With so many changes there have also been a lot of adjustments but so far I am hanging in there.
My body is very cranky trying to get used to using muscles it forgot it had, my mind is trying to get used to always thinking ahead and not wasting any steps or resources. My spirit is sore from having to give up yet again any hope of reuniting with my children.
I can get used to hauling water and using an outhouse. I can get used to washing everything by hand and living in such a small area. I can get used to not having an income and doing without a lot of useless things. All those things are not really such a big deal however; knowing I have lost my children and grandchildren for the rest of my life on this planet is a hard one to deal with. My hope and prayers are that they will get right with their Maker, forgive and I will see them on the other side. None of my kids have a clue about what is happening on this planet. They believe they have all the time in the world to get things right in their lives. They are all caught up in the things of this world. They love this world. They do not see into the spiritual and are blind. They believe religion will save them when the chips are down or they believe they actually have control enough of their lives to save themselves.
As I was praying the other night I kept crying for my kids. I have been dreaming about them a lot as well. I felt in my spirit that now was my time to grieve but that time was almost over as the Father has too much for me to do and very soon I will be too busy to grieve. You know in Ecclesiastics it talks about there being a time for everything under heaven. Well this is my time to mourn the loss of my children but that is about to end.
My body is being prepared and strengthened for the days ahead. My spirit is being prepared as well. I think my whole life has been in preparation for what is soon to unfold.
I have tried to warn my family but they just think I am a nut. They cannot see the forest for the trees, but is that not most of the people on this planet? Everything that is truth is hidden in plain sight but most are too blind to see. They are more interested in entertainment, nice homes and cars, shopping and success as the world deems it. Sacrifice, forgiveness, responsibility for their actions, caring for others more than themselves is foreign and all labeled under their religion. I hear so many say they are Christians and yet have no clue who or what Christ was and is about. I am not saying I have all the answers but one thing I do know. When you follow Him you lose it all, however, you gain everything. It does not mean I do not hurt or get angry but it does mean that I know deep down inside there just is no other way and nothing is more important than going the course He has set for my life even if it means losing my family. My children cannot fulfill my destiny and they are not worth being separated from my Lord and what He has been preparing me for all my life. I really do not think my kids even have a clue why they resent me so much. They think they know, but they do not understand that they are being used. The enemy knows they have always been my weakness and if he can get at me and destroy me using them he will try. But what he does not know is that even separating me from my children can not force me to deny and walk away for my calling and commitment to my Creator.
I have lost homes and stuff, friends and family but I cannot be separated from the Love of my God. I can be called a lot of things but I know in my heart I am going the course He has set for me. He will never leave me or forsake me. I shall trust in HIM!!! This life is but a vapor in time and my vapor here is almost over. By His strength I will go the course He has set for me and hopefully hear the words "job well done my daughter"when I meet Him face to face.
Hold on my brother's and sister's.... go the course set out for you. This vapor in time is almost over.
Love & Prayers,
Judy
4 comments:
My precious sister! Our Father has given you strength. Hallelujah! I was just thinking about you, and decided to check your blog for a possible update, and there you were! Judy, I love you!!!
Psalm 84 "How amiable are thy tabernacles, O LORD of hosts! My soul longeth, yea, even fainteth for the courts of the LORD: my heart and my flesh crieth out for the living God. Yea, the sparrow hath found an house, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, even thine altars, O LORD of hosts, my King, and my God. Blessed are they that dwell in thy house: they will be still praising thee, Selah. Blessed is the man whose strength is in thee, in whose heart are the ways of them. Who passing through the valley of Baca make it a well; the rain also filleth the pools. They go from strength to strength, every one of them in Zion appeareth before God. O LORD God of hosts , hear my prayer; give ear, O God of Jacob. Selah. Behold, O God our shield, and look upon the face of thine anointed. For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness. For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. O LORD of hosts, blessed is the man that trusteth in thee."
I am sending you tons of love, Judy! :)
Sis,
So good to hear from you! I am with you in Spirit! Prayers for you Dear Sister in Jesus!
Deb
Hi Judy, It is good to hear how things are going for you. I opened my bible after reading your post the other day... I think it was the day you posted, but no matter... and for some reason I had my bookmarks here. I didnt put them at this place on purpose ot was random, at least I thought it was. I think it relates to what you are sharing. Jeremiah 8: 4 - 9:25 or however far you want to read it. Please know you are not alone in what you feel or believe. I love you. Denise
Amen!
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