OK,
I did get some response to my last blog entry. A few positive thumbs
up and a few serious slaps. I did notice that the slaps tend to be
from people who really do not care about me in general but are from
people who are so set on their beliefs being right that somehow my
questions threaten them to the point of really bad taste.
I
mean if the few who are appalled at my questions care so much for my
soul then why the attempts to hurt and trigger me? Especially when
they know my background? No kindness, no understanding or love, just
condemnation and meanness. Figures... I have found that the people
who are the least secure in their beliefs tend to be the ones who
attack the hardest and have the least amount of compassion. They tend
to be dogmatic in their so called beliefs and horrible to anyone
outside of their little world. Shame on them. That has been the
response I always tend to get from insecure Christians. Don't get me
wrong I am not saying all Christians are that way...just the insecure
ones who feel threatened by anyone who does not agree with them.
And
for the record I tend to not listen to anyone on the internet
anymore. Haven't in a long time. Maybe a few short u-tubes but all in
all I have been laying low on internet talk shows. I have been
searching more within myself and one on one with the Creator for the
answers I am seeking and everything else just seems to cause more
static and confusion. I have found that when you look to people for
answers you tend to get more of their view then anything else. I know
a lot of them quote scriptures and I have had that all my life and it
has lead me back to the same place of confusion. Besides I have
noticed that most people can quote scriptures pretty well including
me. I am not attacking the bible or Jesus in any case. I am not
attacking anyone’s beliefs either. I am searching...and this is a
personal search but one I think a lot of people out there share with
me.
I
do wish sometimes I could just believe as easily as some people seem
to be able to. Maybe it is my lack of faith or something. I don't
know, but I am never satisfied with anything for long as I have to
always keep on digging.
There
has just been too much crap in my life to take anything for granted
or at face value. I have learned throughout my life that nothing is
ever as it seems, even my life. I survived for some reason and I used
to think it was to help others survive and maybe that is true but
anymore I don't know. I want to give hope but I also do not want to
give false hope. I do not want to pretend to have all the answers or
be anything but who I am. My life is a work in progress and I for
sure can not promise things will all work out in the end. I hope it
will but I really don't know how this is all going to end.
I
still believe that there is a divine plan in all of this screwed up
mess but I don't think that divine plan is what most of us have been
taught that it is. I don't think we have a clue. I do believe that
the plan is much larger and broader then we know and has nothing to
do with what we have always been lead to believe.
I
think the Creator is much more then we have been lead to believe and
that Jesus ministry was and is much more then we have been lead to
believe. I do believe that one of the biggest deceptions on this
planet is the limits we have been taught and programmed to believe
about The Creator and Jesus...
That
is all for today...but stay tuned I am on a roll!!!
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