Searching for Truth, Searching for faith

   
I have been needing to write for some time if for no other reason then to  work through some issues and clarify my thoughts.
What I have to say will be disturbing to most but something weighing very much on my spirit these days.

I have spent the better part of the past several years trying to make sense of my life while helping others deal with theirs. I
have not had a typical life by any means and the people I try and help are not typical either, at least I used to think that but
now I am not so sure. Maybe the horrors and pain that we have dealt with are much more prevalent then once thought? Just maybe
the cover-up and mind control programing has been so successful that the average person has no clue, because they have been
completely blinded and those blinders are mainly religion.

So what is religion? Is it man's attempt in trying to make sense of all the horror and pain in this world? Is religion the
biggest scam and mind control program on the planet? People do the most horrible things in the name of religion. Christianity
is one of the worst and one of the most destructive religions however, it is also the one in the most denial.

I guess I can pick on Christianity because I was a Christian most of my life and sat on the front lines of its programming and
pain. I went to many churches and many different denominations and found them all to be equally destructive and equally
damming and harsh. I was told that Christianity was about love, forgiveness and acceptance but I saw  very little of
any of that in any church. All of the most horrible abuse I endured as a child and beyond was hidden behind so called
 'Christian Ministries'.
All I have ever heard from  main line Christianity has been condemnation and self righteousness.
Every time there is a disaster it is because God is judging some sin in someone according to most Christian's. Either the people
are homosexual, heathen or deemed rebellious, in any case it is never just because 'shit happens' to us all on this planet, no
respecter of persons.

I have witnessed goodness and caring in many kinds of people not just Christian's. When I was going through some of my
darkest hours in my life it was usually a non- Christian who helped me though as the 'Christian's' were to busy judging me.
I am not saying that no Christian ever helped me because that is not true many have, but what I am saying is that kindness,
compassion and love comes in many colors, faiths and sexes. And yes I am including homosexuals.


I have heard all my life that everyone needs to get 'saved'. Saved from what? Hell? Death? Taxes? Each other? I have
witnessed many who were supposedly 'saved' and yet I never saw any difference in them or anyone else except maybe
at that point they felt better? At least until things did not go their way.
'Hey, ten people got saved in our church this week'
What does that mean? They excepted Jesus? Excepted Him for what, their Savior? OK, so now they are going heaven.
But then what? Oh, now we need to go out and save others and get them out of their false religions and sin. We are OK. We
can slander, condemn and judge because we are now a saved Christian. We can abuse children and cheat on our spouses, and cheat people  because we can ask forgiveness. After all we are just human, but forgiven, so that makes us special. But as Christians we have a responsibility to hang, homosexuals and judge other people who believe in different religions. and get
everyone else saved so they can be just like us. After all we are the only people who have the 'real' truth and religion,
everyone else is deceived and are sinners.

 Our God hates everyone but us, until they agree to become like us. Oh yeah I almost forgot... Anyone who apposes Christianity is the ANTICHRIST!

Since I was once a Christian now I am BACKSLIDDEN!
I am going to suffer even greater wrath and pain and damnation because I turned my back on Christianity!

Now I am not opposing Jesus and his ministry, or the Creator. I admit I have a very hard time with all this blood sacrifice
stuff...but then again remember I witnessed many blood sacrifices in my life and most were done by Christian ministers.
A lot of them ministers you all think are really great guys. Nothing is ever what it seems folks.

Also I have to say here that I have a lot of wonderful friends who use the term Christian. They really work hard at
 following Christ's objectives and most do not even go to a church. They have big hearts and compassion and I do not
think it is because they are Christian... I think it is because they are loving good people who happen to be Christian's.
 BIG difference!

So why am I spending so much time here blasting Christianity?

Well mostly because all I have seen is hate and division
coming out of mainline Christianity. I am angry because I can not find any mainline Christians who even want to deal with all of the crap coming out of the churches. The ones who are waking up are getting blasted pretty hard.

No mainline church wants to deal with sexual abuse, ritual abuse, child abuse, money scams, human sacrifice behind the scenes. The blood of innocent children runs neck deep behind the scenes in mainline Christianity and none of them what to DEAL WITH IT!!
And the ones who try and expose it are deemed WORKING FOR THE DEVIL!

I am pissed, I am mad, I am ANGRY!

Too be continued...