Do You ever wonder???

Do you ever wonder just what the hell is GOD thinking?

Lately I seem to be wondering that more then ever. Not only because of my own life but because of what I see going on in so many other lives.

I have to admit as of late my faith is rather shot and beat pretty low. I am even beginning to wonder if I have a mustard seed of faith left in me.

It is not like I want to go out and beat people down or become mean and evil. I genuinely love and care for people. My heart hurts and cries for their pain and losses. But it almost seems that all my prayers are falling on deaf ears. It is getting harder and harder to offer people hope that anything will change for them and GOD will even intervene in their behalf. I am seeing very few miracles these days... I mean serious life altering miracles.

When you see people who genuinely love the Lord and are really trying to serve him... lose their children, lose their homes, lose their health and see the enemy always coming up on the high receiving end.... well you get my drift...

I get a lot of platitudes...
GOD is testing us..
GOD has a plan and we will not know it until we reach the other side..
GOD is punishing us for doing something bad we do not know about..
If we belong to GOD then we need to expect the devil to hate us and our lives will suck...
If we give our lives to HIM then we have to prepare to lose everything and be glad in it...
He is trying to get us to praise HIM in everything...
Our real life is not here it is on the 'other' side..
If we hang in there we will get a mansion on the other side...
We are not of this world but of another...
Well Jesus did die for us sooo... we can not complain.
You must be doing something right as the devil is so mad...

Ok. so I think you all get where I am going with all of this..

As I see it this is all the same thing I have always heard in the churches and does any of it really help when a person is in pain and their life is in shambles?

When I was a child and being tortured, raped and abused along with many others... do you honestly think any of the above would have given me/us comfort?
Do you think a mother who has her children ripped from her arms and hauled off to GOD knows where will feel much better by the above?
Do you think people who are hurting by just having to live on the messed up planet really feel any better by the above?

SO what is really going on? Is there really any hope for us down here on planet earth? Is GOD really on sabbatical? Am I going to get struck by lightning for even thinking this stuff much less writing it out for all to see?

Am I feeling a bit like Job and wondering where the Creator of All is in this mess?

How can any of us get that hope back into our hearts to keep us keeping on? How can we pass that hope onto others? Is there really any hope left to pass on?

Is any religion just a way to cope and give hope so we can manage to survive on this planet?

I know, I know.... I need to keep counting my blessing as it could be worse... well duhhhhhh... you think I have not seen and lived in worse?
I have even had people tell me..'You just have no idea how bad it can be Judy' ????? Say What???!!!
Am I feeling sorry for myself... I don't know... I don't even think so..actually this all has been building for a long while and then the topper was when a sweet family was torn apart by the state with no end in sight. Now how can that glorify GOD?
How can so much pain glorify HIM?
Because we praise HIM anyway even when nothing changes for the good and the enemies keeps winning? That is like saying..
GOD you are so good to help me not kill myself even though you are allowing my life to be destroyed so I can have a wonderful next life... I am so grateful for the blessing of pain....what a great Father you are to allow so much pain in my life to make me so worthy for the next life...????

OK so What if....

This is for you people in pain out there...
If GOD is our Father and Creator.. then why would HE want us in pain? Why would HE create us to have life and then tell us not to enjoy it, not to want to live it and to remember this is not a real life because life only begins at death? Why would HE go to all the trouble to create something and then tell that something to not expect anything special until the next life.
Is that not what the Muslims believe? Hummm....not much different the Christians.
Why would HE tell us we can not earn our way to anywhere but then tell us we have to earn it? You know count ourselves worthy by trials and counting the cost of being HIS...
Do any of you do that to your children???
Would you ignore your kids in pain? Would you pat them on the head and tell them to praise you for loving them so much you are not going to help them...because you want to make them stronger and you want them to have a better afterlife???

OK, so what am I missing? What an I not getting?

I want that GOD who brings water from rocks and manna from heaven. I want that GOD who tells me I can walk on water and I do and who will part the Red Sea for me.... I want the GOD who will give me a pillar of fire by night to keep me warm and a cool cloud to keep me cool by day. I want a GOD who will stand up to my enemies and tell them where to get off and because HE is all powerful, they will be defeated!!!
I want that big huge awesome dude who can do all things!
I want the GOD who gave me this life to live and He gave it for me to live abundantly!!

I do not want that other god who is weak and on sabbatical all the time and who only gives me platitudes not action!!!

OK GOD..... WHERE ARE YOU??????
I am calling!!!!!!!!!!!!

RINGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

We need some serious ACTION down here!!!