know how this is all going to end.
     I still believe that there is a divine plan in all of this screwed up mess but I don't think that divine plan is what most of us have been taught that it is. I don't think we have a clue. I do believe that the plan is much larger and broader then we know and has nothing to do with what we have always been lead to believe.
     I think the Creator is much more then we have been lead to believe and that Jesus ministry was and is much more then we have been lead to believe. I do believe that one of the biggest deceptions on this planet is the limits we have been taught and programmed to believe about The Creator and Jesus...
     That is all for today...but stay tuned I am on a roll!!!

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