Well hello again

Well hello and this is me again.

I have been fighting many battles on the home front just as I am sure many of your are.

I often wake up at night with amazing things coming out of my brain to write, but when I sit down to write it all seems to fly away.

What I will write about today however, is something weighing heavy on my mind.

The past  several months I have gotten the news that a lot of kids in their 30's that either grew up with my kids or are connected to them in a personal way are having serious medical issues.

Two have brain tumors..one a breast tumor, one a thyroid tumor,one is waiting a biopsy on her cervix. My oldest son just got diagnosed with cirrhosis of the Liver and he has never even drank. They are all relativity healthy adults, have families to raise and are decent people. Not druggies, drunks or  thugs. What is going on?

My heart is heavy with all this and I am angry that all these wonderful young people are dealing with such life and death issues.

I realize that there is no guarantees on this planet.
I am always saying that 'shit happens' no matter who you are or what you do or don't do. But this just breaks my heart. These are kids I love and have loved for many years. It would be a great loss on the planet if anyone of them passes on.

A few weeks ago I fell on my knees ( something that is not easy for me to do these days) and cried out to the Creator for mercy. I know that us humans are a mess at best, however, I also know that most of us are trying to do the best we can to survive a world that is hostile and polluted to the max. It is not only polluted environmentally , but spiritually as well.

I have tried my best to offer hope to the hurt and broken throughout the years.But I have to say I am running out of hope. I am tired...

Fighting the good fight just does not seem to go anywhere anymore.

I am having a very hard time wondering why a Creator who is suppose to love us lets this mess continue.
You can say it is because we have a free will but that really is not true at all.

We are born into slavery, mind controlled since birth. We are fed poison in all our food and water and every breath we take is full of chem-trails and poison as well.

There are entities all around us who hate us an beat us down with every move we make. We are told in the religious community that we have sin natures so are born to be bad...( Not sure I believe this one). and if we do not get things right we are condemned to a eternal hell and torment. But tell me who can possibly get anything right with so many odds against us?

I used to think I could do all things through Christ who strengthens me...but this does not even ring very true in my heart anymore.

The only thing I know is that with all that is left in me and through..I will continue to love and much as I can, care as much as I can and do as much as I can for whomever is put in front of me in need. That is all I have to offer.
Maybe that is what Jesus was telling us all along.
Love one another...
No promises that everything will be OK... but love is what overcomes. Love is what gives hope. Love is what keeps us keep-in on. 

Not religious bull shit... but love.

So until I take my last breath on this planet, my prayer is to be able love with all that is in me and all that I can. And when I die I pray that everyone who ever knew me, knew I loved them and loved them well.

Much love always,
Judy