I am one big question to myself. I really have no clue why I am still writing on this blog. I guess just the process of writing and knowing someone out there is going to read it is enough to ease whatever is pulling inside of me.
I feel so restless and unsettled inside. I sure wish I could run away from me for awhile.
I lie awake at night and my mind goes over and over all the things I wish I had done or might have done different. But then I remember that was then and this is now. No going back to change things. I can not even seem to change things around me now.
I walk into a room and wonder if it is me there or an illusion of my mind. I can feel pain but it always feels borrowed. Who is this Judy I live with? Is it really me or another illusion of my mind.
My life is here but I feel as if it has passed me by without even a nod. Sometimes I really wonder if anything has been worth it.
Maybe if I start running I will run into me and figure it all out. That is if I even exist.
Come on Celeste, help me out ol' girl...
As the famous words of Jackson Brown puts it,
Running on empty
Running blind
Running on empty
I am running behind....
1 comment:
I envy Joan...she is out of here!! But I am running into the sun for sure these days. I feel all burned up. But thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes a few words here and there is what keeps me taking one more step.
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