I have been trying to figure out what I wanted to write about for a while. It seems I am having a major case of writers block and that is the pits as I really miss writing on my blog.

I have also been wanting to put a book together with some of my drawings and such but that has been a very hard thing to get on with as well. I am hoping by the act of writing this tonight that maybe, it will force me out of my block and be a catalyst into maybe some brilliant insights. Yeah right! But I do like the sound of that in any case..HA!

Anyway I do need to say a huge thank you for all of you who have taken the time to e-mail me and send cards etc. of encouragement and support. That is itself has meant so much to this ole' gal. I was at a place where I just thought that maybe I was spinning my wheels and nothing I said or did was even making a difference in any life much less my own.

I have been getting a few e-mails wanting to know more about Oral Roberts University and what I experienced there and details about my abuse. I have to say have to say if you want to know then read my testimony. It is posted at my site...which is http://multijudysworld.mysite.com under the topic 'My Story'
and it is also here in the archives of this blog. I really do not want to hash all that out over and over again. I only told my story in the first place to help others validate their own memories and expose the horrible Satanism in the religious system and how it is all connected to the entertainment industry, government and just about everything else on this planet. I also wanted to give others hope that they can get out...they can overcome and they can have a life other then abuse. It is not easy but it can be done.
I did it though my faith and hope in the Creator, my Father in the Heavenly realms,and through my belief in His son Jesus Christ. I have always believed I belonged to the Creator, even before I knew about His son. And that knowing always gave me hope.

Do I understand why I had to go through so many horrible things? No. All I know is that it made me who I am today and because of what I experienced it made me a more compassionate, caring person. However with saying that I had to make the conscious choice that I did not want to be like the perpetrators who were in my life.

I can not begin to understand why our Creator has let so much evil take over this planet. I have heard a lot of opinions on that topic but none the less I figure I will know those answers when the time comes for me to know. Until then I am just trying to not let it take me down and keep on keep'in on and trusting there is a divine plan in action through all of this.

I am not here to bash religious figures or point fingers and judge. What I write about is my opinions and experiences. I do not try and make anyone believe me. If anyone chooses to think I am a liar ...oh well.

I have grown and changed a lot in the last several years since I have spoken out about my abuse growing up. Some of those changed have been quite painful... but all very much needed.

I do not take much to religion anymore..maybe that will change someday but for now I am more comfortable and much freer in my relationship with the Father by shedding all the religious baggage in my life. Does that mean you should do that? Heaven forbid!! Religion is not a bad thing in and of itself and a lot of people get so much comfort from religion and serve others in amazing ways through it.
As for me it has never worked or been a comfortable fit. I felt fake and miserable always living under the condemnation weight because I could not get it right. I hate rituals of any kind and I really do not like traditions much. None of those things really fit well on me... I often wish it did as I see people get so much comfort from all of that kind of thing, however, it never gives comfort to me. So why continue in with something that brings pain? I have had enough of that in my life. Since I have shed the religious baggage of my life I can finally breath and have a real honest relationship with my Creator for the first time in my life. But that is my walk...I am not advocating or trying to change anyone elses spiritual walk or religious beliefs.

I always stand amazed when I get a letter from a dear one telling me thank you for being so honest. I guess I will never get over the wonderment of being believed and validated myself. Such a healing balm for my soul. You few out there who love and support me no matter what mean more to me then anything I can say. I have never been so excepted and loved then by the few out there who have taken the time to let me into your lives and trusted me with your stories.

I have had a few of you give sacrificial gifts of love that I have never witnessed in my life. Total strangers who have touched this girls heart so profoundly with no motive other then to show love and compassion. You have given me back my hope...my hope and belief that there really are Lambs out there who have hearts and souls that are full of compassion and love.
You give me hope that the Creator will see the few true hearts of the Lambs and have mercy on this very broken down planet and race of broken humanity.

I think the Savior said it kind of like this...' if you want to see the Father and spend eternity in a better place, then love The Father with all your heart, mind and soul and Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'

LOVE.... that is the key!!!!

Love & Prayers Always,
Judy

P.S. Hey! I think I just broke through my writers block!!! : )