Well I have been forced to take a rest... because I have been sick. Icky, yucky sick.
Yeah I did all the right things.. took my supplements, herbs and teas etc... but none the less this has been a hard fight to get well.
Do you all believe in the chem-trail phenomena? Well if you do then I have to say I think that is what got me this time. I was outside working in the yard all weekend under fake clouded skies watching that junk pour out of planes right before I got sick. My husband got sick as well and several others in our area with the same yucky thing. All respiratory related... sore throat etc. My daughters allergies ramped up and my grandsons ears started giving him heck.
I am having a very hard time not believing all that junk in the sky did not have something to do with how sick I have been.
I have not been able to go to work or sit with Hospice patients for over a week... what a bummer!!!
But I am on the mend! Still sound like a frog and hacking like I have a 3 pack a day smoking habit (no I do not smoke!) but I am on the mend none the less.
So I was forced into a rest..however it was not at all very restful. But it did give me pause for thought during this forced down time.
In the worst of my illness when in the dark of the wee hours of the morning... I found myself sitting in a chair trying to breath and maybe snooze a little, however; snoozing did not happen and coughing was ripping at my chest and throat and my body felt as if all my bones had been broken, all the while I was praying... "GOD please either heal me or take me out of here!!!" I do not do sick very well at all!!! I am a whiny baby and I have no tolerance for feeling bad.
I have spent way too much time on this planet in pain...fighting to live and fighting to survive..so when I get sick I get angry and whiny. I hate to admit that but it is the truth.
Lately I have found myself getting mad at God a lot... always asking 'Why?' Why all the challenges? Why do I have to fight all the time? Why is my life always going from one challenge to another without a break?
I hear myself crying out to my God in pain and frustration and often in anger and disappointment.
GOD can I not at least have one thing go easy for me? I am trying to serve you... I am trying...
So I gripe and I whine and I rant and when I am through all I have left to say is... 'Father I do not know how not to believe in you. I do not know how to give up. I do not know how to quit believing that you have a plan for my life and this whole crazy planet. I do not know how to not keep loving you and trusting you even when I do not feel you and even when I do not understand.'
So that is my word for today...
In spite of everything... I do not know how to not believe... Thank the Lord He put that kind of faith inside of me... what a gift! And to think He loves me in spite of all my complaints and frustrations.
Guess what? He loves you too!
3 comments:
Yeah, despite my weakness, He hasn't given up on me nor allowed me to give up on Him. I do have confidence that as things get worse in the world, we'll get stronger and more joyous.
Once I was working outside under heavily sprayed skies and had to go inside for fresh air! The chemtrails are just another way the world tries to discourage His children.
God bless you and yours.
oh gosh sis, i hope you are feeling better..
the people in the UK have been reporting that since the planes were grounded they've been enjoying fresher air, pretty skies and birds singing louder etc..
maybe what we need is a volcano here on this continent :)
love ya
makes one wonder just what they are spraying in our air????
Judy
Post a Comment