MultiJudy's World

Learning to be quiet

2012-01-22T18:33:00.000-06:00

Here I am again in another place where the Father can teach me some new things to help me grow up.
This round it is learning to be quiet and listen, not just to Him, but all around.
I am learning to choose my battles wisely and get off the defense. It is not that we are not to defend and stand up for what is right when that is called for, no this is something quite different.
What I am talking about is always being on the defense about my views, my right to be right or just to have the last word.

I have always had a problem with becoming defensive when someone said something I did not agree with or when I felt a personal slight. In a nut shell I guess you can say I had the proverbial chip on my shoulder on occasions. Can you believe that! : )

In any case I am learning how to shut up! What a concept! But you know something? Less can really be more and in the world of words sometimes the less you say the bigger the statement. I am learning that sometimes talking can just be noise and when our own voices crowds out others it usually is noise.

Now I am not saying I have achieved this 100% however; I am starting to see a huge improvement in me and I am also starting to see into the hearts and minds of others in a much clearer way. It is not to judge them but to judge me. A barometer I guess I should say into why some words upset me and trigger responses and other word fly right over me. I am starting to see a lot about how I think and believe and why. I am starting to become accountable for my own words and actions in a much sharper way. I am starting to understand how our words can really hurt and destroy people or help, encourage and heal them.

Words are not just words.... words have power to hurt or heal. And listening is a skill we all need to cultivate.

So that is all I have to say for now.

Love & prayers,
Judy

I dedicate this to my Dear Brothers and Sisters!!!

2011-12-29T13:16:00.001-06:00

I would like to dedicate this last posting for the year 2011 to all of those out there who are true people of the faith. I would also like to say a special thanks to those brothers and sisters who really follow the call to the best of their ability, strength and resources. I would also like to tell everyone about a few of them because they represent us all.

My first dedication is to a sister who is forever quick to listen, pray, give and encourage. She has a few physical difficulties but she is always ready to lend a hand, be it cleaning a house, putting in a garden or rescuing wayward cats and dogs. She is amazing I love her a lot and she has been one of my dearest friends for many years.

Next is a brother who has many physical challenges. He too is always ready to give, ready to pray and ready to encourage. He has even been known to put blankets on the street people who have no homes or beds. Most times he is in such pain all he can do is lie down and pray, but he does what he can. He has been one of my dearest friends for many years and I love him a lot.

Next is a sister who went on to be with the Lord a few months back. She finished the race and no doubt she was welcomed in the Father’s arms with a resound “Job Well done my daughter.” I miss her very much. She was always quick to listen, quick to pray and quick to encourage. She was my dear friend for many years and I loved her a lot.

Next is a dear sister who has always known when to send me a card of encouragement in the mail. It is like she has a radar for knowing when I need a lift. She spends much time in prayer not only for me but many others. She gives when she can financially but mostly she gives her heart. She has been my dear sister for many years and I love her a lot.

I have another brother who deals physically with a lot of pain. He has spent the last few years tending to aging parents and making their last days as comfortable as possible. He recently lost his mom and is now alone as his dad passed a few years back. I have known him many years and he has always been faithful to pray for me, encourage me and has even sent a few special gifts that I have cherished, as they came from his heart. He has been one of my dearest friends for years and I love him a lot.

I have a brother who ministers to people in jail. He prays and encourages and is so very talented. He is an artist on canvas and in the garden. He spreads beauty where ever he goes. He has been my dear brother for years and I love him a lot.

I have a sister who creates beautiful quilts and sends them all over to bless people and encourage them to go one more day and to let them know how special they are to GOD. She puts her prayers and love in every stitch and expects nothing in return. Her joy is in the creating and giving. I have not known her as long as the rest but she is my dear sister and I love her a lot.

I have another wonderful sister who lives across the world from me. She too always knows when I need an encouraging word or when I have a special need. She is quick to respond, to give and to pray. I have not known her long either but she is my dear sister and I love her a lot.

I have one sister who sent me cookies when I was down and many more who sent me cards and emails. I have other brothers who have sent me cards and emails and have blessed me with the prayers, friendship and helped me financially when they could and I love them all a lot.

I have an adopted mom who has blessed me many times with herbs and such to get me well. She has sent books to renew my spirit and offered many prayers in my behalf. She is also my sister and I love her a lot.

I have a brother and sister who took a chance on me and let me tell my story on the airwaves. They always encouraged me, prayed for me and believed in me. They sent me cards and helped me financially at times when I needed it. They are my brother and sister and I love them dearly.

There are many more, so many more I cannot even begin to write them all down, but the few things we all have in common? We have never met in person, we all love the Lord and we all are in this together. It does not matter if we are rich, poor, fat, skinny, sick, white, black, red or green. It does not matter if we have been in jail or if we have been anywhere at all. It does not matter if we are having a good day or bad or if we just want to cry. We are all brothers and sisters in the spirit and we all matter to the Father. Every little thing we do for others in love, we do for HIM.

The past several years when I came out with my story and told the Lord I would follow Him where ever it took me I had no idea what I was saying. But even though it has been rough at best and so very painful at most I would not trade this journey for anything. I would not have met any of you if I did not decide to follow the call and speak out on that radio show with Zeph Daniel so many years ago. I had no idea then where it would take me and I sure did not see me being here but it has been worth it all the way.

My journey is far from over. I have no idea where I will be even next month. I could not do this without you all. I do know with all of you behind me and believe you me I can hear your cheers and prayers and feel your love all the way, I know it is you all following the Father and through you He is pushing me on. Through the faithfulness of all you dear brothers and sisters, through the faithfulness of our Creator through his Son Jesus Christ I will stay the course. I will keep on, keeping on… for the ones who cannot physically and for the ones who need a voice, but mostly for HIM. MY Lord and SAVIOR!!! Jesus Christ! I will continue until HE calls me home and says “daughter, job well done!”

You all are my dear brothers and sisters and I love you a lot!!!

Your humble sister in the faith,

Love and Prayers Always!!!

Judy

Faith

2011-12-21T01:45:00.000-06:00

You know I always thought I was a person with a fair amount of faith but I am beginning to understand how wrong I was.
I thought that if I prayed for this or that and believed hard enough and that prayer was answered it was because I had faith. I used to believe that if I read and quoted scripture I could build my faith and use that as some kind of formula. I used to believe that faith was just a matter of believing.

Maybe there is an element of truth in all the above but the way I am seeing it these days is that most of what I thought about faith was wrong, just like most of the junk I was always taught.

I was also taught that somehow my faith was not as good as some peoples and that if my prayers were not answered like I thought they should be than it was because I had bad faith.

Lets face it a huge amount of my prayers are never answered or if they are the answer is usually no. But to be honest I do not think God is some kind of genie who is suppose to grant me my every wish. He is my Creator and Father and as my Creator and Father He loves me enough to supply my needs and watch over me, however; He may not do that in the way I see fit.

I am beginning to understand that faith can come in many forms and might even be different for different people. Like some of us have to have the walk on water kind of faith where even though it looks crazy to be going where you are going you have to have faith that no matter what it looks like you are where you need to be, doing what you need to do. But don't look down or around just keep your eyes on Him.. Some have the turn water into wine kind of faith or the tread on serpents kind of faith or the sit in prison with lions faith or even the get chucked into fire kind of faith. Faith is doing. Faith is trusting. Faith is action even if that action is being still. But if faith comes by hearing the words of God then I figure He is gonna put you in some really serious places according to what I have read.

You don't get to live in a nice cozy place eating Bonn-bons and watching soap operas. You don't always even get to have a home or a family. When you choose to take up the cross and follow Him you have to travel light. And you really do not even choose that because He chooses you and when He does you know in your heart you have no other choice but to chunk it all and follow.

I do not know how long I will be where I am now. It may be a few months or maybe longer. In any case it does not even matter because as I go along on this journey I realize it is not about where I am or what I have. It is about trust. It is about faith. It is about following Him to the end.

Getting used to new life

2011-12-03T06:37:00.000-06:00

Well in the last several weeks my whole life has changed directions. One thing I can say about it, nothing is ever dull in my world.
With so many changes there have also been a lot of adjustments but so far I am hanging in there.

My body is very cranky trying to get used to using muscles it forgot it had, my mind is trying to get used to always thinking ahead and not wasting any steps or resources. My spirit is sore from having to give up yet again any hope of reuniting with my children.

I can get used to hauling water and using an outhouse. I can get used to washing everything by hand and living in such a small area. I can get used to not having an income and doing without a lot of useless things. All those things are not really such a big deal however; knowing I have lost my children and grandchildren for the rest of my life on this planet is a hard one to deal with. My hope and prayers are that they will get right with their Maker, forgive and I will see them on the other side. None of my kids have a clue about what is happening on this planet. They believe they have all the time in the world to get things right in their lives. They are all caught up in the things of this world. They love this world. They do not see into the spiritual and are blind. They believe religion will save them when the chips are down or they believe they actually have control enough of their lives to save themselves.

As I was praying the other night I kept crying for my kids. I have been dreaming about them a lot as well. I felt in my spirit that now was my time to grieve but that time was almost over as the Father has too much for me to do and very soon I will be too busy to grieve. You know in Ecclesiastics it talks about there being a time for everything under heaven. Well this is my time to mourn the loss of my children but that is about to end.

My body is being prepared and strengthened for the days ahead. My spirit is being prepared as well. I think my whole life has been in preparation for what is soon to unfold.

I have tried to warn my family but they just think I am a nut. They cannot see the forest for the trees, but is that not most of the people on this planet? Everything that is truth is hidden in plain sight but most are too blind to see. They are more interested in entertainment, nice homes and cars, shopping and success as the world deems it. Sacrifice, forgiveness, responsibility for their actions, caring for others more than themselves is foreign and all labeled under their religion. I hear so many say they are Christians and yet have no clue who or what Christ was and is about. I am not saying I have all the answers but one thing I do know. When you follow Him you lose it all, however, you gain everything. It does not mean I do not hurt or get angry but it does mean that I know deep down inside there just is no other way and nothing is more important than going the course He has set for my life even if it means losing my family. My children cannot fulfill my destiny and they are not worth being separated from my Lord and what He has been preparing me for all my life. I really do not think my kids even have a clue why they resent me so much. They think they know, but they do not understand that they are being used. The enemy knows they have always been my weakness and if he can get at me and destroy me using them he will try. But what he does not know is that even separating me from my children can not force me to deny and walk away for my calling and commitment to my Creator.

I have lost homes and stuff, friends and family but I cannot be separated from the Love of my God. I can be called a lot of things but I know in my heart I am going the course He has set for me. He will never leave me or forsake me. I shall trust in HIM!!! This life is but a vapor in time and my vapor here is almost over. By His strength I will go the course He has set for me and hopefully hear the words "job well done my daughter"when I meet Him face to face.

Hold on my brother's and sister's.... go the course set out for you. This vapor in time is almost over.

Love & Prayers,
Judy

The Big Move

2011-10-27T08:31:00.000-05:00

Well the big move is this weekend...I have managed to either give away ( mostly) most of my things and sell a few things.
This has been hard and challenging but liberating!!!
I am beginning to wonder if I am doing anyone a favor by giving them my stuff. I have decided that more is just more.... traveling light is a better deal.

Anyway I have no idea how or what is next but I am hanging in there.

I will have no plumbing, will use an outhouse and have no washing machine... but so far I think I can
deal with all of that. I am already used to a wood stove. Not looking forward to freezing temps when hauling water for me and my critters but I should get in shape in any case.

My brother and sister- in- law have been great and they have everything down to a fine art. I am no wimp so here I go! : )

Once again thanks for the prayers and support!
What a wonderful bunch of brothers and sisters I have out there!!

Until later,
Judy

Small Update

2011-10-12T15:17:00.000-05:00

Just a small update to let everyone know I am doing OK.
Seems the more I give away the lighter I feel in my spirit.
I am beginning to believe that traveling light is the way to go!!!

My move should be complete by the end of this month.
Lots of challenges and changes to my life but so far so good.

Thanks again for all the prayers going out for me and my family.

When I get settled I will probably have a lot to write about. : )

Much love to you all!!

Judy

Update

2011-10-03T10:01:00.000-05:00

Hey all....

Well I am in transition...
My Mena Address will only be good for another few weeks..my new address will be as follows

PO BOX 2871
Mountain View, AR.
72560

TO all of you who have helped me and prayed for me... GOD BLESS YOU!!!
I am in the process of blessing others with my stuff....praying the Father leads the ones who needs
it the most, to me.

I am doing OK...fighting a cold but otherwise I feel stronger in the spirit then I have in a very long while.
My move should be complete in a few weeks. This is a major faith walk but rather exciting in an odd way. Shedding a lot of baggage along the way.

Please keep up the prayers!!! I will keep you posted as I can.

Again many thanks and GOD BLESS!!

Love,
Judy

2011-09-21T10:38:00.000-05:00

I need to write this on behalf of my husband. My youngest daughter has posted some pretty horrible things about Tim on Face Book. I got off face book because of the damage it was doing to me. Most of my kids have been horrible to me and face book just kind of rubbed that all in. I mean I felt like a voyeur trying to see pics of my grand kids and such. Anyway..my daughter posted some very terrible things about Tim. First off Tim is not a monster...he has some big problems right now and he is getting help for them but he is not evil or anything like my ex husband and especially my dad. In my opinion Tim has been hit by "them' and all of you who have read my life story will understand what I mean.
I am separating from Tim because it is the safest and best thing to do at this point in time. We both agree on this. Whatever is going on please pray for him..he is in a very dangerous place right now.
Tim has always been the most supportive and caring person in my life. He believed me and in me when no one else did. He is my best friend and always will be even if I never see him again.
I do not want any slander or lies about him abounding. My daughter had no right to do what she did. She has hurt a lot of people for no good reason. I am not going to go into all of that but needless to say everything is a huge mess. I am trying to stay focused on what I need to do to get though this. I have not even gotten the chance to talk to my mom or sister about this and then my daughters does this horrible thing. Most of you do not know what happened as you do not have her on your face book but none the less for the family and friends who are, I needed you to know this. My daughter needs prayers as well.

Please pray for all my family... life sucks sometimes but what else is new?

Thanks again for all the prayers and support.
Judy

up date

2011-09-20T14:11:00.000-05:00

Not much to tell but wanted to say thank you for all the support and prayers. I seem to be on auto Pilot right now.
I will be going up to Mt.View, AR. Sunday to my brother's place to see what I need to do to move. I will be getting a PO box then..but until further notice my address are still good that you know on the blog and privately. I will post my new address as soon as I have it.
I feel Mt'View is my best option and my brother is very supportive...he has a travel trailer I can live in.My biggest obstacles will be financial and dumping 22 years of my life..plus finding homes for all my critters.
I am taking one day at a time...
I will update you soon...again you all make me feel stronger knowing I have so many who care and support me.
I love you all...

Judy

Need Prayers...

2011-09-19T07:18:00.000-05:00

Truthfully I am a mess..
My marriage of almost 22 years is done. Not sure what I am going to do at this point but taking it one step and breath at a time.
My PO box will be good until further notice...
All I can say is 'They' won this round. I guess not losing most of my kids was not enough.
However, even though I am broke, with no job history worth anything, and almost 54, I am thinking I can not get much lower. So, maybe this means I can come back up. I just need to figure out how, where and what to do with my life.

If any of you believe in prayers and I know a lot of you do. Then please send some my way.

Many thanks,
Judy

What is Forgivness and other thought...

2011-09-08T14:21:00.000-05:00

What isforgiveness?

I am wondering ifthere really is such a thing. I mean I thought I had forgiven my dad for all heput me through and allowed to happen to me but when he died a few months ago Idiscovered that maybe un-forgiveness was still lurking in the far reaches of myheat. I always thought I was a pretty forgiving person but maybe that is what Iwanted to believe. When people tell me the Jesus died so my sins could beforgiven and for my sins to be forgiven I had to forgive, I never muchquestioned what that might mean.

To be sure my sinsare pretty far reaching and even though I strive to be a decent, caring personI fail more often than not. Let’s face it us humans were brought into thisworld pretty much at a deficit. No matter how much we might strive to do theright thing and be a good person we fail at that attempt. So what is the pointof all of this? I can forgive and I can try to forget but both are almostimpossible. No matter how much I try to forgive, I always have to go back andwork on the same issues. If that is not bad enough I always have to deal withnew and improved issues.

I concede thatsome people are just plain bone bad and evil to the core however; most of usare tired humans trying to survive this messed up planet and life we are given.We try and find some meaning for why we are here and for what we endure whilewe are here but in the end I really do not think any of us have a flipping’clue.

I hear peopleblame disasters on unrepentant sinners, homosexuals, and any numbers of thingsto give some reason for ‘shit happens’. But let’s face it, shit does happen! Imean why do some people get to be born in trash dumps, live their live thereand die there? Why are some people born into pain, live in pain and die inpain? Are they bad? Did they do something so horrible before birth that theyhave to pay? Did their parents or grandparents do something so bad that theyhave to pay? I have heard that people are cursed into several generations forwhat their ancestors might have done. Does that seem right? I have heard thatwe should never question God because He has a plan and we are too stupid to getit or that if we follow certain rituals of prayer and deliverance we canovercome those curses. Truthfully I have never seen anyone really overcome muchof anything. I have only seen people survive and keep going or die trying.

Do I soundcynical? Well, probably… sigh. I spent a huge part of my life trying to survivea God who never seemed to interfere ‘when shit happened’. It was suppose tomake me stronger or something in the end. Do I feel ripped off? No, not reallybecause I always knew that my faith only had the strength to carry me throughnot deliver me from. I am convinced that the God of the Christian churches isnot the same Creator of all. Why do I think that? Well because if He is then Heis always changing his mind about things, always upset at us and really hasvery little forgiveness in him. He requires a lot of ritual and hoopla and hecloses his eyes to the sin he is suppose to oppose. The God of the Christianchurches demands perfection while claiming he does not expect that from us. He claimsto have created us in perfection only for us to be imperfect. He is a ton ofcontradictions.

Then we are taughtthat there is light and dark, good and evil, them and us. So who is them andwho is us? You know the good guys and the bad guys? Let’s see… there are theChristians who have said the sinners prayer, ‘Good guys?’ and those who havenot…’Bad guys?’ Hummm, so let’s see where that leaves us. Are the bad guysanyone who is not a professed Christian? Are the bad guys the demons, illuminati,all other religions, non-believers, homosexuals, etc, etc? Ok, I have knownChristians who do some pretty horrible things however, since they areChristians I guess they are exempt and all the rest are in trouble. Oh yeah allthe others will burn forever in the dark recesses of hell. Oh, man I forgot theJews..They are chosen so that means they are exempt from being that bad guys aswell. So let’s get this straight. The good guys are Christians and Jews and thebad guys are everyone else. As long as you do what you do in the name of ChristI guess that makes it ok. Sin can then be subjective. So I guess that is whyall the guys on TBN can do what they do and still be the good guys. So I guesshating and blaming Muslims and homosexuals for all our problems is ok if you doit in the name of Christ. Killing them is probably ok too, If you do it in thename of Christ. So I guess forgiveness is subjective as well?

I have heard thatthis country was founded on Christian principles. That may be true but are theythe principles of the Creator? The Masons believe in the supreme architect andthey also believe in serving a supreme God and they also worship other gods.They founded this country and dedicated it to those gods from the verybeginning. They did not make it a secret, they did it is plain sight however;most professing Christians refuse to see the blatantly phallic and esoteric symbolsall over every government building in this country, especially in Washington D.C.on our flag, our money, our state seal. They really believe that this countrywent bad when the Ten Commandments were taken down and prayer was stopped in schools.They talk about the good old days but were they really good? Or were those daysjust part of the illusion. Maybe bad people did not seem so bad then becausethey hid it better. Now bad is all in plain sight. Hey, maybe that is theproblem, what you do not see cannot be there.

If this is aChristian nation then we need to really rethink what being a Christian is. I amsure Christ the Savior would not approve of what we have had here from thebeginning. All I know is that my whole life has been filled with contradictionsand they have all centered on religion and God. Maybe the Creator of all is notwho you think He is. Maybe we have all been lied to from the beginning. Maybeif we dare we need to reach deep down into our souls and cry out for Him toreveal the truth of who He is to us and to show us the errors of our ways. Thenwe might need to learn to forgive all the people who duped us over and over intheir own ignorance.

Maybe I am aswrong as a person can be. Maybe I am one of the bad guys. Maybe I am onto sometruth. Maybe just a small piece but some truth just the same. All I know isthat I have never found a God worth serving in a church. I have found Him in myown small corner crying out from the depths of my soul.

Will He forgive memy unbelief? Will He forgive me my questions? Will he forgive me for beinghuman? Will He forgive me for denying my Christian roots? Will He forgive mefor questioning the bible as being all His words? Will He forgive me while I learnto forgive?

Another day, another range of thoughts

2011-08-12T14:42:00.001-05:00

Well I am sure you all are very tired of hearing about my struggles but since this is my blog and it is a safe place to vent….well that is what I tend to do.

I took my 8 year old grandson yard selling this morning. He loves that and we have not done it in a while. Anyway I found this interesting mirror for a $1.00 and after a short debate with myself I bought it. Someone had taken a broken mirror and glued all the pieces on a canvas in a collage pattern and then framed it. For some reason I loved it and it spoke to all the broken parts of me. Oh I can lie and say I am whole and wonderful but even I know how shattered I still am in many ways.

I have had a hidden alter as of late poking out and jabbing me a bit. I am not sure who she is or why she is poking at me now but I suspect she has some new memories for me to rewind. I had a night full of dreams Wed. night where all I did was either help deliver unwanted babies or I was in labor myself about to give birth. I woke in a very odd mood to say the least. I have been wondering what those dreams are about Are they memories of sorts or are they telling me I am about to give birth to something else in my memory bank? I was once told by a friend that when he gets depressed he knows it is God trying to speak to him. Well I have been wondering if this odd depression I have been fighting is maybe the Father trying to get my attention. Maybe He has some memories and past issues that need to be tended to and this is the time.

Whatever, but in any case I have been having some really weird allergy symptoms and I do not normally have allergy problems except with my skin, so it makes me think something else is triggering it. I am also having a huge problem staying in the present when I do anything for any length of time. Writing this is a challenge because my head wants to float off. I keep hearing someone calling my name at odd times also. Am I nuts?

So, there it is all out there for everyone to see. I am a potential nut case. : ) No seriously I really would like to know if any other survivors out there are going through this sort of thing. I am sure the memories will blast me soon but I am guessing it is another part of my healing.

I was remembering last night (I could not sleep well for some reason) about when I was a kid. I was not a bad kid in the bad kid sense but I had my issues with right and wrong. In spite of all the trauma and abuse I was enduring I had some fairly normal kid moments. I remember once when I was 10, that I really wanted this doll for some reason. I only had about a dollar and she cost a couple of dollars. I wanted her so bad that I switched the price tag off of something else that was a dollar and bought her. As I was walking home I remember feeling so guilty but not so guilty as to take her back and confess. Anyway I never did enjoy that doll and do not know where she ended up. My next wave of crime came when I was around 12 or 13. I did a short shoplifting stint. I did not steal anything big mostly 45’s, pens and such. The biggest thing I took was a Barbie for a kid who did not have one. I guess I thought that vindicated me? My crime wave lasted about a month and I found it totally unsatisfying so I quit. Mostly I felt guilty.

I went through a lying faze when I was about 12. I told huge lies about my dad. I told everyone how cool he was and I had this whole fantasy life made up. That did not last too long either. I always wrestled with right and wrong and I never really understood the concept of boundaries as a kid. I would let anyone treat me like crap and then come back for more. My way of dealing was going it alone most of the time.

When I was 13 I remember going down to the creek with a couple of local boys and a girlfriend. I guess we were supposed to have sex with the boys. I was not sure what I was supposed to do but it never occurred to me to say no even thought I did not want to go. Even after 40 years I can still feel the shame and humiliation of this incident, but one thing I learned that day was this. Even if I did not understand boundaries and even if I did not know I had the right to say no I decided that I would do my best to find ways to avoid such situations in the future because this one really hurt me.

I was such a broken and confused little girl trying to make sense out of a world that had no sense. As a grown woman so many years later I can still feel that little girl curled up inside trying to find a safe place to feel good about herself and still trying to make sense out of a crazy world.

I guess I wrote all of that to say this… I had a moral code inside of me all along even if everyone who was suppose to care for me ( and otherwise) tried to abuse it out of me. If the Creator puts something that deep inside of us then it stands to reason that His children will follow that code in the end even if it is hit and miss. Maybe the enemies’ of our souls really cannot separate us from the Love of God as He is written in our hearts with His code.

If an abused and traumatized young girl who had been taught that bad is good and good in bad can still find a moral code inside of herself, then it seems to me that all of His children have the same hope. Maybe we are not all bad as we are always told and lead to believe? Maybe there is a lot of good inside of us and that is what pushes us on towards the call if His voice. He calls to the code of Himself that He put inside of his children. And as His children we respond. Maybe not right away and maybe with a lot of detours and wrong turns but in the end we respond and come home to Him that created us.

That is all I have to say for today…

Thank you

2011-08-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

I just want to thank everyone for your encouragement and inspiration...I will be updating soon, however I wanted you all to know how much you all keep me pushing on.

By the way has it been hot in your neck of the woods? Sure been hot here, suppose to be 111 today..yuck!!! My critters are not too happy. These earth changes are getting harder all the time, especially the sun. Seems I can not be out in it at all without breaking out in a rash. As for gardening..sigh... I try and keep my plants watered in hopes that it will cool down enough for them to start producing before they die. I can see where in the future food is gonna be a trial of faith all the way.

Until later,
Love & Prayers,
Judy

A horse...

2011-07-25T15:51:00.000-05:00

This has been a hard year for me. I am not saying that all the years I have been on this planet have been good, easy and wonderful however; I am saying that this one has made me sit back a lot and wonder just what the hell I am doing here.

During the first years of my healing when I was dealing with flashbacks, nightmares and psyche wards plus counselors who were trying their best to either re-boot my programming or reprogram me period, I admit I was a serious basket case. Depression was my main fight as I was always in a state just short of offing myself. You can call it my suicide programming or whatever but to say the least I was living in a constant state of darkness and trauma. I often had a very hard time trying to decide if I was here or back there with all my abusers.

I have spent a lot of time the last six years or so trying to help other survivors and give them a little hope, compassion and validation, things that I needed so much in the beginning. There was no internet back then or comfort groups and the psyche wards did not even deal in MPD/DID. I was either labeled bipolar or whatever … all my therapists admitted I had been sexually abused but I was not allowed to go near ritual abuse or anything else. I knew nothing about project paperclip, MK or Monarch programming. I knew I had an odd fear of the color green back then but had nothing to associate it with. I was given shock treatments without me or my husband’s consent. I was drugged almost out of my mind and I almost died from all the drugs they were continually pumping into me like cocktails… all kinds of mixtures. I felt like a human guinea pig. But somewhere in the middle of all of this, way back in my mind I knew I was not crazy. I knew I had to find a way to fight my way back and fight to live. So I did.

Trying to reel a mind back in that has been so traumatized and abused is no easy feat. Most of the time I could only sit on the outside and observe myself trying to fight through the fog and pain. I would feel like a person in a coma trying to communicate with the world outside only to be paralyzed and mute. I could see everyone and hear everyone but could not communicate my pain or my thoughts at all. Anything that came out was garbled and missconscrewed. I became frustrated and angry.

I yelled at GOD a lot. I hit myself a lot and even cut on myself trying to let all the pain and anger out. I would watch my blood run and for a few minutes feel a little relief and then I would feel guilty and stupid for cutting myself.

I heard about deliverance ministers and I admit way back then I was game to try anything to get some relief and get well. Most Christians would not come near me. Hey a nut from the nuthouse was a scary thing for most Christians to deal with and I did look pretty loopy back then. I was told I needed deliverance from all my demons and then I would be whole. Instant cure, IF I had enough faith and IF I followed all directions of the deliverance minister. Well…. One thing I did learn, there are no deliverance ministers. There are ministers who claim they are deliverance ministers but that is about it. I was way worse off afterwards then I was before I started. What I did not know was how they control, manipulate and reprogram, not fix or deliver anything. So far I have seen no instant cures and I have not seen or met any real deliverance ministers. I have heard many horror stories from other survivors who fell into the same trap.

So where is the hope in all of this? Well my hope came within myself reaching out to my Creator, one on one, honestly and openly. No instant cures or deliverance, sorry. I did notice however, that when I started getting real with my Heavenly Father and coming straight to Him that my parts started merging and I started little by little healing. I also noticed how the fear started leaving me. I was no longer afraid of ‘them’. That seemed to let the steam out of what ‘they’ could do to me in the way of harassment. Not to say I am not still harassed. I am from time to time. I have also been separated from most of my kids and grandkids. That has been rough. It is probably the roughest part of this scenario.

So here I am again wondering what I am doing here and why. You might say ‘Judy, you’re here to help other survivors’ and that may be true on some level. But truthfully the longer I plod along the more I wonder, what is the point of all of this? This stuff just seems to never end and the more I learn the more I know just how deep and far this stuff reaches. Man, this stuff can make a person a bit jaded and despondent from time to time.

I get so tired of all the Christian platitudes and scriptures of the sweet by and by when I see and hear so much pain and heartache right now. I keep trying to tell myself that there is a plan in all of this, but more and more I really wonder about that.

I have no desire to get on the radio anymore and spout hope. I feel so hopeless myself. I am so very tired. If it were not for my husband and daughter and the few grandchildren I am blessed to be with I would hang it up.

I feel so lost, without from and void.

So what do I do? I don’t really know anymore. All I do know is that I get up and keep going. I do not know how to do anything else.

Sometimes I dream about having a small farm where I can spend my time caring for animals of many kinds (I would really like to have a rescue horse and some goats) trying to grow small crops and painting everything in sight. Well I do have some animals and a pitiful garden of sorts but I do not paint anymore. I often feel as if it is unless to paint. I mean when this is all over what will my art ever be but trash? Maybe I do not have the passion for life that I need anymore. Everything I do seems frivolous and vain. With the planet falling down around us what am I even thinking?

I spent over two years with Hospice and while I loved being with the patients, I always get to emotionally involved. I do care for an elderly couple 3 mornings a week but that is not filling my heart. I always thought that the more I gave away of myself the more whole I would feel and while I did feel good, it did not fill the void inside of me.

So, here I am again… trying to figure out who I am and why I am even here, why any of this is even here.

Am I even me? Am I another alter rising up and fighting for view? Does my faith even exist at all or is it all an illusion?

Oh GOD, speak to me! Are you there? Am I even real? Am I an illusion?

Healing comes in many forms and it is a constant state of being. Maybe this is just another part of the constant. I said I feel without form and void. Might that mean I might be on the verge of a recreation?

I wish I could ride a horse. I wish I could draw a horse. I wish I had a horse to learn to ride and draw. What am I rambling about? I am a little bit afraid of horses…their size and power. Sometimes I am afraid of life… its size and power. I do not seem to be able to ride or draw either one. I just seem to stand alongside of both and wonder and wish and maybe hope a little that I will be able to get up on both, ride into the sunset with a sketch book in my lap.

Until later,

Maybe not a rant just ponderings....

2011-07-18T16:40:00.000-05:00

I am always in the process of thinking about something or another. Don’t know if I ever figure anything out or not, but I continue to think none the less.

I often wonder if all my ponderings are a good thing. I mean how do you shut off your brain? Sometimes I do it by reading, sometimes by being creative via, art and sometimes just by doing something as simple as the dishes. But is pondering really all that good or bad? I often get what I call brain cramps when I study on something way to long.

Recently I was pondering about some people I thought I knew and they turned out to be strangers. I thought and thought about how they could be so, not what I thought they were and then I wondered why I missed all the signals. Why do I always seem to miss all the signals when it comes to people?
Is it because I am too trusting? Is it because I am naive? Is it because I am stupid? Then I wonder why I even care. I mean after I figure out I have been duped I spend way too much time thinking about how I could change things or if I am really wrong about it all, or if I am paranoid. I even catch myself studying the people who duped me looking for some sign glaring out at me that will tell me something to make sense of it all.

What is worse is that most of these people call themselves Christian. What is a Christian anyway? Is it a term used for a religion? Is it someone who just uses the label because it fits their convictions? Is it just a catch all term?

My daughter recently called me pretty upset because a person whom she thought she knew told her she was having affairs on her husband. My daughter was floored. When she confronted her friend about the choices she was making and how it was affecting all the people in her life, her friend kind of got perturbed with my daughter. Then her friend went on face book and started spouting Christian this and Christian that and talking about church etc. just like her adulteries were no big deal.

My daughter was soooo upset but she was wondering if she was being to judgmental in not wanting to be friends with this person anymore. I felt my blood pressure rising. Not at my daughter but at the whole situation. How many times have I been told in church not to judge? What is judging anyway? Is it not making a call on weather something is or isn't or something? What is a Christian? If my memory serves me right in all the years I was in that mode, I always thought it meant a certain standard of conduct, morals, beliefs, etc. Now I know we can not all be perfect but I always thought there was suppose to be a standard to follow. So is there? Was that just my delusion? It seems there is not a standard anymore for anything.

I do not want to be called a Christian anymore because of what I see in churches and people who claim that title and while I am not perfect….. (By far to be sure), I do hold to some pretty clear standards for my life. I really want to honor my Creator/Father with the life He has given me and I do not want to shame Him. I know I have at times but I also know I strive very hard not to.

So what is a Christian, a term to use as a catch all maybe? Is it someone who belongs to an organized religion maybe? I have seen more Satanists/Christians then anything on this planet. I have been hurt by more Christians then anyone on this planet. I have had to fight anger, rage, un-forgiveness and everything in between because of the hits I have taken and have seen others take from proclaimed Christians. It has to be the most controlling, hurtful religion on the planet. Maybe Islam is next to it. I think they are brother and sister religions personally.

When someone asks me to go to church I almost have a massive panic attack. How whacked is that? But even though I have massive Christian issues I cannot deny I have met those who call themselves Christian and seem to really hold to Christ’s teachings and have a serious relationship with the Creator. They seem to have a lot of love for others and are always on the helping end when someone needs a hand. They are patient and kind and have hearts that are as big as the planet and beyond, but I have met people who are not Christians who have those attributes as well. They also have a relationship with the Creator and hold to Christ’s teachings etc. but just do not believe in Christianity. So are they wrong? Are they doomed? Maybe all of the Creator’s children come in different packages. I was always taught that there was only one religion that was true ‘Christianity’, but I think that is a lie. No religion is true.

In my opinion only a real relationship with the Creator/Father is true. Everything else is just packaging.
So I ponder on… brain cramps and all!!

My first 'new' rant...

2011-07-08T16:40:00.000-05:00

Well you have all done me proud readers and blog followers. Seems you all do not mind my rants and the pouring out of my feelings and dealings with this planet and it religious craziness. And thanks for your support!!

So ok, I am going to start this off with the newest thing to set me off on the religious realm.

One of my friends, and yes she is a friend and she does mean well sent me a link to a web site that featured a girl around 18 who claims she died, went to hell and heaven and came back to scare the hell out of everyone so they will repent and not writhe in agony for eternity. What got me throughout the whole thing was all the fear laced through it. She claimed the God told her he was going to kill her at a certain time and while she was dead he was going to show her some things so she could warn others. There was a lot of scripture quoted and nice Christians knocking on her door to confirm what God had told her.

Oddly after she died God introduced himself as Jehovah,( I have serious doubts about that being His name) then she met the Holy Spirit and Christ. The Holy Spirit had a shape of a man and was walking around.(Odd) I am not sure who took her on the tour. Anyway first she went to hell where it was hot and dark and people were crying out to God to have mercy on their souls while demons poked and prodded them and worms were eating at their flesh. Her first encounter was the singer Selenia (not sure I spelled her name right sorry) and then Michael Jackson, Pope John Paul and various relatives along with rebellious children who watched too much TV, especially cartoons. The person who was giving the tour explained what they had done and why they were in hell.

Now I have issues all over the place with scenario. First off one of the holy three told her that hell was not made for man it was made for Satan and his demons. Well then why were the demons having such a grand time poking and tormenting the humans? Was this place created as a party place for them? I mean does that really make sense. They get to do what they love to do most while the humans writhe in agony. Put it this way..The demons/fallen angles whatever you want to label them were created in perfection, Lived with the Creator, chose to fall and rebel against GOD and then they get to party for millenniums. Then you have humans who are born into a world that is jacked up, kicked around from birth, live here a short time and if they do not get it right… (Find a Christian religion of their choice and follow all religious instructions) they get to roast and be tormented forever by the happy demons that hate us anyway and are doing what they love to do. Then we are told that in order to escape this horrible fate we need to love a God who would do such a thing to the creation He claims to love and fear him and spend our lives loving to fear him so we can avoid hell. But I do remember being told that the demons and Satan only have a short time to party and never question God as he has our best in mind. You say a short time to party? How many thousands of years do you suppose is enough party time for these sick creatures? I mean we screw up in less the say 80 years or so and we are toast. I am confused…..

Most of you who have read my story and that is probably all of you who follow my blog know what I have had to forgive and deal with in my healing.
I have to say in all honesty I am not a saint or perfectly wonderful person. I have faults. I probably say the S@*t word too much, I get angry too much, and I do a lot of things I am not proud of. Anyway, one thing I do know is that with all that has been done to me I never wish the same and more back to my perpetrators. My prayer is and always has been…. Father take um out!!! Just get rid of them, throw out the garbage. I do not get off with visions of fiery torment for ever on any human and the ones who are not human…well just destroy the mess. I cannot stand the thought of my perps being somewhere out there in the cosmos in any capacity. I just want them gone. Period.

Am I better then God? No way…. But if I can feel that way about the people and demons that hurt me then I figure the Creator of all probably feels a whole lot stronger about this sort of thing.
So to wrap this one up I will sum it up….

Torment in a place called hell for eternity if you chose not to serve God is fear based religion. I chose to serve The Creator of all because I love Him, not because I fear him. I do not want anyone to love me out of fear. Maybe there is a hell somewhere, hope I never encounter it but I am beginning to believe it is a place not so much connected with the Creator as it is with religion to scare the hell out of people so they will fall in line.

If you belong to the Creator you will want to do right, you will love Him, and you will have His moral code imprinted on your heart. He says He will never lose one of his own, so if you are lost eternally then stands to reason you were never His.
I have seen many people who have said the sinner’s prayer and gone to church religiously and were horrible. I have seen many who never said the sinner’s prayer or went to church and have a very close relationship with the Father. They do not need the fear of a tormenting hell to serve the one who put his mark on them and in their heart in the first place.

You can quote scripture all over the place at me on this one…but sorry I am not buying it. I have heard all the arguments all my life.

When I was talking to the Creator the other morning after reading this article that was when it dawned on me how angry I was at the Christian view of GOD…. I have spent a lifetime being afraid of the one who created me because I thought I would screw it up.

If Christ died to save us…. If he went to a place called hell to get the keys and spring his own out there…then what is the problem? Do you honestly think all your favorite bible characters in the Old Testament were being tormented and abused there before Christ came? What about poor old John the Baptist? He died before Christ. What is the motivation to serve this God? Who is this God that would condemn human kind to eternal torment for a few years on a crazy planet? What about all the people who never even heard of the Christian religion? What about all the people who love their Creator but do not believe in the Christian organized religion? What about me?

And while I am at it, what about poor ol’ Michael? In my humble opinion it didn’t look to me like he was having a picnic while he was alive. That man broke my heart everytime I saw him. I figure he was a mind controlled, trauma based victim pretty much all his life. My hope is that when he died, Christ came to him and reveled himself to Michael and finally Michael being free from all the mind control recognized his Savior and fell down at His feet, repented and loved Him and he was forgiven and loved back.
Now that is a GOD I can believe in.

Questions for my Readers

2011-07-05T14:02:00.001-05:00

I have been thinking a lot about anger and unforgiveness.
Truthfully I thought I was pretty much through the anger stuff and forgiveness is always as ongoing process in anyone’s life however; the anger and unforgiveness that I have been having problems with has not so much been about my past physical abusers as it has been about my past spiritual abusers.

Lately I have found myself getting especially angry when I pass church buildings, or when Christians start toting their church lines and doctrines at or around me.
I find myself getting defensive to the point of being belligerent.
I am becoming more and more aware of how much damage has been done to me in the name of religion. It is like I am having a huge battle within myself over religious issues, phrases and beliefs.
The chip on my shoulder is growing and I do not like what I see growing there. My anger is right next to the surface and I get into a fighting stance anytime I even perceive a religious threat to my spirit.
Wow, what a revelation. Judy the survivor who has dealt with abusers by the tons, has cried buckets of tears and prayed for the strength to forgive my abusers is now fighting anger issues over Christian abusers.

There is so much I want to spew out about how I am feeling and so much I want to say about this issue that is eating away at me, but I am afraid I will scare my readers to the point where they will never read a word I ever write again. And I do not want to push away everyone I care about over this issue. But I do want to get through and past this issue so it will not be an issue anymore.
So I will start with this…

How many of you out there are having this problem? How many want me to keep writing until I write my way through this part of my healing? Yes this is another part of my healing and I would like to share it with you all but it could get ugly. Will you judge me when I write about things that are uncomfortable? Will you understand that I am just trying to understand and make sense of things myself?
If you all want me to keep on keep ‘in on with this one, let me know and I will go for it.

Thanks,
Judy

Yeah, I am still around...

2011-06-28T08:53:00.000-05:00

Hello All….

It has been a while has it not? I am sure I have lost a lot of my blog followers in the last several months as I have not posted anything in so long.
Truthfully I have not had a lot to say and I figure as I have said many times before if I do not have anything worth saying then I need to be quiet. You all get enough people out there rambling just to hear their selves ramble.

I have undergone quite a lot of changes this past year. My dad past away a few months ago and I had to deal with all the stuff that went with losing a parent who was not only a perpetrator and abuser, but also just decide if I wanted to go the his funeral. I didn’t. I forgave my dad but I still had a lot of unresolved issues none the less. One thing I am beginning to see is that some people we just need to stay away from especially at times, toxic family members. I think a lot of people keep contact out of guilt or that old Christian garbage of honoring your parents and family ties. Not that honoring your parents is a bad thing but in some cases it is just not possible and sometimes even dangerous.

I admit that sometimes I get weary. I miss my kids and grandkids I do not see, I wish for a more normal existence, whatever that is? I do try and create a life here with what I have been blessed with, my husband, my few children who do see me and talk to me and the few grandkids I have contact with. I enjoy my animals and my humble attempts at gardening. I also have a small job caring for an older couple and cleaning their house. Right now I signed up for on-line graphic art classes only because I needed the outlet and a way to keep my mind sharp and functioning. I also wanted to finish that degree I started so long ago. Will I get a great job and go places because of it? On this planet it is very doubtful but I have decided I needed a serious distraction from all the death doomsday stuff. It might seem frivolous taking classes but people we have to live. We cannot curl up and die because some people out there insist we give up life because doomsday is at our feet or the ‘rapture’ is imminent. I am wondering if maybe a lot of these people are just getting off being prophets of doom. They give no hope and only criticism to anyone who is not supporting them or trying to have any kind of life away from all the doomsday crap.

Now I am not saying it is wrong to prepare for possible disasters however; even with the best preps who can predict when and where disaster will strike? Ask all those people whose towns have been wiped out this year.

I am beginning to think that shit happens in spite of what we do or do not do. All I can say is we need to stay close to our Creator. Form a relationship with Him. All praying is, is talking to the Creator. I do realize that the rain and sun fall and shine on the good and bad. Disasters are no respecter of persons. I am beginning to think it is not even a personal thing. I mean how many people do you think were praying when any of those killer tornados were hitting towns? Or how many people so you think were praying when the flood waters were and are rising? Or how many people do you think were praying when they saw a tsunami coming at them? Do you honestly think all those people were so bad they deserved what they got? Then why are we still here? Personally I am not that good of a person. I am human with faults and all. Anytime I get spared a disaster I feel very blessed and know my time could come next. I do not take it personal when disaster strikes I just figure it is what happens when you live on this changing planet. If I die I die. I am not looking to die but it happens. That is why I decided to live this life as best I can in the most positive way I can. God did not give us a life to throw it away or hoard it. We all need to find something we love to do and do it. Use our talents. Help others when we can and just be kind to people weather they deserve it or not. Check on your neighbors, open a door for someone and pass on a smile. Volunteer at a hospital, nursing home and animal shelter, whatever…. Find something you can give of yourself and find something that makes you smile.
Go fishing, go hiking or go for a short walk in the park. Bake a cake, fly a kite, or take those classes you have wanted to take. Paint a picture; soak in a nice bath, read a good book or call a friend and chat. Sew a quilt or do some cross-stitch, maybe even put together a puzzle. I promise you disasters will happen and probably to all of us. But do not live for the disasters that will happen sometime or another, live for your life that you have been given now.

I think we will be judged in this life for what we wasted more than for anything else. So do not waste a precious moment of the life you have been given.
Whatever moves your heart, get at it!!! The Creator did not put us here to wait for death and doomsday. He put us here to LIVE!!!! And living is loving, caring, forgiving, using the talents we have and enjoying the beauty of this planet. I promise you there still is a lot of beauty left.

Well that is my lecture today. If you want to piss the enemy off…then live your life and enjoy what you have of it!
Love & Prayers,
Judy

Thoughts...

2011-01-30T10:25:00.000-06:00

You know when I was a kid I guess I never really thought about what I would be or what I would do when I grew up. I spent so much energy on just surviving that any future endeavors just did not enter my mind other then getting away from home.
I know I loved babies and my dolls were always a source of friendship and comfort so maybe the mommy thing was the biggest ambition on my plate. In any case there was never any mention of college or anything at all for that matter. My mom did mention now and then that I ought to marry a rich man; however that did not happen...HA! Money and material things were never a huge deal to me. I was always the more nature kind of girl.

The best memories of my childhood were the times before I was seven, in the summers going to visit my maternal grandparents. I loved them very much and do not have any painful memories attached to those few weeks in the summer we went to see them. I always considered those visits a respite from real life.
I guess now as a 53 year old grandmother I have the desire myself to make those kind of memories and become that kind of safe haven for my grandchildren. But I guess that is not meant to be. Seems like life never turns out like we plan or think it should, because if I ever had any hopes and dreams of my future it would have been spending my middle age years and late years with my children and grandchildren visiting from time to time and making wonderful memories.

Maybe that is one of the great American dreams??? This planet is so jacked up who can say what is normal anymore on any level. I often hear myself say things I heard my elders say when I was a much younger person. I know I often though how shell shocked my grandpa much have felt to enter the twentieth century and see so many changes come so quickly. But now I am seeing that all for myself. There are so many changes coming from the twentieth century into the twenty-first century that I cannot keep up and some of those changes really un-nerve me.

One of the biggest changes is how people interact with each other. My grandkids have no idea how to write a letter or a thank you note, things WE were taught in school. They can text but cannot spell. They can play X-box but cannot build a tree house or play using their imaginations. They think it is punishment to have to go outside. I remember it being punishment to stay inside!!! They want in all adult conversations…I wanted to be far away from any adult conversations. All the dolls on the toy isles look like some kind of creepy aliens or worse yet badly dressed hookers…no more real life baby dolls or innocence. All the boys’ toys seem to have something to do with violence, or the supernatural. The toys have to talk, walk and do just about everything but encourage kids to use their imaginations.

Childhood is lost to this generation I fear and so are positive family connections. I read all the time in the news where kids just kill their parents or grandparents if they try and discipline them or dare to say no and just last night I heard on the radio where a mother shot and killed her two children because they would not listen to her.
As crazy as my childhood was I am beginning to think it was preferable to what I am seeing now. They tend to be bunch of programmed robots with no feelings for others or concepts of positive social contacts, and no sense of humanity. They are the results of the perfect mind control society. And this society is big on keeping family ties very limited. Isolate and control.
Makes me what to belong to some pigmy tribe or some Eskimo tribe way out there somewhere away from so much technology and at a place where you have to work together as a unit to even survive. That place where family connections are important to survival and where a sense of community is a must. I wonder, does that even exist out there anymore?

I do not think the Creator, designed us to live like we are living on this planet. He sure did not design us to be alone and He did design the family unit because He deemed that very important and a huge part of community. He gave us communication skills to where we could really look into each other’s eyes and communicate via talk and He gave is the ability to do critical thinking and work together using our various talents and abilities to make this a better, safe planet for each other.
I think we have lost all if not most of those abilities. Normal survival responses are gone in most cases. Parents cannot discern much of any of the overt dangers that are plaguing their children anymore. It is much easier to hand them a phone or let them sit in front of a mind controlling game or movie then to really take the time to teach them right from wrong, real communication, compassion, humanity. Those things take time and patients. Those things take creativity because our society does not deal in those things anymore and you will be condemned on many sides for your time and effort. However, as a parent is that not what we are called to do?

I am not saying I did all the great in raising my kids. I was a bad parent at best. I did my best I guess I can say considering what I knew but none the less I was not what I would deem a good parent. I loved my kids and I tried to teach them concepts of manners, humanity and community in that there were always others worse off than us and we have a responsibility to help them when we can. I tried to teach them right from wrong and to use critical thinking, don’t just follow the crowd. Mostly I tried to give them a sense of their Creator and His Son our Savior Jesus Christ. I tried to instill that faith in something much bigger then themselves and how they were responsible for the choices they made in their lives but when they did screw up they always had the choice to get back up and start over and that faith in HIM would help them get back up and try again. I always advocated to them to NEVER give up!!!! Giving up is not an option on this planet as long as we breath as we have an advocate, in the Savior and HE will never leave us or forsake us.
Now did any of that take? Maybe… I am praying it did. Since I do not know how to text, communication is very limited. HA!

So as of late this is what I have been contemplating. My heart has been hurting for the loss of my grandchildren’s innocence and childhood and I am hurting for the loss of my children in missing those things in their children.
I once told my mom ‘I will not make your mistakes, I will make my own.’ And I did, in droves; however I can see that my own children will not make my mistakes either… they are making their own. As terrifying as it is, there is nothing I can do but pray. And so pray I will do and hope that the Creator of all intervenes quickly before all the children are lost eternally.

HE says HE never loses one of his own so I am praying that HE still has some of His own in this generation of lost, mind controlled children and their parents.
That is my hope. My only hope… for such a lost planet.

Hey All

2011-01-29T17:01:00.000-06:00

Well I am still around. Just when I think I will be able to post more often something seems to get in they way. In any case I have a lot on my mind so in the next few days I am going to try and write for this blog and update what has been happening in my life....if anyone is interested??? : ) Well a few of you are...I do know that. My faithful followers, what would I do without you?

Anyway stay tuned....and by the way..I am still hanging in there.

Later,
Judy

Hey There, Miss me?

2011-01-06T13:55:00.000-06:00

Pray you all had a nice Holiday season...
Mine was nice but busy...

Today I am writing about depression....might be a fit subject since all if the Holiday stuff and a New untried year ahead.

Anyway that is what I am dealing with so here goes...

You know one of the things I like about having my own blog is that I can write about anything I want. I don't have to please a certain group of people or worry about being politically correct or any of that stuff. I can just write about whatever is on my mind or my heart. Who ever decides to read this can always choose not too.

So today I feel like writing about depression....because like most normal people living on this planet, depression is something that tends to lerk just around that corner waiting to trip us up when we least expect it too. At least that is the way it is for me.

I am bopping along pretty well and then BAM!!! I hit the proverbial wall. I should know the signs..Lord knows it is not a new thing for me but none the less I always seem to get blind sighted just the same.

Most of the time I think I am a pretty up-beat person. I try to be in any case. I try to spend my days pushing on and doing what I think the Father would have me doing while I am on this planet. I admit that some days getting out of bed is hard at best.As a survivor of long time trauma and abuse my body has taken a toll and complains way more then I am happy about. I still fight those endless headaches and my emotions can get all over the place if I am not very careful.

My faith has kept me going this far so I know that is one thing I won't give up however in spite of the fact I can feel very separated from my Creator at times. I often think about Job and his delima. The Father told the enemy he could do whatever basically he wanted to Job, he just could not kill him. When I hear stories from other Survivors and listen to the pain pouring out of their hearts I really understand how they feel and what they are going through. I know from my own life that although we get reprieves from the onslaught of pain and heartache as long as we live in this world we will be persecuted and be fighting a battle. I don't know about you but fighting battles are painful and hard. My Father gives me strength to keep fighting the good fight of faith however I am still a human in a very human body and I for one have not been able to completely overcome my human-ness.

The Father gives me peace, love and a sound mind, so that is a promise I hang onto with all I have in me to hang with..and when I run our of hanging power I remember He has taken the slack for that one.
But...I still fight depression. When I was a church goer I was always told I had to be some upbeat, positive person and when I was not it was because I had somehow failed. So I did not talk about how I really felt much to anyone and I still find it very hard to reach out when I am struggling.

I have been very blessed to have this blog to vent on..and even more blessed to receive all the nice encouragement and prayers from other true believers out there. No condemnations...no reprimands, just loving compassion. And sometimes that is all we need. We do not need to be told what we are doing is wrong all the time. Especially when we are fighting depression.

I have been told that depression is anger turned inward. I think in a lot of cases that is true. I also think it can be from unforgiveness and then there are times it is just because we are too tired. I think my depressions are in many cases anger and unforgiveness. The anger is usually when I have memories that are trying to come to the surface and my mind is fighting to keep them hidden. Unforgiveness is another thing I think I fight in some cases. I always try and be forgiving however, I think sometimes I fail on that one and struggle with letting some things go. I try and forgive and even think I have, only to find out later I really didn't ...I just buried my feelings deeper.

Feelings are a hard thing for me to understand. I can never really trust anything I feel because all my life my feelings have been so manipulated. I have learned the hard way to never really trust anything I see and only a little of what I hear. Now try and live by that code....not easy!

All in all I have been doing pretty well and in spite of some things, I feel very blessed. The fact that I am even alive and able to write this blog is a testament to that. But sometimes that depression still manages to creep in and it has nothing at all to do with my not being blessed or even feeling blessed.

Yes I struggle, yes I cry and yes at times I question even who I am...but I do not question that The Creator has a plan for my life and no matter what it is, He is in control. I may have to fight like crazy to get out of bed, too put one foot in front of another, too keep on keep in on... however He said He would never leave or forsake me. He never said it would be easy and I would not have to do anything myself. He never said I would not have pain. He never said I would not bleed. He only said He would give me strength to do what I need to do.
So while I fight the demons in my head I am going to hang on to His strength.

I pray you do as well.

Now here is a good one from our sister at Gentle Shepherd Ministry.

Love & Prayers,

Judy

BECOMING LOST

(John 10:4-5)

The one challenge I keep before me is that the memories of the wicked will be wiped out from any memory or recollection. I cannot imagine how God will be able to do such a feat, but I know He will do away with every remembrance attached to those who walked in darkness towards Him. It occurred to me that this was necessary to bring total healing to the souls of His people.

As I watch my father lose his memory, I realize that he is becoming lost to everything, while everything is becoming lost to him. Not long ago he answered the phone. I greeted him with a simple hello and specifically asked to speak to “his wife.” After the phone conversation was over between my mother and me, my father admitted that my voice sounded familiar to him, but he could not connect it to the person it belonged to.

To become lost to something means it has ceased to be familiar to us. There is no common ground or point of recognition that we can identify to. When you consider the effect of great wind storms upon the landscape, they often wipe away all familiarity. Those who lived in such areas admit that they did not even recognize where they were. Clearly, everything had become lost to them and they found themselves lost in the midst of the devastation.

My father was not able to put a face to my voice, but there is a day coming when he will not be able to recognize me at all. At that time, I will not know where he is, and he will not know who I am. Mentally and emotionally, I am bracing for such a day. Meanwhile, I watch as the disease robs him of bits and pieces of his memory.

When it comes to the destructive power of the winds of the world, we as Christians must keep God as our Rock. In order to do this, we must make sure we develop and maintain a relationship with Him. He must become familiar to us, and we must become His possession. We must be able to recognize His voice, and He must be able to recognize us as His sheep.

Prayer: Lord, the world is designed to rob us of any familiarity we have developed in our relationship with You. My request is that You show me how I can hide in You so that I never lose sight of You during the storms of life. Amen.

©2010 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

My Absolutes....

2010-11-23T10:50:00.000-06:00

My Absolutes and Definitives

I figured that since I took the time to write the last two posts I needed to make clear what are my absolutes...

I absolutely believe in and love my Heavenly Father who is the Creator of everything. I believe He has a plan for my life and that He is in control of what happens in my life. I know I have choices but since He already knows what those choices will be He has planned my life accordingly...that may sound naive but that is what I absolutely believe way down deep in my heart.

I believe in and love my Savior Jesus Christ. I believe He is the son of my Heavenly Father conceived by the Holy Spirit of God, born of a virgin and came as a man. He lived as a man and died as a man, only He lived a sinless life and was sacrificed for my sins. He conquered death and rose again and sits by the right hand of my Heavenly Father. Do I understand all of this? no... I can not even conceive how anyone could love me enough to die for me...but I know I can go to the Father through the Son and ask forgiveness and know I will receive it.

I know that demons are afraid of the name and power of Jesus and run away...the real Jesus not some fake Jesus that most religions claim. I believe that anyone who seeks Him will find him... and I also believe He knows who those people are. He calls out to His own and they hear His voice. No matter where they are, what culture they live in or what religion they belong to. His people hear His voice and come to Him. He never loses one of His own.

Thus, if you are truly His you can not backslide and be lost. If you belong to Him you might mess up and have a crazy journey but ultimately you are there and you will want to follow Him and serve Him and do the right thing in loving one another and caring for the poor, the hungry, the lost etc.... You will emulate Him because that is the way you are wired.

You will not be and can not be perfect but you will always strive to do the right thing and when you do not do the right thing, you will have a conscious and seek help in correcting the wrongs you do. You will always strive to do what is right and not want to hurt others etc. The Father puts a moral code in our very being and as His children can not escape it as it is part of who we are.

The ones who are not His do not have that in them. He says he has created vessels for good and for evil... another words we are all created for His purposes. Odds are if you are reading this and you are not his, you will not ever feel anything about hurting others or will justify it to yourself. You will not care about the consequences of your actions on others and the means will always justify the ends for you. I really pity you.

I am no preacher and no bible scholar... I am just a believer. I have hung on to that belief all my life and I know that is what has saved me and given me strength to survive this planet. I knew Him before I knew who He was, He put that in me before I was conceived... He was in my heart from the beginning. He is... and that I know way down deep. He is not a feeling...He is. That is all I can say.

Do you want scriptures to back up what I just wrote? Well they are there but writing them will not change what I already know. If you are His you already know it as well.

Now here is an interesting/good post from Gentle Shepherd and I will close today with that...

Much love through the real Jesus Christ,
Judy

BEWARE
(Luke 8:18))
In Luke 8:18 Jesus admonished people to beware of how they hear something. The truth is, people hear from three different premises. Some hear according to what will benefit them. Others hear according to what will serve their agendas. The final way to hear is from the premise of truth.
My friend, Jeannette, lost the use of much of her voice in 1995. The loss of her voice has a name. It is a condition called Spasmodic Dysphonia. This condition is when the muscles of the vocal cords experience spasms that actually cause breaks in the voice.
Jeannette’s struggle showed me how much we take speech for granted. In Jeannette’s great efforts to speak, she often struggles to get the right amount of air to say a vowel or a word. She even had to go to a speech therapist to relearn how to say certain letters.
It was also interesting to watch people’s reaction to her. Some became impatient with her, others treated her as if she was deaf and dumb, and some even acted afraid of her. After all, we communicate with our voice, and who has time to figure out something when a person cannot communicate in the way we are used to?
However, effective communication involves listening. It not only takes time to really listen to someone, but people must learn how to listen. In our fast-paced society, most people do not have the patience to listen. As a result, they are not able to discern, relate to, enter in, or really know what they are agreeing with. In fact, most people only hear what they want to hear.
It is important to remember that if you hear something from the perspective of what will benefit you, you will often overlook that which will enslave or entrap you. If you hear according to personal agendas, you will adjust your reality, causing yourself to become deluded.
Thought: It is important to remember we only hear half of what we want to hear, and can totally become deaf when it comes to what we don’t want to take heed to.

Definitives and Absolutes part II

2010-11-16T08:10:00.002-06:00

OK... so have I made a few of you uncomfortable?

Are you unsure about me now? Did I make you upset or mad? If I made you feel anything at all by my last post then please take the time to figure out why?

I wrote it to make you really think about what you believe and why you believe it.

Now with saying that I have to say this...

Yes there are definitives and absolutes...

One plus one always makes two... evil is evil... period and not much argument about that.
Love is amazing and hate can be destructive...etc... I am not here to argue about any of that. Mostly I want you all to really search within and think why you believe certain things and why you choose not to... no right or wrong answer as this is not a trick question.

I remember as a child seeing so much evil and hearing so many lies. I knew deep within my heart that murder was bad... child abuse was bad... hurting other people was bad. I knew these things to be absolutes... no argument in my soul about it.

I think the thing I am having so much trouble with now is all I heard at the pulpit being preached when I was a child and seeing those same satanists doing horrible things at rituals after hours. They also did horrible things just because they were evil and like being evil. I was often taken out of church during services to used and abused by the elders, the deacons, the people who were suppose to be serving God.

I also went to many churches after I left home and saw a lot of the same corruption and heard the same sermons preached. As a child I heard curses being flung out over the people in their 'tongue' language. I heard the same tongues being spoken at the churches who practice this belief in speaking out in 'tongues'. I tried to tell them what they were saying were curses but I was pushed aside and told I was the one being used by the 'enemy' to upset the flow of the 'spirit'.
I tried to warn people about the so-called anointed men of God .... I was told that they were Gods anointed but maybe they just got off course a little...and so excuses are always made for them. I was told I was going to be cursed for coming against these charlatans....I have been told I was the deceived one. How could these people be satanists? The Holy Spirit always flows in their meetings....sigh....??????

Who am I to argue? After all everyone knows the bible better then I do, especially these so -called 'anointed' ones. So if you choose not to believe me.... that is your right. And I have the right not not believe you. You have your definitives and absolutes and I have mine.

I do not attend any church anymore...and now I am being told I am wrong because I am forsaking assembling with my fellow ' Christians'. No... I do not think so but since I am not following protocol I am surly going to hell... backsliding... or whatever. Your absolute?

One thing I am sure about....my absolute... I can not go back into a church and join in. My assembling will have to be over the phone with believers across the country or by e-mail etc. I can not do the church thing anymore... it is too painful and it goes against what I know to be true. I do not believe in some building or membership or some preacher, etc.

OK , so.... I have been pondering a lot on the things I learned as a child. In church and out. It did a lot of damage to me no doubt. My family would be appalled at me lack of belief in most things religious. Especially the fact that I do not speak in 'tongues' anymore. I can not and be true to what I know in my heart.

I feel like a shell shocked person who went through the war.
I know 'your' church is different... I have heard this over and over...I am glad for you but I promise if I went there it would not be different for me.

So... we can argue absolutes and we can decided we are on opposite sides... or we can choose to love each other because of our differences. You can believe I am wrong...but you can also pray for me. You can also choose to love me anyway... but just do not try and convince me you have all the answers. I sure don't have them.

Now any comments????

Later,
Judy

Definitives and Absolutes?

2010-11-11T15:29:00.002-06:00

Definitives and Absolutes ?

What goes up does not always come down.

What goes in does not always come out and what goes out does not always go back in .

What may seem right can sometimes be wrong and what may seem wrong can sometimes be right.

Ones truth can be someone else's lie...

What looks good can sometimes be bad, just as what looks bad can sometimes be good.

You can not define God in religion...religion is how we define ourselves and that is always subject to change.

Every ones truth and reality is defined by the perimeters in which they live and if those perimeters change you then change your reality and what you perceive to be truth.

So, what is reality? Is there any such thing as reality? What is truth?

Is there any such thing as definitives and absolutes?

I have heard many, many people tell me you can know God by reading the bible because He inspired man to write it for Him.... Oh? Which version? How many times have you heard someone say.. " God spoke to me in His word" but when you read that same thing you got a very different message? Does that mean they are wrong or you are wrong? Does it mean God is confused?

Can we really know God? Can we really know anyone? I can know some things about others but that does not make me an expert on them... same with God.

So back to definitives and absolutes...

Can you definitively know anything? Can you absolutely know anything? What may be your truth can be someone else's lie, etc.

I know a few things only because it rings true in my spirit....but that does not mean it rings true in you. We all have to find our own truths... seek our own paths...we can share what we learn and encourage others but can we really tell someone else what to believe? Can we really say in all absolutes that we are 100% right and everyone else is wrong?

I have been so sure about some things only to find out later I was wrong. I missed a lot of chances to learn from others because I was so sure they were wrong and I was right.

I was taught that God never changes...He is always the same. If that is true then why did He create everything to change? There is not a thing on this planet or in the universe that is not subject to change... even the bible tells us that place called Heaven has had a few changes in the past. Maybe God does change... maybe that is the one thing that defines God and our relationship with Him... change.

So what is truth? Truth is defined by our own reality and how we perceive it. So how can anyone have absolute truth, especially about God?

As I was contemplating all of this today I was siting up on the mountain looking at all the beautiful changing colors through a light mist... I wrote this poem and I will close this post with that...

The mist is so fine I can hardly perceive it is there...
The coolness of the air, the veil floating past my vision.
The colors change and so do I...So do I.
Briefly the mist caresses my face with its cool fingers of silk...
Briefly the colors scream out in orgasmic intensity, shocking my senses...
only to be gone in a flash.
I often wonder was it really there at all?
Am I really here at all?
Is this reality or only a flicker of a dream...
If it is a dream then to whom does this dream belong?
I try and absorb all those colors deep into my soul...
I try and absorb the silkiness of the mist as it caresses my skin.
But I know...
As soon as I close my eyes it will be gone...
Until the next time I cross over into its reality and be allowed to share for a brief
moment, hopefully...
Once again... that piece of somewhere.

By,
Judy Rutledge

2010-10-24T19:02:00.002-05:00

I have been trying to sort out my thoughts the last few days so I could write this posting.
What is on my mind a lot this week is this.... how can all believers come together in one accord and yet still be accepted for our differences. I have really been contemplating a lot on this and felt in my heart I needed to share what was in my heart.

I have been to so many churches in my life and studied what each had to offer. Although all of the churches I went to were Christian based I did study a bit on Judaism, Mormonism and the Jehovah Witness religions. I have also studied quiet a bit on Native American Mysticism as well as older cultures and their religious beliefs and customs. I am no expert on anything however and most of my knowledge has been on the observation level more then anything.

I grew up deep in Satanism mixed with the Charismatic movement but in truth I did not get much of any Christian teachings until I was about eleven. I did not really even know who Jesus was, except the babe in a manger for most of my childhood. Easter was about dressing up, hunting eggs and eating ham. I had no idea there was suppose to be any other meaning and although I do not celebrate Easter now, that has come from my choice knowing what I do about the origins of Easter and all the occult meaning associated with it...I can not seem to get past that enough to put Christ's death and resurrection in the same category. But that is my convictions.
I admit I am having a very hard time dealing with Christmas and its origins as well but I tend to compromise a bit for my family on that one...much to the nagging in my soul. I am sure it is coming that soon I will have to make a huge choice... to follow my convictions or compromise my beliefs and separate myself even more from my family.

Following your convictions is a very hard thing to do especially when it goes against family and hard core traditions. I do not ever try and place my convictions on others but none the less others seem hell bent on placing theirs on me.

I think whenever we decide to follow another road from the 'norm' we tend to make others feel uncomfortable. I really do not know why because if they are firm in their own convictions then why would mine upset them?

So, back to where I started this post...how can believers come together in one accord and still be accepted for our differences?

My oldest daughter has been struggling with the label 'Christian' these days...I prefer to be called a 'Christ Follower' myself as I am not very Christ like for the most part and to me "Christian" denoted being just that. Since most of the people I have observed in my life who claim to be "Christian" are not even close to being like Him ... well...I do not want to be put in a place where I will offend the one whom I claim to follow.

Now I have seen and known some believers who really are Christ like and really seem to walk the walk and do much justice to that title....so I am not knocking anyone who wants to be called Christian.... I am just saying that title seems to go against my own convictions. I may find at some point in my life where those convictions will change but until then....

Anyway this post is not about what we call ourselves or whatever, it is about acceptance. In my mind and heart I have come to the belief that if we belong to the Father then none of us will be lost. He says He never loses one of His own. So if that is true then His mark is on our hearts at our creation and His call will reach our ears and touch our Spirits in His good time. Yes we have a choice to follow that call or not but HE already knows who will and who won't and we have no right to judge who that will be. Many who call themselves "saved' are more lost then the ones we deem...'Lost'.

I can not reach anyone for Christ...all I can do is serve my Lord to the best of my ability and follow the convictions He lays upon my heart. All I can do is live my life in service to Him, by loving others, forgiving others and serving where ever He opens a door. It is not my place to judge an others walk with the Creator. I have been guilty in the past of just that only to find out how wrong all my assumptions were.

So, I believe as believers we need to follow our heart convictions to the best of our ability and learn to love one another without judging and trying to change everyone to our way of believing be it what we call ourselves or what traditions we choose to celebrate or observe, what bible we read or what church we attend or if we choose not to attend at all, etc.

That is my post for this week and my challenge as well....find someone whom you deem as 'Lost' and love them for who they are. Just love them...do not try and convert them to your way of thinking, same with other believers.... love them as Christ loves us. Let the Creator do the changing in each of us. He is much better suited for that sort of thing.

Now another gem to share from Gentle Shepherds Ministry ....

Love & Prayers,
Judy

UNCAPPING THE WATERS

(John 7:38-39)

Some of the best water first has to be discovered, then uncapped for us to enjoy. These waters rest in caverns and flow freely from unseen reservoirs that lie underneath the surface of the ground. How many times do you think thirsty people have walked by or over these free-flowing waters without ever knowing it? It takes someone who knows where they are and how to uncap them.

Jesus knows all about the water that comes from heaven. He invites us to come to Him so He can uncap the rivers so that the Living Water can flow through our very souls with His life. Clearly, God has made this life available as well as freely offers it to each of us. But, we first must hear Jesus’ invitation and accept it so we can seek out and find this life in God in order to experience the Living Water.

As we consider that the Christian life entails rivers, we must realize that the current of life must not only be flowing in and through us, but we must also get into its current.. This means we need to walk out this life to be in the current of the rivers. We need to learn to live this life not according to that which is considered good by others, but because of the goodness of this life flowing through our lives to others.

It has taken years for me to understand what Jesus meant when speaking of the rivers of living waters. It was only when I stepped into the current of His life did I discover the many tributaries in which the Living Water is flowing. I realize the water of the Spirit has indeed changed the terrain of my inward life.

Prayer: Lord, in our finite mind we have no idea how incredible the current of Your life is. We often block it with fear and unbelief. However, Lord, I want it to freely flow through me and freely move me. I submit all to You. Amen.

©2010 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Taking a good look at myself....

2010-10-18T19:36:00.003-05:00

Well I went for a small hike this weekend and decided I am seriously out of shape.
It did not take long to get out of shape as just a year ago I was plugging along pretty well, at least better then I am now.

You know the 64,000. question? Why is it so hard to get in shape but so easy to get out of it?

Anyway, with all the work we did on our new home all summer and moving etc. I did not spend anytime at all walking or doing anything remotely relaxing or what I would call exercise. Sweating in three digit temps working on a house is not getting in shape on any level.

Now I know no one really cares about what kind of physical shape I might be in but I thought it was a good way to start this post off. I often think my physical life is a very real indicator of what is happening to me in my spiritual life.

When I do not take time to relax and care for my body...be it walking, hiking or just chilling in nature, I know I am not taking time to connect with my Maker on much of a healthy level either.

I spent so much time trying to get this house ready to move into I was too exhausted to even think about communicating with anyone much less my Creator.

I am not saying I did not pray or talk to the Father..I always do that as it is like breathing. But what I did not do was just take the time to chill with Him...you know bask in His love and presence find out what He wanted me to do etc. I feel guilty about that as He has blessed us so much.

I did notice however, that blessings often come in the guise of a lot of work. So do not overlook what a blessing you might have, because you do have to work so hard for it. Just thought I would throw that in for good measure.

Anyhow.... I am trying to assess where I am on both the physical level as well as the spiritual and for sure I am not satisfied with either one. So that means change...

I need to make some serious changes in my life and I need to make those changes now. Putting them off could mean a heart attack or stroke in the physical and it could mean a horrible separation from my Creator with me floundering around on this crazy planet and my life having no direction or meaning. Both are unacceptable.

It really does not take much time to get in a funk and let yourself go....physically and spiritually.

So I think I will end this post with a most timely word from Gentle Shepherds...

Love & Prayers,

Judy

OASIS IN THE DESERT

(Exodus 15:27)

Most of life seems like drudgery. If we are not trying to get through what seems to be the usual boring activities of the day, we are just trying to survive the tedious exercise of emotionally surviving each day. Some of us would like more excitement, others desire peace in the midst of ongoing uncertainties and conflicts, while others would like to rest from what seems to be increasing weariness, and then there are those who would like to run away from all of it.

In my life, it seems like I spent most of the time in the wilderness. I either found myself in a state of leanness, where I knew there was more, but had no idea as to how to discover it. Even though my life seemed full, I wondered how much of it represented activities that were not significant. As for excitement, I had long ago chalked that up to a matter of immaturity. I became acutely aware in recent years that what I preferred was not excitement, but peace and rest.

Through the years it dawned on me that most people do not know how to rest. They do not know how to emotionally land or come to a place of being still in their spirits. As you follow the children of Israel , it was obvious that after 400 years of slavery they did not know how to rest. However, God brought them out into the wilderness, where leanness could take hold of their lives. This was important if they were going to learn to rest from the labors of slavery.

I don’t know about you, but I realize much of my discontentment is due to the fact that my life is often full of that which represents vanity. There is no real substance to so much of what is demanded of me in this present world. Therefore, it is up to me to recognize the oasis God has provided along the way to get my spiritual bearings as to what I must do and what I can turn aside from to redeem my time.

Thought: People fail to realize that the greatest discontentment in their life is caused by that which enslaves them to partake of that which has no meaning or eternal substance.

©2010 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

2010-10-12T21:06:00.002-05:00

I have been trying to figure out what I wanted to write about for a while. It seems I am having a major case of writers block and that is the pits as I really miss writing on my blog.

I have also been wanting to put a book together with some of my drawings and such but that has been a very hard thing to get on with as well. I am hoping by the act of writing this tonight that maybe, it will force me out of my block and be a catalyst into maybe some brilliant insights. Yeah right! But I do like the sound of that in any case..HA!

Anyway I do need to say a huge thank you for all of you who have taken the time to e-mail me and send cards etc. of encouragement and support. That is itself has meant so much to this ole' gal. I was at a place where I just thought that maybe I was spinning my wheels and nothing I said or did was even making a difference in any life much less my own.

I have been getting a few e-mails wanting to know more about Oral Roberts University and what I experienced there and details about my abuse. I have to say have to say if you want to know then read my testimony. It is posted at my site...which is http://multijudysworld.mysite.com under the topic 'My Story'
and it is also here in the archives of this blog. I really do not want to hash all that out over and over again. I only told my story in the first place to help others validate their own memories and expose the horrible Satanism in the religious system and how it is all connected to the entertainment industry, government and just about everything else on this planet. I also wanted to give others hope that they can get out...they can overcome and they can have a life other then abuse. It is not easy but it can be done.
I did it though my faith and hope in the Creator, my Father in the Heavenly realms,and through my belief in His son Jesus Christ. I have always believed I belonged to the Creator, even before I knew about His son. And that knowing always gave me hope.

Do I understand why I had to go through so many horrible things? No. All I know is that it made me who I am today and because of what I experienced it made me a more compassionate, caring person. However with saying that I had to make the conscious choice that I did not want to be like the perpetrators who were in my life.

I can not begin to understand why our Creator has let so much evil take over this planet. I have heard a lot of opinions on that topic but none the less I figure I will know those answers when the time comes for me to know. Until then I am just trying to not let it take me down and keep on keep'in on and trusting there is a divine plan in action through all of this.

I am not here to bash religious figures or point fingers and judge. What I write about is my opinions and experiences. I do not try and make anyone believe me. If anyone chooses to think I am a liar ...oh well.

I have grown and changed a lot in the last several years since I have spoken out about my abuse growing up. Some of those changed have been quite painful... but all very much needed.

I do not take much to religion anymore..maybe that will change someday but for now I am more comfortable and much freer in my relationship with the Father by shedding all the religious baggage in my life. Does that mean you should do that? Heaven forbid!! Religion is not a bad thing in and of itself and a lot of people get so much comfort from religion and serve others in amazing ways through it.
As for me it has never worked or been a comfortable fit. I felt fake and miserable always living under the condemnation weight because I could not get it right. I hate rituals of any kind and I really do not like traditions much. None of those things really fit well on me... I often wish it did as I see people get so much comfort from all of that kind of thing, however, it never gives comfort to me. So why continue in with something that brings pain? I have had enough of that in my life. Since I have shed the religious baggage of my life I can finally breath and have a real honest relationship with my Creator for the first time in my life. But that is my walk...I am not advocating or trying to change anyone elses spiritual walk or religious beliefs.

I always stand amazed when I get a letter from a dear one telling me thank you for being so honest. I guess I will never get over the wonderment of being believed and validated myself. Such a healing balm for my soul. You few out there who love and support me no matter what mean more to me then anything I can say. I have never been so excepted and loved then by the few out there who have taken the time to let me into your lives and trusted me with your stories.

I have had a few of you give sacrificial gifts of love that I have never witnessed in my life. Total strangers who have touched this girls heart so profoundly with no motive other then to show love and compassion. You have given me back my hope...my hope and belief that there really are Lambs out there who have hearts and souls that are full of compassion and love.
You give me hope that the Creator will see the few true hearts of the Lambs and have mercy on this very broken down planet and race of broken humanity.

I think the Savior said it kind of like this...' if you want to see the Father and spend eternity in a better place, then love The Father with all your heart, mind and soul and Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'

LOVE.... that is the key!!!!

Love & Prayers Always,
Judy

P.S. Hey! I think I just broke through my writers block!!! : )

Good Day to All....

2010-08-13T08:11:00.002-05:00

I read this devotion from Gentle Shepherd Ministries this morning and felt very inclined to share it.

In a world that lack so much accountability and integrity I think this is a timely reading and something for each of us to search our hearts about.

I know in my walk of life on this planet I have always reaped what I sowed and have had to stand accountable many times for the things I have done be it good or bad. I always try and weigh the decisions I make and the things I do with how it might effect my life and others around me down the road. But that has not always insured I did the right thing. I have had to eat my words and beg forgiveness many times for thoughtless actions and blind mistakes.

But one thing I do have a very hard time with is dealing with other people who refuse to take responsibility for their lives. They spend the better part of their lives always blaming others for the mistakes they choose to make and never feel the need to apologize or seek forgiveness. They seem to live in anger and self pity always playing the victim. But that is my pet peeve....

Anyway here is the devotion...I pray it touches you as it did me this morning....

Love & prayers,
Judy

TEST OF CHARACTER
(1 Kings 11:4)

When we consider what God wants to accomplish in the landscape of our hearts, we can begin to see how He wants to bring forth perfection of heart. Such maturity points to integrity. According to 1 Kings 9:4, we know that King David had a heart that possessed integrity. It was always being fine-tuned and lined up to the ways of righteousness. Granted, he blew it, but because of his heart, he could also humble himself and owe up to the deviant ways of his character.

The problem for most people is accountability. They do not seem to possess the character to take the necessary responsibility for their personal conduct. For example, have you ever noticed how people want privileges and rights, but they do not want the responsibilities that go along with such opportunities? The reality of privileges and rights is that in essence they are opportunities to prove the level of a person’s character to see if he or she is responsible enough to handle such liberties. If people are not responsible, then privileges can be revoked and rights can be rescinded until they become matured enough to properly handle such opportunities.

Personal character just does not automatically happen. It is forged as people go against the natural preference of the self-life. Sometimes it takes everything in a person to go against the natural preference, especially since it is not going to feel good to the flesh, feed the ego of pride or justify compromise, complacency and irresponsibility.

Over the years I have learned that character or integrity is a choice. I must choose what is right in order to ensure that character is forged in my character. It is easy to speak of what is right, but it takes great fortitude to not become a coward when faced with the not-so-pleasant choices of taking a stand for what is right and showing proper discipline when needed.

For Solomon, we are told that when he was old, his wives turned away his heart after other gods. As a result, he did not end up with a perfect heart. Clearly, Solomon in his latter years did not have the resolve to withstand the unholy influences in his life. It would do us well to partake of the precious nuggets of Solomon’s wisdom, by the harsh lessons of his old age.

Thought: It is easy to show great zeal towards what is right when young, and discretion when more mature, but the true test of our character will come when we are older. We need to make sure that we have wisely established ourselves in the ways of discretion and righteousness to ensure that we are not taken out by the tides of the insidious, zealous indiscretions of our past.

©2010 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

I am Back...at least for today

2010-07-26T08:04:00.002-05:00

Hi All,

This has probably been one of the longest spans I have gone and not wrote anything. Sorry about that.

A lot of changes have come into my life as of late and I have been trying to keep up with all of them.

First off my daughters two older boys are coming to live with us... so that will bring our family of 4 up to 6 and we are excited!!! It was a real miracle for my Daughter and us! Anyway we needed to find a bigger house to fit us all and then another miracle. We found a bigger house!
It needs a lot of work and elbow grease but we are plowing through and getting it done little by little. The Lord may have given us a great house but He is sure letting us know we are going to have to work for it. But it has been a good work and very fulfilling. I have been painting ceilings and now I know I am in much better shape then I thought. I can still move!!! HA! We still have floors to fix and more cleaning and painting but once it is through it will be a great house!!!

After the past few years when it felt like nothing was working for us... and truthfully we all felt pretty done in and discouraged it seemed the Father finally said...'Enough!!!'

We are still on a major faith walk..... working on this house is being done by faith... my daughter looking for a teaching job is by faith....serving the Father is all by faith!!!

Sometimes we get very discouraged... sometimes we wonder if He is even listening at all. But one thing I do know is that through it all I could not let go of the belief He was in control and He had a plan.

When it looks like the planet is ready to implode working on a house may seem trite....however, We still have to live on this planet. We still have lives, we still have business to tend to. We still have things to do for the Father. We can not get so caught up in what could happen, what might happen and forget to live the life He gave us to live. I sometimes forget that myself.

If dooms day should arrive I can not stop that... but I can love the people who are around me and keep on keep' in on doing His work and living life to the fullest as He gave it to me to live.

One thing I realized in my Hospice work is this.... The Creator gave us life and He put that desire to live until the last breath. He put it into us to fight to live and to realize what a gift it truly is.

We may have an afterlife... but this life is very important and we should not forget that. It is a gift and everyday we get to live it is a gift.

I should have been dead if I went by the standards of my childhood however, I am not dead. He chooses the moment of our birth and He chooses the moment of our death. We choose how we will live in between.

Well I have to leave it at that today.....

Have a great life !!!!

Judy

HELLO and Wonderful Good Day!!

2010-06-28T09:01:00.003-05:00

I pray all of you out there are fine and doing well....

I have been trying to update my blog a bit as you all can see and I also added a link on my link list where you can go to my site.

I did a interview with Zeph a few weeks ago...link posted below...
http://zephreport.podomatic.com/

on June 12th so you can go there and listen in if you like. Anyway it was kind of a rant and I was feeling very overwhelmed as of late about a lot of things going on.... but I have to say I got some very wonderful e-mails and letters from some of you listeners. It was so encouraging and much needed by this sister. I was beginning to wonder if I just needed to fade away because I had said and done all I could do.

Well I know now that there is always things to be said but mostly there is things to be done. As long as we have a breath of human life in us we have things to do. None of us is an island.... I know that is a rather old cliche but it is true none the less. Sometimes I feel very much like as island on this planet but I am happy to say I am not. There are a lot of you out there who are pretty isolated like I am in the physical but together with me in spirit and faith. What a wonder that is!

I am finding that my spiritual side is always changing and expanding. What a painful process that is! Especially when all the pre-conceived ideas and programing is challenged inside of me. I am always searching for the Creators truth and seeking His will in my life however, I am finding out more and more that His will is pretty much the seed He put inside of me in the very beginning.

It is in my hopes and dreams and woven throughout all the talents I have been blessed with.

That is where it lies within all of you as well.

HELLO

2010-06-21T09:48:00.002-05:00

I have been thinking a lot about the big oil blow out in the gulf. I am sure you all have had that on your minds as well.

There are a lot of theories out there about how it happened and why and I have my own theories but this is not about theories....what I want to write about is about facts.

And the biggest fact of all is our gulf is toast along with most if not all of the coasts along the gulf. Then you have the what if and when will it start pouring out unto the Atlantic? What will happen then?

I have thought a lot about how this is effecting the people who live along that coast. People who have tourist businesses, fishing businesses, family businesses... regular people just trying to get by. I am not talking about the gambling industry and big businesses although they employ a lot of regular people who will be out of work very soon.

I have heard talk about mass evacuations... and that may be... but even if it is not so how are any of these people going to live? No income means, no income. That means more foreclosures, more homeless and more hungry. That means people will have to leave... not because anyone tells them to but because it will be necessary. People have to be able to feed their families.

What should be our response to all of this?
Well maybe those of us who are not on the coast and who are breathing and have something... well maybe we need to be praying and seeking the Father on who and how we can help when the time comes. A lot of Lambs will be displaced and coming our way. Are we going to turn our backs and look away or are we going to hold out our hands and help? Maybe the Father has a plan to send some of His own to us. Maybe we are to show His compassion and do as He leads. It should always be as HE leads....but remember all lambs are not always dressed and look like we think they should be. They can come in many shapes, sizes and colors....

Our planet is changing by the minute so I think that means we should be as well. We have responsibilities to show compassion and help others.

This also means that if you are a displaced person you have a responsibility as well. You are responsible to show gratitude for those who show you compassion. To work when you can to help those who help you, by chipping in whenever and where ever is needed. To not freeload... to not take advantage, to not expect anyone to give you anything and to be grateful to the Father for providing when they do.
We are all in this together and we all need to remember .....we need each other.

Be wise and prudent always seeking the Father for discernment... so we will not waste our resources on tares but to use them wisely on Lambs for His glory.

Love & Prayers,
Judy

I'm Done In....

2010-06-13T08:14:00.002-05:00

I think this past week has been one of the hardest I have encountered in a very long time.

I tried to write a new post earlier but I just could not get it together...

I am beginning to think I might be fighting depression a wee bit.

Right now my husband Tim is out looking for bodies lost in a flash flood a few days ago in a nearby camping park. You may gave heard about it on the news. This will be his second day out. I am very proud to have a husband who cares so much about helping others and is not in it for the recognition... he does it because this it who he is. I was born into a world where I grew up not seeing but a very few people who actually cared about others or had compassion.... Tim has been a major GOD send in my life. He has been the one person who has made me want to be a better person and encouraged me to reach beyond myself and not give up.

I lost a patient this past week.... that person is in a better place I have no doubt because at least they are not in pain, but it was a very hard death to witness. As I have written in the past... I have been a Hospice volunteer this past year. It has been a year of healing and growth for me. It has also been very painful. I am taking some time off from Hospice...however I will still help two patients and their caregivers just not as a Hospice volunteer.

I am trying to decide where I need to go with my life next. I am contemplating writing a book and incorporating my artwork. It is something I have wanted to do for a very long time, however; I am wondering in the light of this crazy falling a part planet if that is a worthy undertaking. I mean what is the point of another book in a world full of useless books? If I am doing this for me... then is that even the right thing to do? I feel so confused about what to do these days with so much needing to be done out there. I feel almost guilty about even thinking about such a project.

Maybe that is weight from my past pulling me away from anything that is even remotely close to my heart. I just do not know... and the Father is so quiet these days or I am so deaf... I can not seem to get any leading on what I need to do. But then maybe He is the one putting this on my heart? Maybe this depression that is trying to settle in is because I am not doing the thing I am being called to do.

So.... I need your prayers out there. I would love the support of my brothers and sisters in the faith. I am all done in right now but I have no doubt I will pull out of this in due time. I am not one to stay down. The Father did not wire me that way. : )

Later,
Judy

Judas

2010-05-07T19:52:00.002-05:00

Judas......

I have heard a lot of stories about Judas Iscariot and his betrayal of Jesus. It is always the same....

He sold the Son of Man for thirty pieces of silver. He betrayed the Savior and was a very bad man and he hanged himself and went to hell. Now, that was what I was always taught in church.

But what I never really heard was that he was very remorseful.... he was repentive and he admitted his sin even to returning the silver to the men he betrayed the Savior too. He was not a man who walked away from what he did feeling good and taking his money and partying it up afterwards with out a thought of regret or without a painful conscious. It even says in one verse that Satan entered him at one point before the betrayal. Could it be that he was chosen for this horrible job? Could it be that this was his destiny? Could it be that maybe before this ever happened and when Jesus chose him as a disciple he really had no clue he would do this horrible thing? Peter never thought he would betray the Savior before he did it... but he did.
Judas was in such agony over what he did that he fell into despondency and he killed himself.

Does that sound like the actions of a person who is evil and has no heart or conscious? Does that sound like a person with no worth? Like a person worse off then any of us? A person that Christ himself would turn away from?

I know, I know I have heard all my life how that if a person commits suicide he can not be forgiven and is faithless.

Well I have a confession to make... I have tried to commit suicide before. Was it a lack of faith on my part? Did I not trust God to see me through?

All I know is at the place in my life where I got to this point it was not because I was not calling out to God and had no faith. I was in major pain. I did not so much want to die as much as I just did not know how to live with the pain I was feeling in my heart, mind and body. It was just more then I could cope with. I have talked to many others who have been at this point in their lives and they say the same thing. It was only by the grace of God I did not succeed in doing myself in at that time. Sure wasn't for lack of trying.

Now another issue concerning ol Judas.... the issue of doing something totally out of character and wrong. Haven't any of you ever done something really wrong and really bad and then afterwards stood backed shocked at what you just did? You stand there thinking " what did I just do? What is wrong with me? Oh God, what HAVE I DONE???!!!" Then guilt hits.... remorse hits... you feel as if you are the most evil person to ever step foot on this planet and you have no idea why you just did such a horrible thing. You look in the mirror and see a stranger and wonder how you are ever going to make this right and be forgiven, much less be able to forgive yourself.

If this has never happened to any of you... well you are a much better person then I am. I don't know about others but I have the most guilty conscious of any person I know. I can not get away with anything I know in my heart that is wrong without feeling remorseful and repentive. And I can say in all honesty I have done some pretty bad things in my life I am not proud of and am still shocked about even today that it ever came to my mind to do them. I am human... I live in a flesh body and I screw up and sometimes I have screwed up big time.

So, you might say..." Well yeah Judy but you did not betray Jesus Christ." Well yeah... I have. I have betrayed Him every time I hurt someone. Every time I reacted and lashed out in anger at someone. Every time I did not forgive someone. Every time I could have helped someone and walked away. Every time I was selfish and self centered. Every time I miss judged someone. Every time I gossiped and every time I labeled someone because they did not conform to some stupid ideal I might have had at that time.

I have been a Judas many, many times.... and I even tried to kill myself. Just because I did not succeed does not make me better then he was.

I think Judas is an example for us... I think he was chosen. I think he screwed up big time and I think he was forgiven. I do not think he is burning in some dark horrible place... even if I even believed in such a place.
I find it kind of comforting that if Judas can be forgiven... then so can I. GOD is never shocked by what we do... and He never turns away from a truly repentive heart. At least that is how I see it.....

When your Enemy is your Friend.....

2010-04-26T16:28:00.002-05:00

Nobody likes to be accused of things they have not done. Nobody likes to be betrayed by someone whom they considered a friend. Nobody likes to be hurt by a family member whom they are suppose to be able to trust.
If you fall into any of these categories then this message might be for you.

This is out of a devotional book called 'The word for you today' and that is all I know about it however, I thought it was another worth passing on message....

So this is for all of you out there who have been hurt, betrayed and abused.

When your enemy is your friend...

There's no pain like betrayal and none of us are exempt.The Psalmist laminated " My best friend, the one I trusted...has turned against me" Ps.41:9 NLT . The truth is, God allows certain people into our lives to facilitate His purposes- even ones like Judas whom Jesus called 'Friend' and said," Do what you came for." Before Jesus was betrayed He told all the disciples, 'I know whom I have chosen...that scripture my be fulfilled.", " He who eats bread with me has lifted up his heel against me." Jn 13:18 NKJV .
He could have fulfilled His destiny without John the beloved disciple, or impetuous Peter who was always ready to defend him, but it was Judas' kiss of betrayal that ushered Him into His destiny.

So you can't always avoid getting hurt, however; God can give you the grace to reevaluate the situation and realize that the person you thought was your enemy, was a friend in disguise. God will never permit His plans for us to be sabotaged by somebody else's actions. When you're under His shield of protection He will allow your Judas to go only so far and no further. As a child of God His purposes govern how much damage others can do to you. Once you understand that, it lessens the fear that stems from getting involved again when you have been burned.

The Psalmist said: "It was good for me to be afflicted, so that I might learn your decrees." Ps 119:71 NIV. God Loves to turn our negatives into positives and while none of us enjoys suffering, it takes us to levels of understanding that, left to our own devices we would never reach.

So I hope this little devotional blessed you like it did me....
Love & Prayers,
Judy

Good Morning All....

2010-04-20T08:00:00.002-05:00

Well I have been forced to take a rest... because I have been sick. Icky, yucky sick.
Yeah I did all the right things.. took my supplements, herbs and teas etc... but none the less this has been a hard fight to get well.

Do you all believe in the chem-trail phenomena? Well if you do then I have to say I think that is what got me this time. I was outside working in the yard all weekend under fake clouded skies watching that junk pour out of planes right before I got sick. My husband got sick as well and several others in our area with the same yucky thing. All respiratory related... sore throat etc. My daughters allergies ramped up and my grandsons ears started giving him heck.
I am having a very hard time not believing all that junk in the sky did not have something to do with how sick I have been.

I have not been able to go to work or sit with Hospice patients for over a week... what a bummer!!!
But I am on the mend! Still sound like a frog and hacking like I have a 3 pack a day smoking habit (no I do not smoke!) but I am on the mend none the less.

So I was forced into a rest..however it was not at all very restful. But it did give me pause for thought during this forced down time.

In the worst of my illness when in the dark of the wee hours of the morning... I found myself sitting in a chair trying to breath and maybe snooze a little, however; snoozing did not happen and coughing was ripping at my chest and throat and my body felt as if all my bones had been broken, all the while I was praying... "GOD please either heal me or take me out of here!!!" I do not do sick very well at all!!! I am a whiny baby and I have no tolerance for feeling bad.
I have spent way too much time on this planet in pain...fighting to live and fighting to survive..so when I get sick I get angry and whiny. I hate to admit that but it is the truth.

Lately I have found myself getting mad at God a lot... always asking 'Why?' Why all the challenges? Why do I have to fight all the time? Why is my life always going from one challenge to another without a break?

I hear myself crying out to my God in pain and frustration and often in anger and disappointment.
GOD can I not at least have one thing go easy for me? I am trying to serve you... I am trying...

So I gripe and I whine and I rant and when I am through all I have left to say is... 'Father I do not know how not to believe in you. I do not know how to give up. I do not know how to quit believing that you have a plan for my life and this whole crazy planet. I do not know how to not keep loving you and trusting you even when I do not feel you and even when I do not understand.'

So that is my word for today...

In spite of everything... I do not know how to not believe... Thank the Lord He put that kind of faith inside of me... what a gift! And to think He loves me in spite of all my complaints and frustrations.

Guess what? He loves you too!

Trying to Rest?

2010-04-08T08:31:00.003-05:00

Today I have something I am going to post about rest....but before that I just have to say I am not very good achieving that goal

It seems like every time I seek some sort of rest and relief from the cares of this world more junk gets dumped upon me. No matter how hard I try and step back to take a deep breath and chill.... well lets just put it this way challenges arise.

As a child trying to survive all the abuse heaped upon me I dissociated to be able to find a refuge in my mind. If I had not had the ability to do that no doubt I would have not survived.

Now many years later and a whole lot of healing later, dissociating is not an option anymore. I have to meet life's junk head on. So, now the challenge is how to deal with it and survive with my brain still intact. Believe me it is a challenge!

I have heard people tell me what a blessed life I have.... well any life is blessed in my opinion just because it has managed to survive anything on this planet. Maybe the word is miraculous?

My life has always been hard and it still is.... I have had blessed moments but even then blessings always come with a price.

Do I sound cranky and bitter? Well I can be cranky and yeah sometimes even bitter not to mention angry. I have to admit I do not always run around praising God for allowing me to be here and all that is my life. Oops... did I admit that? Now what? Is the sky going to fall?

So with saying that I have to say this.... I do not always rest well, much less in peace. Am I a failure? Am I lacking faith?

It does often seem to me that just when it feels like I am getting on my feet and brushing off my pants from the last fall I find myself on my butt again. Am I ever going to learn? Will I ever get this? In my opinion.... probably not. So the sixty four thousand dollar question is.... how do I live with this and get any rest at all and survive this life?

The only thing I know is written below.... and I am so not there yet. I am a work in progress...

THE PLACE OF REST

(Matthew 11:29)

Most people have their idea of rest. For me it is to stop all other activities and read a good book. However, in this fast-paced world, it can be hard to stop. The reason it can prove to be hard to stop is because of the momentum that often drives people. For example, the momentum that drives me is time is short and I want to finish all the projects that I have started in relationship to my spiritual life. In reality such work may not be completed because there will always be demands or responsibilities tugging at each of us.

When we think of rest, we often relate it to a state of rest. The reality of true rest is that we must come to a place of rest in order to experience an inner state of rest. The world is not only one big pigpen of vanity, but it is battleground where the soul finds itself in constant conflict.

The motivation or momentum behind this conflict is selfishness. Man wants his way so that his emotional state will experience joy. He wants to be right so that his mind will not be caught up with uncertainty and doubt. He wants to ensure that his will is carried out so that all can be well with his world. However, man finds himself at odds with those in his world that are also motivated by their selfishness.

Jesus understood this conflict well. He invited everyone to come to a place of rest. In summary, come to Him and He will give each of us the vital rest for our soul that so many are seeking in the midst of the rubble and tombs of the world. Remember, the person of Jesus is an actual place. He is the Prince of Peace, and the only one capable of bringing rest to our restless and tormented souls.

Thought: The real rest we often seek is the rest from the momentum caused by personal demands, expectations, responsibilities, and turmoil of life.

©2010 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

I am Back....

2010-04-05T07:52:00.002-05:00

Hello All....

Well I am finally back from a much needed break although I have not been resting at all. Today I am taking the day off from most of my endeavors and just staying home. I have been running my self in circles with Hospice and such and am just plain tired. A good tired but tired none the less.

So what is new? Well let me see....
It is spring now and it looks like it has kicked in for real... pollen and all. However I am really enjoying listening to all the birds and soaking up all the colors springing forth from this tired old earth. It amazes me how this planet manages to push out so many wonderful things in spite of mans determination to destroy so much of it.

It has been about a year since that horrible tornado hit Mena... still a lot of gaps where trees once stood as well as empty lots where houses once sat. A lot of people left Mena after the tornado. Many just rolled up their sleeves and plowed on rebuilding and replanting, but the scars are there reminding us how life as we know it can change in a matter of minutes.

I am not a seer or anything but I do not think it takes one to realize how fast things are changing. In my mind I do not see anything remaining the same on this planet with life as we have known it, being here much longer. The fact that it has lasted this long is amazing to me.

I wonder about the great 'American Dream' and wonder if it was more like the great 'American Illusion' ?

We as humans do not learn our lessons very well and always seem bent on making the same mistakes over and over. I hear people say how some groups of people had a great way of life until the white man came... but in reading about our past on this planet.... well it seems to me all humans have the same flaws. It does not matter what color,what culture, what religion.... humans are what they are. The good, the bad and the ugly. I see no superior race of people at all. People are just people....

I do believe however that some people are evil to the core and have no good in them, period. On the flip side I believe there are some people who seem to have a loving nature that just flows out from them and blesses everyone in their wake.

So what does any of this matter? I guess it is my same old rant.... don't start chucking out everyone and labeling everyone by their race, religion or culture. We all have a lot to learn from each other... we even need to learn from the bad stuff.

This planet knows that... it takes the fire and starts over by soaking up the nutrients from the ashes and using that fire to refresh the ground.

So during this time on our planet when the fires are getting more frequent and much hotter, look at it as a time of renewing. This is a time when everything that is rotten in going to purged so wonderful new things can come again.

Spring is coming to planet earth... to our solar system.... to this race of people called humanity.

John 3:16 (Amplified Bible)
16For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten ([a]unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.

John 12:46-48 (Amplified Bible)
46I have come as a Light into the world, so that whoever believes in Me [whoever cleaves to and trusts in and relies on Me] may not continue to live in darkness.

47If anyone hears My teachings and fails to observe them [does not keep them, but disregards them], it is not I who judges him. For I have not come to judge and to condemn and to pass sentence and to inflict penalty on the world, but to save the world.

48Anyone who rejects Me and persistently sets Me at naught, refusing to accept My teachings, has his judge [however]; for the [very] message that I have spoken will itself judge and convict him at the last day.

One thing I am beginning to understand in a very small way is that the Son comes to people in very different ways... and His name is not always Jesus... but He speaks to our spirits and our spirits know His voice...and if we are His.... we listen and follow. He never loses one of His own.... NEVER!!!

Love & Prayers,
Judy

Ok....

2010-03-23T19:54:00.002-05:00

OK.... you all have encouraged me... I will hang in here but just take a short break...

Then maybe I will get some fresh inspiration....

I am feeling much better so I know you all are praying for me...

Thanks so much!!!

Love & Prayers,
Judy

So what do ya think?

2010-03-18T20:41:00.002-05:00

I am starting to poop out...
Maybe I have just run out of things to say.. or maybe I do not need to say anything else?
Maybe my job here is done?
I started working on my website but really my heart in not in it right now. I am not a webmaster and my website is pretty shabby. I do have my story wrote there but I am beginning to think it does not matter anymore, that maybe I have said all I can say and the ones who needed to hear it already have.

I do not hear much from anyone anymore and I think that might be a sign that I should be off to other things.
What else can I say about this stuff anyway?

But I do thank you all who have supported me...
I will be praying about it... and I will let you all know before I shut this thing down.

Maybe I am just tired...

Love & Prayers,
Judy

Questions???

2010-03-12T07:22:00.002-06:00

Here I am again always the question girl.
One thing I am sure about is the only way to learn anything is to ask questions. So, that is what I do best. It does not mean I always get answers, truthfully I usually end up with more questions.

So here is my question of the week....

Why is it when people are talking about their faith and beliefs and you do not agree with them they tend to get upset and at times even angry?

Does it not make sense that if a person is sure about their beliefs and at peace with them then they would not feel threatened by other people's faith and belief systems no matter what they are?
Or is it that some people are so sure that they are right everyone else needs to believe the way they do?

I have the most problems with Christians....
If I say I do not go to church they automatically disregard anything I might say or believe because I am not in a church. It is like I can not have a relationship at all with my Creator and Savior if I am not attending a church. I have had Christians get almost angry with me for just this one thing.
I have had that scripture about not forsaking the assembling of the fellowship or whatever it is thrown at me like some kind of commandment or maybe the main one?
I fellowship with like minded people all the time, only it might be over the phone or in someones home or in a restaurant. I just do not happen to believe it has to be in a specific religious building. Does not the Lord tell us that He is there where two or more are gathered?

I do not remember anything about having to have someone who went to seminary being qualified to lead a group and he was the only one who knew anything. I do not remember the Father telling me that I have to belong to an organized religion to find Him or serve Him.

Christians are so quick to bash non-believers... and that is usually anyone who is not in their church.... They condemn Muslims for the very things they do themselves. Am I a Muslim? No... however I do not consider myself a Christian anymore either...
Do I condemn Christians and other religious groups for their beliefs? No... that is not my place or job. I do not have anything against Christians other then always being put down by them and treated like I am a leper... or a stupid person or, the worst sinner on the planet and bound for eternal hell fires that only they can lead me away from.

I do not feel threatened by other peoples faith systems.... I do not feel the need to try and convert them over to mine either. I believe the Fathers calls each of us in His own way... if I am asked about my beliefs I will talk about them..however, I feel my relationship is a personal one between my Father and me. It is not defined by religion...

Religion has probably done more to separate people from the Creator of All then anything on this planet.... as well as seperate people in general. Wars have been fought because of religion.

I am not threatened by church goers... I think that if that is your conviction then it is a good thing for you... but it has never been a good thing for me. I have felt more freedom and closer to my Savior since I left the religious front then ever before. But that is my experience.... that might not be yours...

I am not going to tell you I am right and you are wrong.... I can not read your mind or your heart...that is not my job and I would not want it if it was.

So please.... do not try and read mine....

And please do not be offended when I say I am not a Christian anymore... I am a believer and a follower of the Creator of All.... lets just leave it at that. I am not offended it you say you are a Christian... I have a lot of Christian friends and I love them all, right along with my non-Christian friends.

Seems like we are to love one another.... Hummmmm, what a concept.

Later,
Judy

So how is everyone out there????

2010-03-06T08:24:00.002-06:00

Hi all...

I have kind of slowed down on my posts as of late..guess you might have noticed?

So many changes in me and so much has happened so fast that I do not even know where to start.
Anyway here is the thing...
One thing I am beginning to understand is that the more I learn about anything the more I realize I don't really know much at all.

I have listened to a lot of people talk about their faith and it seems to me that the more I listen to people talk about their beliefs and their relationship with the Father the more I am beginning to understand how really personal it is for each of us. How can anyone really say that they know all the truth when everyone has their own truth? I mean it seems everyone even interprets scripture differently.... so who is right?
Well maybe I am a bit overstepping it here however, I know that the Father really does meet us where we are. He is no respecter of persons... he sent His Son for all of us. All that are His. I just happen to believe that some on this planet are not His and never have been and never will be. Do I know who they all are? No, but I have my suspicions now and then. I suspect you all do as well.

I also know the The Father has a sense of humor....
I had a patient pass away a couple of weeks ago... he was so neat and I really got to care for him and love him a lot. He was 73. He talked a lot about his life, the good parts as well as the bad, he made no excuses and he seemed at peace with his past for the most part. He was a retired military man and had been all over the world, seen many interesting things and had four children he was very proud of. He was a biker and a very humorous man.
I got the honor of being with him before he passed to hold his hand and just comfort him in his transition. Probably the most spiritual and emotionally moving experience I have ever had.
We had many discussions about the Lord and his beliefs and I was at peace with the relationship he had with the Creator..I had no doubt he would be OK when he passed on and we would meet again.

At his funeral when the preacher was giving an overview of his life he mentions that my friend was a 32 degree Mason/Shriner.... I almost started laughing out loud. I said to the Lord in my mind "you knew when you put me with him where he had been and who he was...you also knew just what I needed to help in my healing and forgiveness...for all those Masons who had hurt me in the past... you just showed me the power of forgiveness and how far yours goes... Thank You Father!!!" What a sense of humor our Creator has..... he never allowed me to know my friend was a Mason.... He wanted me to love him for who he was and see his heart without any preconceived notions....isn't that amazing? He knew how that would make me laugh and cry all at the same time. His love and compassion goes without boundaries....

My friend did not have a masonic funeral.... all he wanted was a military funeral... to be cremated and his ashes buried beside his twin brother... simple, to the point and a very great example of who he was.

This one man in such a short period of time managed to change my life in a very profound way. My Father knew just what I needed, what my friend needed and He is very much in control of my life.
He is in control of yours as well....never doubt it.

Peace & Love,
Judy

Morning and Good Week....

2010-03-01T06:27:00.002-06:00

I have had a very intense week....so that is why I have not written anything for several days.
But it has not been a bad week.. just one of reflection and learning and most of growing in the Lord.
I realize I have a long way to go but after last week I can finally see it is not how fast we proceed but the journey itself, this gift we are given called life.

Blessings in your journey, blessings in your gift of life ....
Judy

THE REVEALING QUESTION
(Genesis 3:8-9)

The fact that God chose insignificant man towards whom to extend His unfailing love is incredible. In light of the universe, the smallness and frailty of our humanity constantly reminds us we do not even represent a dot. We are clearly confined to a small world that has been reduced to a mere point of insignificance in the scheme of things, yet God sees each of us.
In His commitment towards us, God continues to ask the same question, “Adam (man) where are you?” The origin of this question is not based on man becoming lost to God; it is because man had lost his way to and with God. Without God, man no longer possesses the source of true life or light (understanding). He now resides in the darkness of ignorance, rebellion and death.
It is clear that Adam knew he was in the Garden of Eden, but he did not realize he had lost his way in experiencing the life his Creator had designed for him. It was a life of sweet communion and fellowship with God. In his fallen condition, Adam stood naked before his Creator, unable to come to Him without the fear of being exposed and judged in his guilt and shame.
As I consider the world around me, it is easy to see the results of Adam and Eve’s wrong decision in the garden. They decided to risk sacrificing the life they had with God and turn to their own way. Because of that decision, the presence of God departed, His glory lifted, and life ceased to be. As a result, people are now entangled in sin and death.
This is why Jesus came. He is considered the second Adam. Where death passed down from the first Adam to all mankind, grace and life are able to come from the second Adam to those who believe.

Thought: The first Adam lost it in a garden that was void of toil; but, the second Adam secured victory over the flesh in the Garden of Gethsemane, paid the price for redemption in the midst of the barren garden of the world, and rose up from a garden tomb to secure eternal life for us.

©2010 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.
www.gentleshepherd.com
Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

What is Hell?

2010-02-21T10:07:00.001-06:00

I thought that might be a great opener for this posting. This has also been on my mind a lot as of late in my struggles for truth verses everything I was ever taught in church.

What I am going to say about hell will probably not set to well with some of you out there but since this is my blog and this is what I believe …. Well you can believe any way you want that is your right and mine as well. So with saying all of that here I go.

My belief is….. I do not believe in hell…. at least not the one where God sends bad people to burn in agony for eternity. Besides how do we determine who is bad and who is good and why would a Creator who loves us and created us the way we are with a sin nature, with many shortcomings and imperfections damn us to eternal torment because we could not and did not make the grade?
I spent many years afraid of GOD and His hell. I was afraid I was always going to fail Him and disappoint Him.
I tried not to do bad and wrong things only to turn around and do what I was trying so hard not to do.
You might say….’well you have Jesus in your heart… so you can ask for forgiveness and make it right.’
Ok, ok…. let’s look at this another way….
What if…. Your child was a rebellious sort and ran off with a bad gang doing stuff that was hurting other people? Would you damn them to eternal torment and make sure they were punished forever?
No…. you would not. No good, loving parent in their right mind would do that to their child no matter how bad they might seem.
Would you threaten that child with eternal punishment if they refused to love and obey you?
Well I would hope not. Who wants someone to love them out of fear?
You might say….’ Well GOD is a just God and His ways are not ours.’ And you are probably right… however, if His ways are not ours why do you put Him in a box of and eternal tormentor?
If I can forgive my tormentors am I any better than GOD?
Do I want justice? Sure… who doesn’t…. but do I hate so much that I would want anyone or anything to suffer eternal torment on my account?

I painted a picture a long time ago that I am just now understanding. I wish I still had that painting although I do have a drawing of it and if I can figure out how to post it later I think I will…. Anyway this is what it is about…
I am floating on a flimsy legless chair, naked, hovering over flames of hell lapping at my feet. There is a shaft of light coming out of the sky giving me some hope I might be rescued, however I am much closer to the flames then I am the light. I titled that picture ‘between Heaven and Hell’. I always felt I was much closer to the flames then any salvation of that light.

In every church I ever went to I was led to believe that I was always much closer to the flames then the light and to get closer to that light I needed to earn my way… even though the church taught grace… they always followed up with you have to earn your way… talk about a contradiction? I was always taught to fear God and His eternal hell of pain if I did not follow the rules and every church I went to seemed to have a different set of rules to follow.

Personally I do not want to follow a GOD of eternal torment…. I do not want to serve a GOD out of fear. I want my GOD to be forgiving and fair and I want to serve Him out of Love, period. I want to follow my heart and do the right thing that is written in my heart already because I belong to a Creator who designed me in the first place and knows me better that anyone, even me. My GOD is never surprised when I make mistakes and is not sitting on some far away thrown waiting to bash me and then roast me in agony when I upset Him.

Since GOD created everything then did He not create sin? Did He not create good and evil? On my….. Have I said something offensive? The thing is this… either He is the creator of all or He is not. Either He is in control or He is not.

If He has a plan… and that plan included good and evil… then just maybe He might also have a plan for the ones who seem to not get it in this life. GOD is never surprised at anything we do. He sees the front from the back eternally. He creates whatever HE wants for whatever reason… He says His own know Him and hear His voice… do you not think a person in the middle of the Amazon jungle without the aid of a bible and a so-called missionary can be reached by the call in his spirit from the Creator of all? He might call Him something different then you and I do but how can you possibly know it is not the same Creator? The same Savior? Just because your church and religion tell you that does it make it so? How can anyone honestly say that only a Christian can be saved and everyone else will burn in eternal flames of torment forever? Give me a break…

Every denomination of the Christian faith came out of the Church of Rome….do your homework… they all claim they are the only real way to GOD and truth… they all claim they have divine revelation, they all base that on their brand of the bible… they all condemn everyone who does not agree with them, to eternal torment.

Now do I think all the people who go to church or believe in a certain way will go straight to hell and if they do not listen to me they are doomed? No- way!
If you are happy with your brand of religion and you feel in your heart that is the thing to do, I am not going to tell you to run to the nearest exit. We all have brains and hearts and we need to do what we feel we have to do.

As for me?
Well since I let go of the eternal hell torment thing…. And realized my Creator put HIS DNA in me and created me the way I am. And since I realized He is in control… well I can finally breathe without feeling fear all the time. I can really enjoy my relationship with my Creator out of love and know His code is in me and I can follow that code, and so with having that code in me… I can count on the fact the He will always show me the right thing to do in every situation and even when I mess up, He is not surprised and disappointed but is there to show me a better way the next time.

I think that is pretty simple… I think He makes it simple. I think man makes it hard.

You can have all your rules, fear and eternal torment… as for me I choose freedom in and through the one, who created me, knew me before I was in my mother’s womb and is in control of my life and is never surprised at anything I might do or say. He put His love in me and He loves others through me and He is has written His code in my heart and I have the assurance I will never disappoint Him because He already knows me so well.

Blessings in and through the one who Created you...
Judy

Who Is Multijudy?

2010-02-17T19:29:00.002-06:00

I have been told by a few loving friends that I need to change my handle...
And I have given this a lot of thought.
So here is my conclusion...

I am not dissociative anymore... hooray!!!!!!!!... but does that mean I am not Multijudy anymore?
Well I am not a Multijudy that is dissociative however, I am Multijudy in that I have many facets to my personality.
I am a child of the Creator of All ...
I am a wife...
I am a mother...
I am a Meme...
I am a friend...
I am a daughter...
I am a sister...
I am an artist...
I am a writer...
I am a survivor...

I am many things in this one body and all of those things make me who I am... and that makes me Multijudy.

So I am going to keep my handle.
I think you all can understand... : )

Much love and until later....

Multijudy

Some more Food for Thought....

2010-02-11T09:00:00.004-06:00

As you all know my struggles is always with truth verses all the lies I was taught to believe...My walk with the Creator may not be pretty but it is real and about as raw as it can get.

One thing I have discovered in this walk is that truth seems to always be hidden in plain sight through layers of fear and conditioning. Peeling off those layers is painful and at times tedious but very necessary if you want to be free from bondage.

Since I have been writing this blog and doing interviews many layers have peeled of this ol girl... and with the many that have peeled there always seem to be more that needs peeling. I am beginning to see how this is a life long process... and how it is always an individual process for each of us.

Another thing I am beginning to understand is that truth can be found only within ourselves through the Creator of All. Oh, we might gleam some gem from others as it will resonate within our spirits as truth, however I really believe HE speaks to our spirits directly. HIS truth is planted in our DNA and as we seek the Real Christ... who is within us... I think that opens up our DNA of spiritual truth.

You know I prayed a while back that I wanted truth even if it killed me... I know a few other who dared to pray that also. Anyway what I am seeing is this.... it is killing me... it is killing the parts of me that has kept me separated from my Creator and kept me in fear and bondage most of my life. I am also discovering that there is a whole lot more in me that needs to die away....and that with each thing that dies a little more of me is set free to be what the Creator intended when He created me in the first place.

But then there is this part of me that tries to resist all the tearing away... lets face it, even that bad parts of us is at least familiar and at the most comfortable. Maybe not good, maybe not right and mostly makes us feel like crap... but it is familiar and isn't that the reason most of us resist change? The fear of the unknown?

But in saying all of that... I want truth and freedom more then I want the comfort of familiar. Because in my life it has not been all that comforting... only confusing and full of bondage.

Maybe my DNA is waking up? Maybe that is what has been resisting the system of things all along....thus the always questioning Judy...

Peace & Love,
Judy

Now here is a bit of a Gem.....read on...

WHAT SPIRIT ARE YOU OF?
(Luke 9:53-56)

The biggest semicolon in God’s presentation is the concept of spirit. Something is always motivating us. What motivates us is unseen, but its influences will eventually become obvious to those who encounter us. Even though what we may end up pursuing does not look inappropriate or wrong, the fruits of it may leave a bitter taste in the mouth of those who come in contact with you.
What spirit are you of is not an afterthought, but a complete challenge that will connect a person to environment, attitude and fruits. Peter’s overzealous enthusiasm to rebuke Jesus for speaking of His death would seem reasonable enough to the hearer or reader; however; Jesus turned around reciprocated as well as exposed who was behind Peter’s rebuke (Matthew 16:21-23). When James and John were ready to call fire from heaven down on the Samaritans, it seemed like a logical conclusion, but Jesus stated they did not know what spirit they were of. He had not come to destroy men, but to save them.
Judas’ confession of his betrayal of an innocent man (Jesus) seemed noble enough. However, the religious leaders had no intention of receiving his confession; therefore, he went out in despair and hung himself (Matthew 27:1-8).
The spirit behind these men may have been unseen, but the fruits that often stand by themselves have a common connection because of the spirit in operation. Separation at such points not only calls for a pause to consider what would follow as to the possible results of our actions, but it must make the right connection to ensure the integrity of how someone responds, interprets or handles a matter.
O ur examples in the previous paragraphs show us how limited and narrow our understanding can be about a matter. When we do consider it, there is usually a self-serving or critical spirit behind our critique or criticism of it. In such cases the semicolon is missing or there has been a failure to examine what the real spirit or motivation is behind us.
Is God trying to put a semicolon in your life when it comes to separation from the unholy, making connections to conditions or identifying the spirit behind your fruits and activities? It would serve each of us well if we would truly find the common ground with what is not seen, can be conveniently ignored, and what might not be convenient or popular.

Prayer: Lord, You try to use semicolons in our lives, but we often refuse to see the connection between such matters. Lord, help us to see Your punctuation in matters so that we can understand it, then make the right connection and come out with the right conclusion. Amen.

©2010 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.
http://www.gentleshepherd.com/
Questions or comments welcome. Email: http://us.mc800.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=ministry@gentleshepherd.com

I made a 41????

2010-02-09T07:41:00.004-06:00

If you didn't catch my post yesterday please go back and take a look... now here is a real gem for today...

: ) Judy

--------------------------------------------MountainWings A MountainWings Moment#1309 Wings Over The Mountains of Life-------------------------------------------------
I Made A 41============
Perhaps the only test score that I remember is the 41.I was in high school. The class was taught by one of the two teachers that impacted me most, Mr. Bales. The other teacher was Mrs. Drew from the seventh grade. It's amazing how I can remember from over 30 years ago my two most impacting teachers.
The eighth grade. It was a time when I, like most, didn't know what I was to be in life. The drama of that time of youth was simply get through school and make the long walk home.
There are some things that will still be like the eighth grade when you get to be eighty.
The test was the final for the class. I remember anxiously waiting as Mr. Bales passed out test after test. It was a rather difficult test. I didn't know how well I had done but I knew there were things on it that I didn't know.
The air whooshed around the pages as it made a gentle sound plopping down. It was a rhythm as each student received their test - plop, plop, plop.
I heard groan after groan that accompanied the plops.I could tell by the groans that the grades weren't looking good.
Mr. Bales dropped the stapled pages on my desk.
There in big red numbers, circled to draw attention,was my grade.
41
Groan!!!
I moved my paper where it wasn't in plain view, a 41 is not something that you wanted your classmates to see.
After the final plop, Mr. Bales stood behind the worn desk thathad stood guard over countless students before me. He addressed the none too jubilant class.
"The grades were not very good, none of you passed, so I will have to consider grading on a scale," Mr. Bales announced.
"The highest grade in the class was a 41, so all of you flunked," were the final words that I remember.
A 41. That's me.
Suddenly my dismal looking final didn't look quite so bad.There were at least 30 students in the class. I had the highest grade. I felt a whole lot better.
I walked home that day with the low but high grade safely tucked away in my book satchel. My mother knew that I had a big test that day and asked me as soon as I got home, "how did you do on your test."
"I made a 41," I said.
My mother's expression changed. A frown now stood where a smile was a few seconds earlier. I knew that I had to explain and explain fast. "But mother, I had the highest grade in the class," I proudly stated.
I knew that statement would change things. I had the highest grade in the class, that made a difference.
My mother said, "You flunked."
"But I had the highest grade in the class!" I replied.
"I don't care what everyone else had, you flunked. It doesn'tmatter if everyone else flunked too, what matters is what you do," my mother firmly answered.
For years, I thought that was a harsh judgment. My mother was always that way. It didn't matter what the other kids did, it only mattered what I did and that I did it excellently.
We often don't understand the wisdom of good parents until we ourselves stand in the parenting shoes. My mother's philosophy has carried me throughout life. Don't worry about what the crowd does.
The crowd often goes the wrong way.
If you follow the crowd, you will go to the same destination as the crowd. The path of the crowd is wide and it is crowded.The path to pass the tests of life is narrow and there are very few people on it.
The path up the mountain is narrow; it is not crowded.
The path to health is narrow; it is not crowded.
The path to harmony, peace and happiness with your spouse is narrow; it is not crowded.
The path to peace with yourself and the world is narrow; it is not crowded.
I made a 41 and was proud of it, but it would not have gotten me through the real tests.
The majority of spouses are not faithful, it's the crowd, and even though you may be the smoothest deceiver of the group, you are on the road to failure; it's not a passing grade.
The crowd eats fattening unhealthy fast food. That food sends you to an early appointment with the doctor and the funeral director. It's the food of the crowd.
The crowd spends no special time in prayer and meditation each day. That leads to an unhealthy spirit. It's the way of the crowd.
Thirty years after my mother said that she didn't care if I was the best failure in the class, I understand why.
"Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."
That's a quote that my mother lives by.
We often take comfort in the crowd; the only problem is that the crowd is not comfortable.
PASS the class!

~A MountainWings Original~
Thank you for inviting MountainWings in your mailbox.See you tomorrow.
Forward this issue to a friend or send them the link below:http://www.mountainwings.com/past/1309.htm

Even I can be humbled

2010-02-08T11:57:00.002-06:00

Yeah....even I can be humbled now and then... please read on...

Love & Prayers,
Judy

"As The Hammer Falls"
-Bryan Hupperts (Apr 9, 2004).

Exhausted from a night's work, I sat down on my living room
couch and fell asleep. In my mind's eye, I saw a hammer
in the far, distant sky. At first, it seemed to be a mere
speck but as I watched, I saw it begin to grow in size and
began a ramming speed run towards earth.

All around me I became aware of people speaking in their
private thoughts many bitter angry accusations and
lamentations. As if a collective fist of rage were joined
together shaking towards the sky, I began to hear
accusations such as, "God, how could you?" and "Why God, why?"

My own heart betrayed me even as I worshipped God; deep
inside I heard myself accuse also accuse him with, "Why
has my life been so hard? Why have I wrestled with illness
for so long? Where is the healing you promised? I lay
hands on the sick and& nothing. Where is your promise,
O Lord God? Did you lie? Have you forgotten your promises to me?"

I was deeply ashamed of the flood of accusations that
flowed from the secret place of my heart. And then I
realized that my inner thoughts were louder in heaven
than my spoken words.

I looked up and the hammer had grown larger and began to
fill the sky. A moaning chorus of human lament and rage
spiraled in a choir of accusations against the Most High.

"My husband left me and it YOUR fault, God. "

"My business is not prospering. I gave money, 10 percent
and more. Where is the blessing you promised?"

Then it occurred to me that these were Christians making
these accusations!

Voices of unbelievers chimed in agreeing with the accusing
saints. "If you're so good, why is there war and disease?
Why did my father molest me? Why did my car break
down on my way to the interview? I needed that job. Curse you, O God!"

As the swell of accusations rose to crescendo in fever
pitch, I repented of the evil intent of my heart and was
forgiven. The shadow of the hammer now covered the
earth and filled the sky. It came swiftly, menacingly as
I imagined the mythical hammer of the Norse demon god
Thor would fall. Destruction seemed certain.

I began to cry out to people, "The hammer of God is
coming. It is going to fall. Judgment is swift and sure!"
But my voice was drowned out in dirge of lament and
accusation that went up from the earth.

And the hammer filled the whole sky and grew larger and
larger until it seemed we were but a tack under a large
sledgehammer about to be mercilessly crushed. And I
heard a voice rumbling like thunder say, "Behold, my Judgment!"

And then the hammer was suddenly very small in the
hands of a man in the attire of an ancient soldier. He raised
it up to an iron spike and began to nail it into the hand/wrist
of a bleeding, groaning man on a Cross. The hammer of
God began to fall in judgment on him!

I awoke shaken with wonder. Colossians 1:20 and 2:14
flashed through my mind. "By Him to reconcile all things to
Himself, by Him, whether things on earth or things in heaven,
having made peace through the blood of His cross... Having
wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against
us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the
way, having nailed it to the cross."

The hammer of God's righteous and swift Judgment did fall
on our substitute sacrificial lamb, Jesus! May this blessed
truth comfort you who have come to saving faith in Christ.
1Thess 5:9, "For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to
obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ!"

-Bryan Hupperts © 2004
SheepTrax Media
PO Box 270256
St. Louis, MO 63127 USA
www.SheepTrax.com

Copyright © 2004 Bryan Hupperts. Permission to distribute
this material via email, or individual copies, is automatically
granted on the condition it will be used for non-commercial
purposes and will not be sold.
**************************************

Do You ever wonder???

2010-02-06T08:36:00.003-06:00

Do you ever wonder just what the hell is GOD thinking?

Lately I seem to be wondering that more then ever. Not only because of my own life but because of what I see going on in so many other lives.

I have to admit as of late my faith is rather shot and beat pretty low. I am even beginning to wonder if I have a mustard seed of faith left in me.

It is not like I want to go out and beat people down or become mean and evil. I genuinely love and care for people. My heart hurts and cries for their pain and losses. But it almost seems that all my prayers are falling on deaf ears. It is getting harder and harder to offer people hope that anything will change for them and GOD will even intervene in their behalf. I am seeing very few miracles these days... I mean serious life altering miracles.

When you see people who genuinely love the Lord and are really trying to serve him... lose their children, lose their homes, lose their health and see the enemy always coming up on the high receiving end.... well you get my drift...

I get a lot of platitudes...
GOD is testing us..
GOD has a plan and we will not know it until we reach the other side..
GOD is punishing us for doing something bad we do not know about..
If we belong to GOD then we need to expect the devil to hate us and our lives will suck...
If we give our lives to HIM then we have to prepare to lose everything and be glad in it...
He is trying to get us to praise HIM in everything...
Our real life is not here it is on the 'other' side..
If we hang in there we will get a mansion on the other side...
We are not of this world but of another...
Well Jesus did die for us sooo... we can not complain.
You must be doing something right as the devil is so mad...

Ok. so I think you all get where I am going with all of this..

As I see it this is all the same thing I have always heard in the churches and does any of it really help when a person is in pain and their life is in shambles?

When I was a child and being tortured, raped and abused along with many others... do you honestly think any of the above would have given me/us comfort?
Do you think a mother who has her children ripped from her arms and hauled off to GOD knows where will feel much better by the above?
Do you think people who are hurting by just having to live on the messed up planet really feel any better by the above?

SO what is really going on? Is there really any hope for us down here on planet earth? Is GOD really on sabbatical? Am I going to get struck by lightning for even thinking this stuff much less writing it out for all to see?

Am I feeling a bit like Job and wondering where the Creator of All is in this mess?

How can any of us get that hope back into our hearts to keep us keeping on? How can we pass that hope onto others? Is there really any hope left to pass on?

Is any religion just a way to cope and give hope so we can manage to survive on this planet?

I know, I know.... I need to keep counting my blessing as it could be worse... well duhhhhhh... you think I have not seen and lived in worse?
I have even had people tell me..'You just have no idea how bad it can be Judy' ????? Say What???!!!
Am I feeling sorry for myself... I don't know... I don't even think so..actually this all has been building for a long while and then the topper was when a sweet family was torn apart by the state with no end in sight. Now how can that glorify GOD?
How can so much pain glorify HIM?
Because we praise HIM anyway even when nothing changes for the good and the enemies keeps winning? That is like saying..
GOD you are so good to help me not kill myself even though you are allowing my life to be destroyed so I can have a wonderful next life... I am so grateful for the blessing of pain....what a great Father you are to allow so much pain in my life to make me so worthy for the next life...????

OK so What if....

This is for you people in pain out there...
If GOD is our Father and Creator.. then why would HE want us in pain? Why would HE create us to have life and then tell us not to enjoy it, not to want to live it and to remember this is not a real life because life only begins at death? Why would HE go to all the trouble to create something and then tell that something to not expect anything special until the next life.
Is that not what the Muslims believe? Hummm....not much different the Christians.
Why would HE tell us we can not earn our way to anywhere but then tell us we have to earn it? You know count ourselves worthy by trials and counting the cost of being HIS...
Do any of you do that to your children???
Would you ignore your kids in pain? Would you pat them on the head and tell them to praise you for loving them so much you are not going to help them...because you want to make them stronger and you want them to have a better afterlife???

OK, so what am I missing? What an I not getting?

I want that GOD who brings water from rocks and manna from heaven. I want that GOD who tells me I can walk on water and I do and who will part the Red Sea for me.... I want the GOD who will give me a pillar of fire by night to keep me warm and a cool cloud to keep me cool by day. I want a GOD who will stand up to my enemies and tell them where to get off and because HE is all powerful, they will be defeated!!!
I want that big huge awesome dude who can do all things!
I want the GOD who gave me this life to live and He gave it for me to live abundantly!!

I do not want that other god who is weak and on sabbatical all the time and who only gives me platitudes not action!!!

OK GOD..... WHERE ARE YOU??????
I am calling!!!!!!!!!!!!

RINGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

We need some serious ACTION down here!!!

New Day, New Week, Here I am....

2010-02-03T08:24:00.003-06:00

Another thank you once again... for the support and prayers from all you angels on this planet who take the time to hold this sister up.

So many changes in me.... so many changes in my life.

You know when I started this blog I never imagined how far it would take me and how many of you would touch my life.

Sometimes I have quite a lot of hits but mostly just as average of about 25 or 30 hits a day to this blog... how amazing it is to me that even that many of you would take the time to check in and read anything I have to say.

I have had it said that I am nuts and anything I believe is just false memories... well if it is then many of you seem to be under the same delusion. So, I guess we shall ride this delusion together..OK? I mean who wants to be alone in this mess? It is not like we are having a ball.

I am working on a new site and I probably will not be posting it here, however if any of you want the info about it please e-mail me. I am not sure what all I am going to do there but I kind of think I want it to have more information as well as hopefully entries of other survivor/victims, writings and artwork expressing their healing process and their spiritual walk. I will not be limiting it to anything specific at this point. And it is very much a work in progress.

Writing is something I like to do and it is very healing for me.. so I think I need to continue not only this blog but other avenues as well along that line.

Any comments and ideas about what any of you might like me to tackle please let me know... this is about all of us.

I know one thing I really want to try and finish writing about is something I have been trying to sort through... I like to call it my
' What IF Chronicles'.
Hopefully I can get that posted in a few days or at least by the weekend.

You all seem to appreciate my ramblings...so we shall see where that takes us...

My computer connection has been in a mood as of late..yeah I know nothing new.. sigh.. that is what I get for living in the boonies...HA!
But it seems the Creator allows me windows to post when I need to so I can not complain. Also I have a wonderful brother in the Faith who blesses me each month so I can even have Internet... to You my Brother.. many wonderful thank yous and I pray lots of blessings unto you as well.
I have to admit when I think about quiting all of this... my wonderful benefactor reminds me how the Father is leading me on.

Well that is all for now...

Another day to walk the walk...

Love,
Judy your Multisister....

In memory of.....

2010-01-31T20:45:00.001-06:00

I wonder if I am ever going to get through this thing called life.
This is the day my daughter died. My baby…. So long ago, thirty-six years ago. She was murdered… and my heart still hurts and my heart still feels her deep inside of me. I have never been able to let her go. She is still a part of me as sure as the blood runs through my veins.

Will the memories of days past always be lurking in the recesses of my mind waiting for an opening so they can explode into my consciousness?
Will there always be more questions than answers?
Who am I suppose to be? Am I even supposed to be at all?

I hear in my head more questions ringing out and I wonder if they should be answered or ignored. I wonder if they are even anything at all.
Am I mad? Am I real? Who is this person that is supposed to be me?
Will I always be wondering if triggers are around the corner waiting?
Will I always wonder who I can trust or if I should trust at all?

I pray…. And I pray some more. Does He hear? Does He care? Are my prayers in vain? Are they even my prayers? I just do not know anymore.

I feel the longings in my heart and I do not even know where they are coming from or if they are real or even mine. I wonder why the things so deep are moving up to the top so quickly now.

I feel my insides shake and rumble like a volcano about to erupt and pray no one gets in the way of the lava flow of my pain. I pray whatever is coming to the surface will manage to flow slowly so others can get out of the way instead of blowing high in the air burning everything in its path without warning.
I pray what is going on with me…. will lead me to more healing and less pain in the end.

I pray and I pray and I wonder who I am even praying to anymore.
Oh, Dear God, The Creator of the Universe….please look down on this daughter of yours and shine the light of truth on her heart. Lead her not unto temptation but deliver her from evil.

LIFE

2010-01-30T12:15:00.002-06:00

Admiring the shine of the new snow with wonder…. Feeling the sting of the wind on my face makes me feel alive. It makes me feel alive in a way that is good.

Many times in my life I have felt alive but not always in such a good way. Many times it was in a way that I often wished I was not alive or in the least maybe in a bad dream where I could wake up and know it was not real.

My life has been a series of places of agonizing pain along with places of agonizing beauty. I guess that is how most lives are? At least I think maybe most lives are like that. Since the only life I really know anything about is my own that is all I can compare anything to. That is all any of us can do

Maybe a lot of people never experience agonizing pain or beauty at all. Maybe there really are people who live a life free of any serious pain or ecstasy. Maybe there are people who never experience anything much at all except one day droning on into another consistently calm and uneventful. I admit calm is nice but not the extent that I cannot ever feel the awe of a beautiful sunset or the wonder of a babies smile.

I would hate to have my life so limited that I cannot stand in amazement on a mountain overlooking a valley or on a beach looking out to sea, with my soul reaching to the sky in ecstasy of the beauty beyond any words in my vocabulary.

Could it be that maybe the agonizing pain we experience in this life is to prepare us to except the ecstasy of the next? Maybe you have to experience the agonizing pain to even recognize or handle the ecstasy of anything at all.

Maybe the Creator allows some experiences of horror and pain for that very reason. Maybe He even gives us amazing glimpses of the ecstasy in the next life.

For instance….. The changing of the seasons with the orgasmic color changes that are so brilliant that no matter how we humans try we cannot really reproduce them… the blooms of the spring flowers transitioning in orgasmic colors to summer in a calmer way then the fall. The human orgasm felt when reproducing another human (or when you are not). The awesome unlimited beauty of the universe whether you are looking within through a microscope on outward through a telescope. The amazing way anything reproduces through a single cell to become something original and full of wonder.

Maybe we as humans have to feel the pain to get to the real ecstasy of life. Pain- pleasure and love- hate…. All very close and all part of what makes us human. Maybe the ones who walk this earth and never experience any of this are not human? Maybe some are human but something has taken away their humanity somehow?

I know a few things about this walk called my life…. I have always felt something. I have always felt things intensely. I know I am alive and I am alive because something bigger than me deemed it so. I would not take away any of the pain if it meant I would lose any of the wonderment… any of the ecstasy. Because through all of it…. It means I have lived.

By Multijl,
A life in progress

A Poem

2010-01-29T06:48:00.001-06:00

A Poem

This is what is going on,
This is what is.
Where am I going?
Where have I been?
It seems my life is a jumble of things,
It seems that my life is a puzzle.
How can I help when I can’t grasp the problem?
How can I heal when I can’t grasp the problem?
Is healing for real or only an illusion?
Is healing for here or only for another place?
I hear the cries of those who are hurting.
I hear the pleas of those in pain.
My heart reaches out and it aches to help,
But how can I help when I can’t grasp the problem?
Is healing for real or only an illusion?
I cry to the Creator of All and pray….
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
What is Thy will? What is heaven?
Are we to ask? Are we to know?
What I think at times is that this might be hell.
But then I hold an innocent baby, I watch a beautiful sunset, I hear a child’s laugh, and I rub a soft kitten against my cheek….
And I know this cannot be hell, hell is the end… this is a beginning.
As painful as this life may be...
This life is a beginning… a beginning of forever, where ever that ever might be.
And I know…
That what we do in this life will effect where we spend forever. Even if forever means we cease to exist.
I do not want to leave this life with only regrets and pain left to others.
I want to leave a legacy of love and forgiveness.
And even if I do not totally grasp the problem,
I know part of the solution is to follow this code.
Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.
Give love and you will get love…
Give pain and you will reap pain…
So where ever I have been and where ever I am going…
No matter how jumbled my life may seem…
I can still love…
And that is a good thing…

By Multijudy

Tea Cup Encouragement

2010-01-26T09:01:00.003-06:00

I do not know who wrote this but I thought it very worthy to post today..

Since most of us have been feeling pretty weary and buffeted as of late, this is a little something to keep us going...

Love you all,
Judy

I love this story - you will not be able to have tea in a tea cup again without thinking of this.

There was a couple who took a trip to England to shop in a beautiful antique store to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery, and especially teacups. Spotting an exceptional cup, they asked, "May we see that? We've never seen a cup quite so beautiful."

As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke, "You don't understand. I have not always been a teacup There was a time when I was just a lump of red clay. My master took me and rolled me, pounded and patted me over and over and I yelled out, "Don't do that. "I don't like it! Leave me alone," but he only smiled, and gently said, "Not yet!"

Then WHAM! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. "Stop it! I'm getting so dizzy! I'm going to be sick!," I screamed. But the master only nodded and said quietly. 'Not yet.'

He spun me and poked and prodded and bent me out of shape to suit himself and then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door. "Help! Get me out of here!" I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head from side to side, 'Not yet'.

When I thought I couldn't bear it another minute, the door opened. He carefully took me out and put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. Oh, that felt so good! "Ah, this is much better," I thought.

But after I cooled he picked me up and he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. "Oh, please, stop it, stop," I cried. He only shook his head and said. 'Not yet!'.

Then suddenly he put me back in to the oven. Only it was not like the first one.. This was twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. I was convinced I would never make it. I was ready to give up.

Just then the door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf where I cooled and waited and waited, wondering "What's he going to do to me next?"

An hour later he handed me a mirror and said 'Look at yourself.' And I did. I said, "That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful!!!"

Quietly he spoke: 'I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I just left you alone, you'd have dried up.

I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled.

I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked.

I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened. You would not have had any color in your life.

If I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't have survived for long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind when I first began with you.'

The moral of this story is this:

God knows what He's doing for each of us. He is the potter, and we are His clay. He will mold us and make us and expose us to just enough pressures of just the right kinds that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing and perfect will.

So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace of trials; when life seems to "stink", try this:

Brew a cup of your favorite tea in your prettiest tea cup, sit down and think on this story and then, have a little talk with the Potter.

Some more of my rambeling thoughts....

2010-01-19T18:39:00.003-06:00

Well I am still around....as you can see my blog is still up and going, just toned down a bit...

Feeling kind of wore out but plugging on....

It always seems that just when I think my life is going a bit smoothly something has to come along and throw a huge wrench in the works. Guess that is the way life is. A huge wrench grinding anything for the good to a halt.

I have heard from many of you out there that you are all are getting a lot of spiritual attacks from some places you did not expect them. I have also been hearing and noticing that people are crossing some sort of line. You know? The mean are meaner, stuff like that. It seems a lot of people are just plain losing their sense of compassion and heart for others. They seem to have no conscience about the things they do at all when it comes to hurting others and forgiveness does not seem to mean anything to them.

Yes, it really seems dark times are upon us here on planet earth. But then maybe it has always been dark with sporadic glimpses of light now and then.
This is a time when we really need to know where we are in the spiritual sense. And that my friends can even be a hard task when we are being bomb-barded with satanic arrows and deception is flowing out like water.

I am just starting to understand why King Davids cried out with groanings, questions and pleadings that he poured out in his Psalms.
I find myself more often then not doing those same things these days.

I wonder why I was spared and allowed to live when so many died. I wonder if anything I can possibly do ever effect or make a difference on this planet. Have I just been spinning my wheels in thinking anything can make a difference?

I have often said we need to love... we need to show compassion. I have often talked about forgiveness. I have often talked about giving of ourselves. I have often talked about faith and hope. All of these things are what I believe were created in us... that is if we are HIS... in that we belong to The CREATOR of the Universe. These are HIS gifts planted in our DNA and spirit.
I am starting to understand that not everyone on this planet are HIS. Many are the tares so often written about in the bible. They blend in and can not always be identified easily.

And if they are not HIS, these gifts will not be in them. If these gifts are not in them, then how can we expect those people to be anything other then the dark, rank, sad souls that they are? Yes, they will lack compassion. Yes, they will lack forgiveness. Yes they will hurt others without a thought.

The hard thing to deal with is that some of these people can be people we love... people we thought we could trust... people who claim to serve our GOD. They are like shape shifters and chameleon's changing to fit whatever environment they are in. They can stand at a pulpit, in a government office, even be sleeping in your bed. You might even have given birth to one or adopted one. They might be a sister or brother. They might even be a parent or grandparent.

So.....what if the only thing we can do on this planet is what HE has written in our hearts to do, give love, compassion and forgiveness. These gifts HE gave to us and placed in our DNA, in our hearts and in our spirits. What if that.... is why I am alive.... you are alive....we are still around?
What if we are to minister those things to the ones left with HIS DNA...to give them hope....to give each of them a little push toward HIS Light... and help them turn away from the darkness? Maybe we are here to let them know there are still a few of us around.

Just some thoughts....

Judy

Announcement....

2010-01-17T08:12:00.002-06:00

I may have to pull my blog....just a warning, I will know in a few days...

Things are happening beyond my control that are hurting close family members

Please those of you who care be praying..

I will update soon...
Thank you,
Judy

Thoughts...

2010-01-13T19:01:00.003-06:00

I Have been seeking a lot of things in my heart as of late....I have even started a list called...What if ?....
I write down random thoughts as questions. Questions I hope to be answered.
I talk a lot to the Creator... does He listen? Is He interested? Who is HE ? I wonder.... does this thing called my life really matter? Is there really a purpose for me to be here? Do I have a destiny on this planet?

Several people have written me and asked the same question.... WHY????
What is the point in all the pain we and others have had to suffer in this life?

I have heard most of the pat answers and that is what I usually tell them. You know .... that man has a free will and all of that stuff. But I always feel so lame in my response to these questions.

In truth? I really do not understand... I can not begin to understand the whys and ways of GOD and what this mess is really all about. What I do know is this....

As long as I am alive I know that I have to do the best I can as a human and a child of the Most High to help as many on this journey we call life as I can. I know I am to do what is right in my heart to the best of my abilities to honor the Most High. I know that I am accountable for what I do or do not do in this life and I am only accountable for me... no one else. When my life is over no matter where I end up I want to know I did the best I could to honor my Heavenly Father with what He had allowed me to have and that my life has made someone elses life better for what I had to share.

We all have something to share... something to give... something to do. Nothing is too small or too little... be it a smile, hug or a meal. When we give anything it is never too small, unless you do not give it in love. There is the key... it has to be given in love.

Maybe that is all we are here for...to love one another. Maybe that is what the love of GOD is all about. To just love one another...

Until later,
Judy

THE END OF PERSONAL UNDERSTANDING

(Job 40:1-5)

Have you ever been amazed at how arrogant personal understanding can be towards the matters of eternity? Such understanding often determines what we conclude truth or reality to be. We manage to get the best case together we can about a personal situation. We come up with what we perceive to be an airtight presentation. In our mind there is no way we can be wrong about what we perceive to be right or true.

For Job, he was not only in a fight for his life, but he was in a debate about what he understood or knew about God. Even though nothing made sense, he had to cling to what he knew about the character and ways of God. When he came to the end of the debate, God stepped on the scene. He asked Job if he was the one who instructed Him. God did not have to give an answer for His being or ways to mere man, but man would give an account to Him.

At the end of personal understanding is the awareness that God is beyond any personal understanding, debate or conclusion. God is eternal. Can the finite mind of man possibly comprehend that which has no beginning, is unseen or can’t be marked by any change or ending? The answer is no, but each of us can get glimpses into the orderly, perfect ways of that which is eternal. It is the glimpses into the eternal that puts what is known and understood into perspective.

I have learned each New Year that if I do not gain insight into the eternal, that my world will become very small and tormenting indeed. There is absolutely no hope that can be found in the age we live in. All of civilization and creation is teetering on the brink of destruction. If I cannot see above this present age to see that in the end justice will prevail, good will reign, and holiness will be established as the indubitable standard that will silence all skeptics, I would only be able to conclude that each of us are truly the most miserable of all creatures.

Prayer: Lord, as I meditate upon all matters of Your creation, I must conclude there is no hope or purpose outside of You. Give me greater glimpses into Your heavenly reality. Amen

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Very Good thought for today

2010-01-08T07:59:00.002-06:00

I am posting a very though provoking devotion from Gentle Shepherd today...
Since I often think I am the only one out here ( my flesh thing again)... this kind of puts things in perspective..

Love & Prayers,
Judy

GOD’S FOOTSTOOL

(Isaiah 66:1)

Considering God’s universe has been an eye opener to me. In the beginning, as a young child, I perceived myself as the center of the universe, while in my teenage years, I saw myself as the master of my world. Years later I realize how small I was in my thinking and how foolish I became in my teenage years.

Life has a way of proving that regardless of how smart, strong or wise we see ourselves, we really are being deluded by arrogance. When I think that earth is nothing but a small “pale blue dot” in its galaxy, it causes me to realize how small my world is in comparison. Even though I flatter myself into thinking I am in control of my small world, the truth of the matter is I am unable to control it. There are forces greater than me that influence the world I live in.

This Scripture in Isaiah brings out God’s perspective about heaven, the earth and man. We are told that earth is God’s footstool. Such a thought proves to be incredible. How big God must be for the earth to simply serve as His footstool upon which He can rest. The other amazing consideration is that heaven is His throne, and a believer serves as His temple or dwelling place. His throne is related to His sovereignty as God, His footstool to His kingship, and His temple to the presence of His Spirit.

God’s majesty is brought out even more when we consider how He chose earth (His footstool) in the vastness of the universe to put man (His temple) in a perfect environment. His purpose for this was to have fellowship with His creation as a means to enjoy it. Obviously, one aspect of His creation (the universe) speaks of His power and glory, while the other aspect of His creation (earth) speaks of His heart’s desire to be in communion or agreement with that which He has created.

The video “The Privileged Planet,” explains how everything about earth was designed to maintain life, as well as see into the window of the universe. Clearly, everything about creation declares there is a Creator, who is not only intelligent, but He gave the necessary intelligence to man to explore beyond this world to discover His greatness and glory.

We will be seeing how the various dots found in creation are quite important to God. In fact, He was the one who put these dots in their places. Although man may consider all that God has done as being common, the fact that God is behind it sets it apart and makes it important.

Prayer: Lord, we tend to overlook what is important to You because we do not know Your person or heart. However, Lord I know that every insignificant dot has a purpose. Thank You for Your dots. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Good Morning to another day...

2010-01-05T08:17:00.003-06:00

Lately I have been fighting it seems many dark nights of the soul. You know, where you wake up in the wee hours of the morning and it seems everything horrible you ever did rushes in to torment you in full force.

I start wondering about my very existence and if GOD can even love a spud like me. I feel about as flawed as any person on the planet and at those times can even understand why certain people in certain religions have the urge to punish themselves until they drawl blood.

One thing I have to say good about those awful nights is getting up and seeing the sunrise. As I go outside and fight the elements caring for my critters I get almost a sense of accomplishment in that I survived another night and am plowing on into another day.

My life might not have not been what I wanted or expected but it is what I have been given. For all the good and all the bad of it I am here. For some reason the Creator decided to put me here and so I am assuming He has a purpose even if in the most part I am clueless.

I struggle always in my relationship with my Heavenly Father only because I am sure I make it way more complicated then it needs to be. I admit I have not reached the stage in my life where I can always lay down in peace and just have blissful faith all the time. If any of you have reached that stage in your life please let me know. I would love to meet someone who has attained that.

I often struggle with the human in me... fighting the flesh is a full time war...and I do not always win over the flesh. But in my struggles I am finding a realness in my relationship with my Creator that I do not think I would have otherwise.

So with saying all of that here are two new devotions from Gentle Shepherd... they really touched home with me in a very big way and I suspect they will you all as well..

GOD Bless....

Judy

REALITY CHECK

(Job 38:1-4)

Job is a man that I can often relate to. He struggled with the issues of life that do not make sense. He knew about God, yet understood that his present situation was eluding him. He understood spiritual matters in part, yet his present knowledge of such matters brought nothing but confusion and darkness to his soul. The final conclusion he had to come to was that he really did not understand.

It is vital that as believers we occasionally gain a true reality check about our part in the scheme of things. In reality, we are nothing, but our incredible Creator put a price on us when He redeemed us back from the hopeless state of death brought on by sin.

In considering how there are many galaxies that make up the unfolding universe before us, we must remember that even God’s creation cannot contain His power and glory. In light of such a perspective, we can only marvel at how our Creator would choose man out of all of creation to establish a relationship with Him. He would form him from insignificant dust to become a living vessel that could intimately interact with Him, as well as choosing him to house His Spirit, reflect His glory, and commune with Him.

When was the last time you considered your life in light of creation? Take time to consider creation, and then, remember how the Creator desires to have a personal, intimate relationship with you.

Prayer: Lord I am awed by Your creation, overwhelmed by Your greatness, and humbled by the incomprehensible reality that You actually desire a relationship with me. Lord, thank You for regarding me in spite of the vastness of Your beauty, works, and perfect ways. Amen.

STARTING POINT

(Isaiah 44:6)

When I start a new year, I meditate on the purpose for my existence. Why am I here in this place, at this time? Clearly, something cannot simply exist without a purpose or reason. Am I fulfilling my reason for being? There was a time in my quest to come to terms with the “whys” behind my existence when I rationalized that perhaps I must come to terms with my beginning. What marks my beginning: My actual conception in the womb or the beginning of all creation? Clearly, to understand the ending, I must start from the right beginning. After all, the beginning will line me up to the finished purpose or goal for my life.

This consideration in regards to the beginning of a matter brings each us to the big debate: Something had to be eternal to bring about a matter. Was energy eternal or is God eternal? Regardless of the debate, something had to initially exist in order for something to come forth. Life can only come out of life or that which possesses the source of life.

The other aspect of the debate can be clearly observed in creation. Everything in our universe is winding down including the energy that is present in our world. Granted, almost everything has a peak, but like the wind after hitting its peak or potential, it will digress downward into a place where it will cease altogether. Everything is digressing where it is subsiding into a state of ruin and decay. Therefore, such elements as energy could not be considered eternal or the substance behind all that we see. This is why the Bible’s record of creation is so incredible. It clearly states: “In the beginning, God...”

This simple statement found in Genesis 1:1 says it all. All matters of life, creation and purpose can be found in the reality of God. In Him everything existed that was, became and will become. The answer to my question was simple: my existence began with my Creator.

Thought: God is all inclusive. Everything stands completed in Him, whether in design or purpose, and it will all come forth to perfection in His timing.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Good Morning to a New Year....

2010-01-01T08:59:00.002-06:00

I thought I would start this year off with this Gentle Shepherd devotional.
It is very fitting for the day and something to contemplate on...

Love & Prayers,
Judy

INCOMPREHENSIBLE

(Genesis 1:1)

As we start a New Year, we must strive to put the past in perspective as it fades into the background, regard the present as a point of meditation in light of a new beginning, and the future must be considered in light of hope and expectation. In order to do this we must know how to look beyond ourselves to embrace the purpose for today in light of the expectation we should presently live in for tomorrow. How can we do this?

In the beginning of each new day the heart must always ponder the reality and matters of God. Recently, I watched a video about the wonders of God. The video showed how incomprehensible our God is when it comes to our finite minds and understanding. This comparison was brought out in light of God’s incredible creation. For example, when the earth and sun were compared to the larger stars of our galaxy, the earth became invisible in light of the enormous size of these stars.

The comparison of earth to some of the stars caused me to think about my life in light of the vastness of God’s creation. According to the video, I began as the size of a period at the end of a sentence; therefore, where would this place me in comparison to the universe? Even though we think highly of ourselves, such a comparison reveals just how foolish we can become in the darkness of our ignorance, delusion and overrated arrogance. Clearly, in our humanity, we have nothing of significance to offer or to add when it comes to the vastness of God’s abilities or His creation.

The universe around us should cause us to pause and consider the greatness of God, along with our personal limitations. We will never be able to comprehend the vastness of God. We must beware of becoming too big in our opinions about personal abilities, while remaining small in our understanding of God. We should keep in mind at all times that each new day allows us the opportunity to discover more about God as a means to keep our human frailties in a proper perspective. If we accept this daily opportunity, we will be able to live in light of our future expectation.

Thought: In our attempts to comprehend God, we often make Him small, while inflating our personal biased understanding about the matters of life and eternity.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Good Day to All....

2009-12-30T09:50:00.002-06:00

Just felt like writing a bit this morning... mostly a chatty thing nothing heavy.

I put up a new pic today..not because I like it but because it is something until I get one I kind of like that is new. I have cut my hair since this pic was taken...but feel you all need a face with the blog or something like that.

I am getting itchy to start drawing again and Lynn with the publication 'Many Voices' wants me to do some things for them again. I have in the past and I really like doing that sort of thing. Besides I am getting the urge to be creative a bit. Great stress reliever and another way to express what I feel or whatever....

Finished a new interview with Ronnie McMullen last night to be aired sometime in the next few months on UFO live. I will post that interview as soon as I have the info.

I am feeling pretty weird about the new year approaching. But in truth I always tend to feel weird about any new year... anyway I am kind of feeling like this next year will be a serious year of revelations... good and bad. A year of pain mixed with amazing miracles for the Lambs. I think the enemy will ramp up their thing while the Father will ramp up His power.

Overcoming is the word I would use in this scenario for the new year. But in the context for the Lambs of the true Lord and Savior, Yeshua/Jesus Christ....

This is not a thus saith the Lord word, just something I feel in my heart. I am not a prophet or anything so....I would very much be interested in anything you all might be feeling about the new year to come. I would like to post what you all might be feeling. SO, please write me and we can share.

Again many thanks for all the encouragement and cards, notes etc. this past month from so many of you.... it does matter and means so much to me.

Guess I am through chatting for today...

Until later,

Love & Prayers,
Judy

I am still here...

2009-12-27T21:10:00.002-06:00

Just wanted to check in and let everyone know I am still here...

I have been so busy I feel as if I am chasing myself. A lot of road trips back to back as of late along with everything else. Not much computer time to be sure...

Anyway if I can not get back here anytime soon I want to ask a New Year's blessing for everyone...

You all have been such a blessing to me.... you have no idea how much. Every time I feel as if I can not make one more step, someone out there encourages me and pushes me on. I know that without all of you praying I would never be able to walk this walk at all.

So with saying all of that I shall leave you with this wonderful message...

Love & prayers,

Judy

Reading: Ephesians 6:16

SHIELD OF FAITH

We cannot get to heaven without faith. We know we cannot please God without this active virtue. It is clear that faith is what enables us to walk forward in our life in Christ. Therefore, it is important to note that faith is associated with the shield. The Bible tells us that the Lord is our shield. In fact, a buckler was a shield. King David made this statement: “As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him” (2 Samuel 22:31 ).

According to the information I read about some of the shields in Jesus’ day, there was one particular shield a soldier could actually hide his whole body behind in battle. Therefore, he had complete protection. This reminds us that to hide in Jesus, we must truly trust Him with what is going on around us. We must hide behind Him because He is truth. We must not move until we know we can walk in righteousness. In this way we know we can be completely surrounded by His incredible protection.

This is why the writer of Hebrews stated that Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith. Our faith begins with Jesus where we put our trust in Him for salvation. As we learn to hide in Him by faith, we learn to trust Him for the life and type of protection that has been promised to us.

The shield of faith protects us from the fiery darts of the wicked. These darts can be lies, false accusations and doubts. They are attempts of Satan to make inroads into our life so that he can rob us of confidence towards God, kill our trust in His commitment towards us, and destroy our abiding foundation we have established in Him as our Rock of Ages.

By standing behind our shield of God, we will quench the fire and impact of these darts as they try to penetrate our lives in Christ. Make sure you hold your shield up against such attempts. If you do, the influences and attempts of the wicked one will fall to the wayside.

Prayer: Lord, we praise Your name. You have become our shield in which we can quench all the darts that come from the enemy. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

update....

2009-12-22T09:00:00.002-06:00

I do not have much time for writing this morning... but I wanted everyone to know I am much better, thanks to all the prayer cover and encouragement...

I will try and update some more in a day or so....

Love you all....

Judy

Feelings....

2009-12-21T02:50:00.002-06:00

Well for the first time in a long time I am writing back to back posts....
Please read the one before this one because it is on much higher note then this one....

It is almost three in the morning and I can not sleep. You know one of those kinds of nights where your brain will not shut up.

I have had a lot of miracles in my life as of late especially where my kids are involved. A lot of prayers have gone out by a lot of you on my behalf and theirs also. So the reunion with my daughter and grand- daughters yesterday was a result of that... but it was not an easy thing to be sure.

I am praying and hoping that that meeting is the beginning for us and will lead to more time with them and a lot of healing as well. But tonight I have to admit I am feeling a lot overwhelmed and just needed to write or at least try and write about what I am feeling.

I struggle a lot with being Judy. Sometimes I like her OK and sometimes I still look in the mirror and wonder what kind of freak she really is and if she is even really there at all. I often stand outside of myself and listen to what I am saying and doing and wonder if I am real or an illusion and often I feel as if I am a stranger to myself more then to anyone else.
I talk to The Father, a lot... in truth I do not know how not to talk to Him... but anyway I talk to Him a lot about how I feel or how confused I am about me..I wonder if He can somehow clear all this muddle in my head up for me.
When I went to see my daughter we met at her Grandparents home in Okla. Her dad is a full blood Choctaw...anyway some people were there who were there doing a home church thing and they were connected to a Choctaw country church. When the kids were little I used to take them to a Choctaw church...I made a few Choctaw friends back then and really wanted my kids to feel connected to their roots. Even after their dad and I split I tried to make sure they stayed connected to his family. My kids actually saw more of the Choctaw side then they saw of my side. My dad is actually half Cherokee with some Choctaw thrown in but you would not know it by looking at me other then I am tall like him and I have his facial structure...I am fair and redheaded (or used to be age has lightened it a lot) like my mom. The Irish....
Anyway I grew up not being connected to any roots other then bad ones so I never had any kind of identity about my ancestors....did not really care one way or another and still do not. But what I am writing about now is about a lot of what I have always felt.

When I walked into my kids grandparents home and met the church couple (who were Choctaws) they knew me. They had remembered me when I was young and my kids were all little. It was weird but all of a sudden I felt like that scared, screwed up confused girl way back then so long ago. It was not that this couple said anything wrong, they were very nice in fact, it was all me. I remembered how I felt as that young woman trying to fit into a strange culture and a new family and how much of an outsider I always felt. I had no roots...I had no understanding of roots... I had no pride in who I was or who my family was or in anything. I was always amazed as I sat on the sidelines and observed the Choctaw culture, all the time wishing I could be a part of their illusive clan.
I was lonely.... so alone and so lost. I felt isolated from everybody and everything. I tried very hard to fit in and be excepted but in my messed up dissociated state I ran more people away from me then too me.

Anyway it amazes me even now how so many years later I can still feel so out of it and inadequate. I felt that way trying to connect with my daughter and I felt that way when I tried to talk to these people. I feel that way now as I write this.
I try and try to do my Father's work and I try and be the person I believe I should be to honor Him and yet.... I still feel lost and inadequate. I still feel disconnected to myself and others a huge part of the time. I still feel as if I have no roots and am somehow still floating around ungrounded.

I know all the scriptures that say to the contrary because I belong to the Father and have excepted the Savior and I know this planet is not my home. I know if I am in Christ I am no longer part of this world and my identity is in Him... OK I know all of that so what is the deal with me?

Why do I still feel as if pieces of me are missing? Why do I still feel as if I can never get anything right and I am a rootless outsider who can never fit anywhere? I often feel as if I will not fit in the next life any better then this one.

I keep thinking that one day I will get it and it will all make sense to me. I will make sense to me. That with all the words I have written, Judy will somehow be real to me and I will get her. Every time I think I am getting close to her she eludes me. Is she real or someone I have created in my mind? Is that why my kids have such a hard time with me? Is it because I elude them as well?

Who am I? And does it even matter? Do any of you out there ever feel the same way?

Thanks for listening.... you all know by now, I can not hide what I feel because if I am not honest as I can be with my struggles then how can I be anything at all to you...

Good Night,
Judy

A wonderful Blessing from the Father....

2009-12-20T19:09:00.002-06:00

Hi All,

I have had a wonderful blessing from the Father today and I just had to share it with everyone...

I got to spend the day with my daughter and my two precious grand-daughters..I have not seen them in over three years!!

What a great answer to my prayers...anyway I posted an updated picture of me with my grand-daughters so be sure to check it out.

I have felt so blessed these last few weeks... first off my son whom I had not seen is over two years come to see me out of the blue. Then I had a birthday that really blessed me and gave me wonderful new memories with precious new friends and brothers and sisters in the Lord... then my 20Th wedding anniversary... and that in itself is a miracle..ha! (living with a survivor is no picnic but Tim is a trooper)
And then I got to see my girls today! And if that is not enough I get to have four of my grandsons next week!!

So for all of you who pray for me..thanks and many thanks over again.
The Father is so good and even in my pain of new memories He has given me much joy....

Love & Prayers,
Judy

A Huge Thank you!!!

2009-12-13T10:33:00.002-06:00

I am sending a huge Thank you to all of you who sent their prayers, good thoughts and wonderful notes of encouragement and Birthday blessings to me yesterday.

I had a great blessed day and I give all the credit to the Father for loving me so much and to all of you who love me as well.

That is why I keep on with this blog and my interviews....because I know it matters... it matters to so many of you and it is what my Father has called me to do.

Now I want to share some of the wonderful scriptures I received in your e-mails the last few days as they pertain to us all.... I added so in parentheses....

Revelation 4:11 "Thou are worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and created." The Lord created you, Judy (and my sisters and brothers) because it pleased him. You were made for Him.

Romans 5:1-6 says 1. Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
2. By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
3. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing the tribulation worketh patience; 4. And patience, experience;
and experience, hope: 5. And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of the God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy
Ghost which is given unto us. 6. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.

The Lord gave to me to read about 12, 13 years ago in the Spring of that year Psalm 139, I so enjoy reading it
as often as the Lord brings me to it, which is a lot. He reminds me that He loves me, that He formed me, that He watches and
knows me intimately, that He is with me ALL the day of my life and will not forsake me. In verse 14 He tells me that I am fearfully and
wonderfully made: marvellous are Thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Judy (and my brothers and sisters) I know you know that you are all these things to Him as well.

Thank you all so very much and may the Lord truly bless you all for your faithfulness and for your love and compassion...

Love & prayers always,
Judy

Announcement

2009-12-10T18:31:00.002-06:00

I did an interview with Zeph Daniel today and it is up and going....

Here is the link to anyone who wants to listen in...

http://zephreport.podomatic.com/player/web/2009-12-10T08_48_04-08_00

Hope you all can listen in...

Thanks for all the prayers and support....

Judy

Remember the Mustard Seed.....

2009-12-04T08:33:00.003-06:00

This is a serious thing to ponder but remember the mustard seed of faith....

The Father put that in us and it is because of that we came to Him in the first place. So with that we can know without always seeing.... or understanding.

Isn't the Father wonderful!!!

Love & prayers,

Judy

Reading: John 6:66

DEPARTED

To me one of the saddest incidents in the Bible is when some of the disciples went back to their old life and followed Jesus no more. Here were men that sat under Jesus’ incredible teachings, witnessed His miracles, and under His authority preached the Gospel of the kingdom of heaven. However, they came to a point of testing which caused them to come to a crossroad. The testing had to do with their faith. Jesus’ teaching did not make any sense to their intellectual understanding.

These disciples did not want to follow Jesus unless they could walk according to their own understanding. However, the truths of God can prove to be mysteries that are beyond mere man’s intelligence. This is why we walk by faith in the character of God, and not according to our personal understanding.

Obviously, the disciples were following Christ because of what they witnessed, and not for who He was. Our faith is not based on what we see, but in the unseen, mainly in the work, purpose and plan of God. Even though Jesus could be seen, His disciples had to still believe He was the Promised One, and that His words were true in spite of the challenge and confusion that they brought to their physical ears and personal understanding.

Faith will always be tested. It is not necessarily tested by the unseen, but by what is not understandable to the intellectual or comfort zone. Faith has to do with trusting the character of God when we do not understand a matter.

These disciples were not walking by faith, but by self-serving motives. When their understanding was challenged, they went into unbelief instead of choosing to cling to the Rock.

What are you walking according to? The only true disciple of Jesus must walk by faith in His character, and not by personal understanding.

Prayer: Lord, we praise Your name. We may not understand all of Your ways and words, but we choose to believe You. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Great Devotion to Start December

2009-12-01T08:16:00.001-06:00

Reading: 1 John 2:13

OVERCOMING

What does it mean to overcome the wicked one? That is what separates the children from the young men and women in the kingdom of God . To understand what it means to overcome the wicked one, we must understand what overcoming entails. It means to conquer, prevail, and get the victory over an enemy or matter (SC, #3528)

As we consider the meaning of this word, it is more than simply subduing an enemy, it points to a complete victory over the influence and power of this enemy in your life. As we consider the implication of being a conqueror, we must remember what the Apostle Paul stated in Romans 8:37: “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.”

Jesus made this statement in Matthew 16:18: “And I say also unto thee, that thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.”

The Apostle Paul gives us this perspective in 1 Corinthians 15:54: “So, when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory.”

As you consider each Scripture, you can see why the Christian life is powerful. Clearly, we are more than conquerors. We have the power and protection that hell will not be able to prevail against. We also will have the victory over the ultimate enemy, death.

To come to terms with this overcoming life, we must understand how to be active in ensuring that victory. As a maturing believer in Christ, you must first of all recognize that victory is outside of any personal strength.

Prayer: Lord, our victory is in You, according to You, and because of You. I concede all to You for Your use and glory. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Hello....And lets talk about Holidays

2009-11-28T08:55:00.005-06:00

Sorry I have not written anything this week....Internet has been fickle and well I have just been plain busy.

Anyway as usual I miss writing and as I see it when I write it is as much for me as for anyone who reads it.

Because of the time of year we are at The Holidays are at the front of every ones minds no matter if you celebrate them or not.

I know some believers who do not do The Holidays at all and some who embrace them. I get all kinds of emails telling me to push the Christmas thing...you know send cards to the ACLU or write Merry Christmas on bills or whatever. Anyway that is not my thing. And if it is yours that is not for me to tell you it is right or wrong. Do what you feel convicted to do. I am not writing this to tell anyone what they should believe or not believe.

Personally I really do see Christmas as a Christian Holiday, but I also see it as a Satanic Holiday, and a Holiday for just about anyone of any faith. All you have to do is incorporate whatever you believe in and make it your Holiday.
Now with saying all of that where does that leave me?

Well I am not much into the Christian thing anymore...OH MY!!! I do not do Easter and such. But how do I feel about Christmas?

I have to admit I like the colorful lights and the festive feeling all around. I woulde be lying if I said anything different. However, I also like it when I see people get outside of themselves for a few weeks and do nice things to make others happy. That is always a good thing in my book. I like it when I see people go out of their way to help others in need, even if it is just for this short season because that might be all it takes to encourage someone and give them hope for the rest of the year.

In my book giving is always a good thing if it is done in love and with good intent. While there are some who give for all the wrong reasons there are many who give for all the right ones. What I am writing about today is the people who do things with good intent and a loving heart.

At this time of year I see a lot of giving done in love. I believe the Father smiles down on that because He really does meet us where we are. Anytime He can see His creation doing something outside of themselves and helping another I think He is pleased. Maybe I am wrong.... but I don't think so.

Here is a link to a wonderful article about giving from a brother...I think it will bless you all as well.

http://peacebringer7.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/a-giving-challenge-a-response-to-black-friday/

If people would look past all of the tinsel and lights and riff raff, I think we can all find a way to encourage and bless others this season. While I am not into the Santa and Church rituals and such I see this time of year as a time to minister and bless others because people just seem to be more open and excepting then other times of year. It is like an open door to show love and special kindness towards people who would normally push you away or blow you off. This is a time of year where I can pray over people who would usually never consider it.

So no matter what you believe about The Holiday's always look for opportunities to show the Father's love,to help,to give and minister. Pray for open doors and open hearts and divine leading in passing on the blessings and miracles of the Father and the Savior. At least people are considering that there was a baby born for the remission of our sins and He just might be the way, truth and the life. If the Christmas season does not do anything else it at least gets people to thinking about Him, or considering that there might be a Him somewhere.

Another thing I need to say about this time of year is that like all survivors it is a very hard time to get through. The one thing that really helps me is giving and blessing others. It takes all the bad feelings about past pain and rituals and puts positive feelings and new memories in the place of the bad things.
When I say give I do not just mean presents and such... which can be nice especially if they are hand made...but I mean giving of ourselves to help others. Maybe prepare a meal for a lonely or handicapped person who can not get out. Or make cookies and deliver them with a note of encouragement. Maybe help out in a homeless shelter or whatever calls your heart. Whatever you do just do it in Love as unto the Lord and I promise the blessings you will feel in your heart will very much outweigh any pain you may carry in your heart. Giving heals....giving helps you to forgive....giving blesses.

Give and it shall be given unto you, pressed down, shaken together and running over...
That does not always mean monetary blessings, but it means healing of a broken heart and spirit. Give of yourself and feel the healing inside start to rise up and run over.

Just remember to always let His love shine through you and spill out to others....

May the Father richly bless you all this Holiday season and may you richly bless the Father....

Love and Prayers,
Judy

A Time of Rest

2009-11-22T17:24:00.002-06:00

Hi All,

I made a boo-boo on my last post...I said scared when I ment scarred.... sorry about that.....

I will be posting my Thanks Giving blog in a day or so....

Until then Have a very blessed week!!!

Love & Prayers,

Judy

Now for a timely message from Gentle Shepherd....

Reading: Leviticus 25:4-5

A TIME OF REST

It is important to realize there is a time for everything. There is a time of sowing, pruning and reaping. In our Christian life we will experience the pruning of our lives so we can produce greater fruit, but also we will know what it means to come into a place of rest.

When you consider pruning, you realize that it involves the testing of our faith. When we are being pruned, it can prove to be a trying process that results in maturity. God is always trying to cut away the foolishness to channel our gifts, talents and strength in such a way that quality fruit will come forth from our lives.

During pruning, we must trust God with what He is doing. It can be painful because certain aspects of our life can prove to be important to us. When He brings the sword down between us and the very things we have considered important, it can be painful. We have to trust that His ways are perfect at such times.

Pruning can also expose the aspects of life that are hindering us in our spiritual growth. Such characteristics are often attached to worldliness or our pride, and need to be cut back to the point where there is a separation from such influences and attachments. Wherever there is a separation, it can become a point of discipline for the Spirit of God to bring into order.

Once a plant is pruned back, it will produce greater fruit. It will accomplish what it was designed to do, and it will complete its cycle. In these Scriptures God designates that even that which produces fruit must be allowed to rest.

As Christians, we must occupy, be pruned and produce fruit. But, we also need to learn to come to a place of rest in our relationship with God.

Prayer: Lord, we thank You for Your grace. You are faithful to show us love and grace by pruning us. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Been Thinking....

2009-11-20T09:26:00.002-06:00

This is a very tricky time of year for us survivors out there to say the least, so I thought I might share some of the struggles I have getting through it.

It seems that although I love the changing of the seasons, especially in the fall with the colorful foliage and such there is always an underlying dread as the fall days roll into winter.

On top of that I have a birthday in December that always throws a challenge in with the mix.

During the fall months approaching winter, passing Halloween,winter solstice, Christmas etc.... well it can be rough. This is the time of year when rituals were hard and heavy for us survivors of the satanic system and it seems that in spite of our faith body memories, flashbacks and just plain uneasiness can creep in and stop us in our tracks at times.

I always want to think that this will be the year when I will be over all of that and sail right on through with out even a whimper. But alas... it has not happened for me yet.

Does that mean I am a failure in the faith? Does that mean I have backslid into unbelief and fear? No I don't think so. While I do feel uneasiness and moody and at time downright angry pushing into what feel likes a mini meltdown I do not believe I have failed somehow and given into any major fear. I am human, period. I have survived trauma that most can not imagine and in spite of my faith, my mind and body often seem to have memories and feelings I can not control.

I know for a fact that anyone who survives from any kind of trauma has these feelings at times and struggles to get through them as best they can. We are still in these heavy flesh bodies and because of that, the weight of past sin can still effect us in sometimes major or minor ways. It is not because we have failed somehow or because we have lost our faith, it is only because we are human. And although the Father has healed me in many wondrous ways I am still a pretty scared and damaged human being...my hope is in that He loves me anyway and will see me through the process called life and use me in spite of all my brokenness.

Another thing I do know as I walk through these hard times during the year, is that it reminds me how much my Father and Savior have delivered from. I might have to deal with and feel the collateral damage of days past but I am not living there anymore. I am free....and even if my mind and body seem to forget that at times... my spirit knows it is true and that gives me the faith and strength to push on through.

So please do not beat yourselves up out there if you are having a rough time of it. You really are not alone. Not only do us other survivors understand and walk this same walk, the Father understands as well and He is walking right beside you holding you up at times when you are too weak to go on.

Remember all it takes is a small grain of faith the size of a mustard seed to know He is always there and has your back covered. Think about it...how small is a mustard seed? Pretty small, so we do not have to have big faith to stand.... only a little seed.

Love and prayer for all of you out there....

Judy

Another Thank You....

2009-11-17T16:32:00.003-06:00

Thanks once again for the encouragement and prayers from all you dear brothers and sisters in the faith....

I have had a huge blessing this week. My youngest son came to see me after not seeing him for over two years. We are having a nice visit and time together.... I believe this happened in part because so many of you have been praying so faithfully for me and my family. What an encouragement this has been for me and hopefully for you all as well. I just had to share this miracle with those of you who care so much....

Now for the next message from Gentle Shepherd....

Many blessings and prayers for you all....

In Christ Jesus,
Judy

Reading: Matthew 3:9-10

THE AXE TO THE ROOT

We have been considering what it means to be pruned. We have considered the type of seed and field along with the means in which real fruit is able to come forth.

When John the Baptist came, he warned the religious people that an axe was being taken to the root of the tree. In other words, it was not a pruning job, but one of total destruction. The old was not working, the roots of the religious system had been defiled by the many burdens of men. Granted, the roots were many, but they could not bear the type of fruit that would honor God. They only entangled people into an insidious web of demands that lacked any eternal mark, inheritance or identification.

Although some of these roots pointed to God’s Law, the Law could not save. It was holy, but it could not make men righteous. It was just, but it could not offer pardon. The Law could only condemn, never justify. Although it was part of the entanglement of the root system, it had been defiled, used and abused by the religious leaders to serve their own purpose.

John the Baptist made it quite clear that this root system had to be destroyed. Obviously, such a root system did not cause men to grow in their life in God; rather, it entangled them into useless religious activities that would end in death.

Clearly, we must ensure the integrity of our life in God to maintain a healthy root system that is rooted in Jesus Christ. This is the only way we can be assured that we are pruned and not rooted out in utter judgment.

Prayer: Lord, I do want to be rooted in You, pruned by the Father, and established by Your Spirit. I want to produce fruit that will bring You glory. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

The Valley of Decision

2009-11-14T09:26:00.003-06:00

I am beginning to think I just might be at a crossroad in my life....

Am I going to go on fighting for the truth to be exposed.... am I going to push on in the faith and doing what I believe is right in my spirit no matter what I lose in the flesh?

I have recently had a stern warning from the dark side to stop doing what I am doing and either return to the dark fold or suffer the consequences....

While I am not afraid of their threats and warnings it has caused me to pause and take stalk in what I am doing and how I am presenting myself as a believer and follower of the Faith, representing my Father and His Son.

Am I presenting myself in a real, honest way? Am I leading people to Him in what I say and do? Am I doing all I can as a believer to serve, love and forgive others?

I can not say that I honestly do all of these things all the time. I often struggle with the flesh and find myself angry at God.... angry at the one I want to serve with all my heart.

Yeah.... I sometimes get mad at GOD....I often wonder why He has kept me alive at all. I am always fighting my flesh... I am always wanting things I can not have....My children, grandchildren, a home where I can plant a real garden and raise animals, a reason to paint again, etc. I often struggle with wanting more and feeling guilty for wanting it.

I love my hospice work and am grateful for it... I love the people I am allowed to care for. I love my husband and the blessings of the few of my children and grandchildren I am allowed to see and talk to and I love the critters I have been allowed to have. I love the few things I can grow in pots and the chance to even be able to write this blog and try and encourage others.

But I have to be honest.... I struggle with my life. Growing up in abuse and Satanism and seeing death on a regular basis was not my idea of a wonderful life. I am still a human and a woman and I have dreams and hopes like everyone else.
I have always tried to be optimistic but I am a realist as well. I have days when I see the glass half full and many days when I see it half empty.

I guess what I am trying to say here today is... I am human, I am real, and please no one out there ever think that I am perfect and always feel strong, standing on a mountain shouting praises to the Lord. My Father often gets my rants, my questions and my cries. But He gets the real me.... I know He loves me anyway. I know He already knows how I feel and He loves me anyway....all of me...in the flesh. Just like He created me.

So that is all for today...thanks for listening..

Judy

Reading: Joel 3:12-14

THE VALLEY OF DECISION

Pruning brings separation. For example, there is a separation from that which is dead in our lives. It brings clarity as to what our real purpose is. We are not here to please ourselves, but to bear fruit for the good pleasure of the one who owns and oversees us.

We have been considering how pruning and preparation can become points of testing. Sometimes we are to walk in the fields of humanity, other times we are to take the very tools we may use in the harvest and use them as weapons against the enemies of God and His people. Sometimes we are called to fight the battle that rages in our own souls.

In Joel, it is talking about the war that is coming at the final countdown to judgment. There will be no pruning, just the impending reality of war and judgment.

The judgment will be full and complete as the sickle is put into the harvest of humanity. The separation will be obvious, as multitudes must face their own crossroads as to what side they will choose.

The harsh reality is that people already stand at these crossroads. They may not see the impending war, but there is an impending judgment that awaits them. They stand at the crossroads as to what path they will take. Will they take the broad path to destruction or the narrow path to denial, death and resurrection?

As those who are coming to maturity, we must recognize these crossroads. The best way to discern a crossroad is that a struggle between the flesh and the Spirit will ensue. The question will be between having our way or giving way to what is right and acceptable to God.

Prayer: Lord, we stand at a crossroad when it comes to wickedness and righteousness. Lord, give me the resolve to choose the narrow way. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Hello,Hello, Hello.....

2009-11-11T18:26:00.002-06:00

Tis me, just checking in.... Your friendly neighborhood blogger.

My Internet has been a bit cranky this week so that is one reason why I have not posted much.

Not a lot to say just yet but I do have to say this....

Praise the FATHER for all HIS wonderful mercy and blessings on each and every one of us!!!

So with that... on with the Gentle Shepherd ministry postings....

Reading: Joel 3:10-11

PREPARE YOUR WEAPON

As we come close to the end of our discovery of what it means to be pruned by God, we need to remember that life will break us along the way. In other words, life has a way of knocking the stuffing out of us. This stuffing is our pride. We can never know peace or preparation without facing the wretchedness of our pride.

In most cases the biggest battles are with our flesh and pride. We must kill or mortify the influences and deeds of the flesh outright, but we must neglect the claims of pride. Much of the pruning that God does in our lives has to do with the useless branches that represent self, the flesh and pride in order to bring forth His life.

In the beginning of my initial journey into the world, I had a very high opinion of myself. I thought I had the world in my hands. However, my encounter with the reality of life quickly showed me I did not have it figured out. I was not on top of life, rather, I found myself being a victim of circumstances I had no control over.

This was my first harsh reality that life was not subject to my whims, and I could not control what it brought my way. In so many ways I felt like I was a small object on the ocean of life, and I had to accept where the waves of life sent me. It seemed hopeless to me. I had no say about the currents I often found myself in.

It was in this state that I discovered Jesus. Granted, life puts us in the midst of the ocean of humanity, but Jesus is our Savior and capable of bringing us through each wave and storm that life brings our way. However, in this struggle with the different challenges of life, we also must recognize the battle that rages in our soul as to who will win the ultimate position of lord and master in our lives.

In such times, there will be no pruning, just a tremendous struggle. One of the tools that turns into a weapon for the Christian is the Word of God. It is not a weapon of defense, but an offensive weapon that will not only expose the enemy, but also has the capabilities of defeating him.

The challenge is we must learn how to properly use this weapon. It will prepare us to face the uncertainties of life in the power of God. His Word not only prepares us, but also will allow us to stand when life’s storms challenge our very existence.

There is a time to be pruned, prepared and made ready to stand in the midst of the challenges of life, but the real key is to learn the lessons of life. It teaches us, as well as confirms that God is the source and solution to all matters pertaining to life.

Prayer: Lord, You are our solution and hope. If we are willing students, life will teach us the lessons of wisdom, hope and eternity. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Learning War

2009-11-08T08:36:00.003-06:00

I don't have a lot to say today and I believe that when I don't feel moved to say anything to just be quiet.
So with that I am posting a very timely Gentle Shepherd snap and continue where I left off last week with that thread....

Love & prayers,
Judy

Reading: Joel 3:9

LEARNING WAR

The world is winding down to a climax—that of war. Sadly, the world does not know how to live in peace. Many who seek power and are aggressive, only learn how to war against others. These individuals rage against what they do not agree with or will serve their purpose. They may do it in the name of religion or great causes. However, such raging has nothing to do with what is right, but rather with these people trying to establish their own reality under the dark cloud of sin and delusion. Therefore, people wage war against those who will not comply with them according to their particular reality.

The God we serve is a God of peace, but when His holiness is being opposed and defiled by the sons of disobedience, these individuals will find themselves tasting of His judgment or wrath.

The question is what must we as God’s people prepare to do in this time? As His branch, we must be prepared for testing. Testing will serve as a means to prune us. The greatest test will be learning to stand when war rages. We need to stand for truth so that there will be a light that is able to bring contrast, direction and hope to those in darkness. We need to stand in confidence of who our God is so nothing will move us from our life in Him. We need to withstand the onslaught that may come against us in faith, according to the promises of God.

It is in such testing that the quality of the fruit of our lives will be made obvious. The taste we must leave in people’s lives must be distinct and recognizable. They must know that we are standing for that which is righteous and acceptable to the Lord.

As Christians, we are called to live at peace with others as much as it is within our means to do so, but we cannot compromise with darkness at any point. Therefore, we must learn what it means to fight the good fight of prayer, faith and hope.

Prayer: Lord, we must learn to stand in You, while others learn war. Lord, prepare me to stand on You, regardless of how great the battle or conflict may be. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Continuing to rant..just a little bit, Part Two

2009-11-01T07:36:00.003-06:00

I got a great link on the same note as my rant yesterday from a brother in the faith... it is very worth the read and on the same line....

http://peacebringer7.wordpress.com/2008/09/25/the-myth-of-united-states-as-a-christian-nation/

He also has a great blog so you might just want to take the time to check it out while you are there.

I also have been thinking about what I wrote yesterday and I think I really need to clarify something about myself.

I grew up in the mess I ranted about. I believed the United States of America was the greatest country on this planet and was somehow superior. I did the pledge to the flag and sang the country worshipful patriotic songs. I bought the lie that we were something special and all the erstwhile blessings were our due. I felt very self righteous and full of national pride. I considered this 'Christian' nation somehow exempt from persecution and was suppose to lead the world the way to somewhere...never knowing just where. I did question at times but then felt guilty for that questioning and thought it was just because I was not right with God. I thought I just was not spiritual enought to really 'get' it.

So with saying all of that I have had to confess my sins and humble myself for the ignorant person I can be and have been many times. I am still a work in progress and therefore have not arrived in perfect knowledge and wisdom.
I am still fighting my way through all the muck of my past conditioning and it has been very painful.
It is hard to realize that everything I have ever been taught has been lies and delusion and that even now I have to repent often for continued ignorance I am finding in myself. I have to often check myself to make sure I am not switching self righteous coats and thinking I am all that, just because I have gleamed a bit of truth here and there.

But one thing I am finding out is that searching for truth is painful and comes with a price. You get no comfort zones in searching for truth. You also have more responsibility and accountability when you search for truth. It can be a heavy burden. Thank the Father I can cast my burdens on Him. If not for that I know I would sink in this world of grand delusions and muck....

So with that I am out of here for today...

Your sister in Christ who is always searching for truth and always being humbled by it....

Judy

My Rant for today..but from my heart!

2009-10-31T10:53:00.003-05:00

I do not know if I can write all the things that have been weighing on my mind as of late however, I feel as if I need to try and convey as much as I can.

I have been praying a lot about truth...the Father's truth not mans truth. As one of my dear sister's in the Lord always says to me...'Praying for the truth even if it kills me'. Well that is how I feel.

When I was doing the interview with Zeph a few days ago I remember talking about how Americans were always thinking they were so good and so self righteous. Like they deserved blessings and such even while they were killing unborn babies and destroying other countries and their children. Maybe not in exact words but something like that.

Anyway Zeph said something about how people came here for religious freedom and how blessed this country has always been and he might have just been looking for a response from me however, I think we got sidetracked and I really feel like I need to clarify what is on my heart about that line of thought.

What if this country was not founded as one nation under the one supreme GOD, the Creator??? What if that one god was a horrible luciferian government god? Lets think about this a little bit.

The founding father's of this country were masons....the establishment of this country was laid out on masonic principles with a layer of bible principles between the flaps.The whole of the Washington D.C. is laid out on a satanic grid and every government building in this country was build on cornerstones of masonic foundations.
The statue of Liberty is a goddess and the flag is loaded with satanic stars. The great seal is designed with luciferian trademarks and designs.
Even our money is covered with satanic symbols. So who is the 'In God we Trust' really referring too? Do you even think the real GOD the Father and Creator is a part of any of this?

OK, so now you might say 'What about all of the prosperity and freedoms we have enjoyed all these years in this country?' ' What about all of the churches on every corner?' Well lets just take a good hard look at that.

Yeah we have a lot to be thankful for in the country. We have an abundance of food...water....entertainment...and luxuries. We are so blessed.....
We are fat, lethargic, apathetic and greedy. We believe we do not deserve to hurt or experience pain of any kind so lets stayed drugged and entertained. We serve a god who endorses extreme self indulgence and greed and we believe that anyone who comes between our indulgences and greed should be branded a terrorist and shot.
The churches on all those corners are more concerned with numbers, money and entertainment and real sacrifice is not an option.Forget about tribulation of any kind, after all did not Jesus die so we could have it all?????

Do I sound harsh??? Well I mean too!!!!

All of the so-called third world nations that this country seems to look down upon are in a much better place then we have ever been here. They know that without true faith they would not be able to survive day to day. They know what a real relationship with the Father is all about. It is not about entertainment, money, houses, cars, greed etc. It is about breathing the breath of their very lives and depending on the Creator to do that.Their freedom does not come in form of a worldly government but in the freedom of the spirit that comes from true faith from the true Savior!

Have you ever thought that maybe all this religious self righteous christian religious stuff and all of this so called prosperity is nothing but an illusion?That maybe all the churches on all the corners, all the nice houses, cars, food, entertainment etc. is nothing but an illusion to get your focus off the true GOD... the true Savior.... the Truth Period????

What if this whole wonderful idea of the great USA is nothing but an illusion? The great Babylon? Maybe the GOD of the bible did not found this country at all....maybe it was the god of this world.
Do you really think the GOD of the bible is in this? Would He compromise so much? I think not! The enemy knows full well how to twist the WORD and use it for his benefit.

I could die in this country for what I just wrote. Call that freedom? And the ones who would hang me would probably be CHRISTIANS!!! But you know what? I do not care because my freedom does not come from this country and its institutions. It comes through the true Father..the Creator of the universe.... the true Savior.....my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. And what is truly free is free indeed!!!

Love & Prayers always....

Judy

Thank you!!!

2009-10-30T08:28:00.002-05:00

Thank you all yet again for all the response and support....it means a lot to me to get your comments and hear your responses to the interviews....Tells me it is not falling on deaf ears.

I have been thinking about something Zeph and I talked about during that interview. It was about this country being based on faith and being blessed. Well since I finished that interview my thought have gotten a clarity I feel I need to share with you all.

I have to leave town in a bit so I can not write what I need to say now but I plan on writing tomorrow and expounding on those thoughts.

You all have a very blessed weekend and be looking for my next post...it will be a very serious one to be sure...

Until then...
Love & prayers,
Judy

Reading: Isaiah 14:19-22

THE ABOMINABLE BRANCH

We have been considering Jesus as the Branch. In servitude, He became the Branch that now serves as an example of what it means to ensure that life comes forth in us. As the Branch of righteousness, He came forth as a king that brings with Him a rod of judgment. Jesus is clearly the Branch that later became the Vine. He serves as our contrast. Cut off at the point of the cross, he became the means in which God would redeem, cleanse and set apart those branches that abide in the Vine. The branches that truly abide in Jesus will bring forth the buds of everlasting life.

It is important to consider the contrast between branches. Jesus stands as the true Branch that came out of humanity. He alone stands as the true example of the Branch that will produce life that is lasting.

Now we are going to consider the opposite type of branch. This branch is considered an abomination to God. Jesus represents the best of God, but this branch represents the best of man. In this prophecy of Isaiah, he is speaking about Babylon . The Lord referred to this pagan nation as being an abominable branch that has been cast out of a grave. “Abominable” means to loathe, detest or abhor (SC #8581).

In considering this branch, we must recognize that it would face the same judgment it brought on other nations. This pagan nation showed no mercy, and trampled under its enemies without any regard. Likewise, it would be defeated. In fact, this nation was defeated in one night, and it would never rise again.

We are about to consider the final end to all branches that do not find their life and substance in Christ. What kind of branch are you? You need to properly discern your life and fruit.

Prayer: Lord, we do want to become branches that are established in You, knowing that You alone serve as our life and source. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

update....

2009-10-28T06:27:00.002-05:00

I will be doing an interview with Zeph Daniel today...it will be posted at his site sometime today as well.....I always pray that I will honor my Father the Creator and be a blessing to you all.

http://zephreport.podomatic.com/

A reminder that he has some really good interviews already posted there so be sure to check them out.

Lesson for today...

Reading: Jeremiah 33:14-17

EXECUTE JUSTICE

God is going to perform the very things He has promised. These good things will benefit His people. In this particular time of fulfilling His promises to Israel , the Branch of righteousness will come to maturity.
We have already pointed out that as the Branch, Jesus came in the disposition of a servant. He presented Himself in the position of a lowly king, but in this Scripture, we are told what His responsibility would entail when it came to executing judgment and righteousness upon the land.
In John 5:22, Jesus stated that His Father had committed all judgment to Him. As the branch of Righteousness, Jesus will become the rod of judgment. He will execute judgment upon all who refuse to believe and obey Him. It is in such justice that peace and safety will reign.
Amazingly, much of the world claims it wants peace. However, it strives to have peace on a diplomatic level in spite of the various environments of oppression that exist within countries and nations. Individuals who strive for this fragile peace try to force people to accept peace without war. But, as we consider that Scripture tells us such peace and safety can only be present when there is justice, we realize just how fragile such a peace is. Sadly, peace without truth and justice always prove to be a façade that hides tyrannical control and oppressive governments.
We are told in the Bible that one of the fruits of this self-serving, wicked world would be lawlessness. When lawlessness reigns, people live in fear. They have no peace because there is no safety to be found. The reason safety is far from such an environment is because there is no justice to confront the lawlessness of people’s foolish, immoral and irresponsible ways. Since there is no real justice to be found, lawlessness reigns, breaking down the resolve of the people to possess hope for what is fair and just.
God is righteous; therefore, He is just. When Jesus reigns, there will be justice, peace and safety in the land, for His rod of judgment will put down all lawlessness.

Prayer: Lord, we are called to be just and honorable, Forgive us if we live in the lawlessness of our own arrogant ways. Show us the way of Your righteousness, judgment and peace. Amen.
©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.
http://www.gentleshepherd.com/
Questions or comments welcome. Email: http://us.mc800.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Announcements....

2009-10-26T11:08:00.004-05:00

Hello All,

I have an announcement to make...

Zeph Daniel interviewed Ronnie McMullen on podcast a few days ago..great interview..my Internet actually let me listen to it with only a few glitches...

The interview can be heard at Zeph's site .
http://zephreport.podomatic.com/

Zeph also has a lot of other interesting things to listen to so please go check it out.
Also I will be doing an interview with Zeph this week and will let you know when it is posted.

Remember Ronnie's sites.
http://thepropheticwatch.com
http://ufoencounterslive.com

Zeph and Ronnie are two of my favorite brothers and I feel very blessed to do interviews with them.

Now a couple more entries from Gentle Shepherd....

Reading: Isaiah 61:1-2

THE SPIRIT SHALL REST ON HIM

We have been talking about Jesus as the Branch. How many branches do we see about us? They sway in the wind as each season challenges the source of their strength and life. The tree, or the vine, must have a strong root system in order to maintain the very existence of the branches, but the branch must have the sustaining power to abide and maintain its connection to the source of life.
Jesus came out of the stem of Jesse. He came forth out of the root ordained and maintained by heaven. He would grow into the Branch that would be used by the Father. But, first He had to be identified and empowered in His humanity.
John the Baptist explained how he was to recognize the Messiah:
“…I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and it abode upon him. And I knew him not; but he that sent me to baptize with water, the same said unto me, Upon whom thou shalt see the Spirit descending, and remaining on him, the same is he who baptizeth with the Holy Ghost. And I saw, and bare record that this is the Son of God” (John 1:32 -34).
The identification for the Promised One was the Holy Spirit descending on the Anointed One at His water baptism. The prophet Isaiah confirms this. He said of the Messiah that the Spirit of the LORD would rest on Him. With the abiding presence of the Spirit on the man Jesus, He was confirmed as the Messiah. He would walk in wisdom, understanding, counsel, might, knowledge, and in the fear of the LORD. He is our example. We need to walk in the abiding presence, power and riches of the Spirit.
As we grow in the knowledge of our Lord, we will understand what it means to be a branch. All life, power, wisdom, and purpose come from above. This is why our faith must reach upward and not inward and outward. Such a reach will allow us to consider the divine purpose and working of God that needs to take place in our lives. After all, it was true for Jesus in His humanity; therefore, it is true for us.

Prayer: Lord, we are so limited by our human focus, but we do have priceless examples that reveal Your perfect ways to us. Amen.

Reading: Jeremiah 23:5-6

A RIGHTEOUS BRANCH

Jesus is the Branch and from Him will come the life that will produce a gigantic tree. This tree will be a resting place, providing shade, and where fruit and strength reside. We know that this tree represents the kingdom of God .
In Zechariah we learned that Jesus came as a servant. In other words, He came in a position of servitude in order to come into submission to the plan and will of the Father. As a servant, He served as an example to us as to the type of attitude we must have, as well as the type of life we must learn how to live.
Jeremiah presents Jesus as a branch in another light. As already mentioned, Jesus is the Branch in which the life of God budded forth. This life represented His kingdom. Since the kingdom of God was going to be brought forth within the lives of men, there had to be a king to oversee it. We know God promised this king to King David. He stated He would establish the throne of David forever, as well as put a king upon the throne who would rule forever. This promise was in regard to the eternal kingdom being set up, as well as the future reign of the Messiah.
Jesus would clearly be king. He would not only be King of the Jews, but He would come back after His ascension as the King of kings, ready to be established on the throne of David forever.
This is also our glorious promise. The fact that Jesus is coming back is our blessed hope, but the other promise points to His righteousness being established from His throne throughout the earth. There will be justice, as well as prosperity, salvation, and safety.
The prophet Jeremiah summarizes that this branch will be called “The LORD our Righteousness.” As a branch in the kingdom of God , we must exhibit right standing with God and others. We must be honorable and just in all of our practices.

Prayer: Lord, our hope is in You, not in this present world. The world’s solutions are temporary, but You offer what is eternal. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.
www.gentleshepherd.com
Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Pruning Hooks...

2009-10-23T08:54:00.003-05:00

I can not say enough about how beautiful all the colors are this time of year.... I feel sorry for those who live in places where fall colors do not happen.

I guess I am one of those people who like things defined. That is why I like the changes of the seasons as it gives me markers of what comes next so I can prepare.

In the times a head I think we can see definite markers on the horizon. One thing I know is that being spiritually prepared is the most important thing for any of us. If our faith is not in place and our relationship with the Creator is not on the right footing then all of the physical preparations are in vain. Faith casts out all fear... and the only true faith is the faith we have in our Lord and Savior.... He is the rock we can count on and the only rock we know that will not shift or cause us to stumble.

While you prepare in the physical be sure to make sure the spiritual is in order...the physical will parish but the spiritual will last forever....

Now blessings to you all as you meditate on the studies below....

Judy

Reading: Isaiah 18:4-7

PRUNING HOOKS

The reality of any plant or tree is that it must be pruned. We read that the people used an instrument called a pruning hook. This special tool involved a knife, but was also designed to prune the vine. God is faithful to use certain instruments to prune His people back to produce the fruit that is necessary for His glory.
This Scripture reveals that the fruit represents the labors of those who planted it. But, because of transgression the Lord is telling them that the creatures will partake of the fruit, and not those who planted the vine, for those who did the work will be scattered.
This prophecy was given to Ethiopia , but it needs to serve as a warning to us. We are laboring in the harvest field of humanity, but to partake of the fruit, God must designate and keep it for us. We must be reminded that God’s grace must be present towards His people, but His people must make sure that God can show His favor or grace towards them.
The Apostle Paul tells us how God’s grace is able to be bestowed upon His people in Romans 5:21: “That as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ, our Lord.”
Clearly, if sin reigns, people will taste the bitter fruits of death. The other source that reigns is grace. But, consider what it reigns through: righteousness. As His people, we must be in an upright standing to ensure that God’s favor towards us will reign in our lives.
In Isaiah’s prophecy to Ethiopia , we can see that God will use pruning hooks to cut back the fruit of the land, not to show favor to the people, but to allow the creature to reap the fruit of it.
As Christians we assume that God will show His favor towards us no matter how we are living, serving and worshipping Him. Clearly, Scripture shows us the contrary. God’s grace or favor can only reign through righteousness.
Are you in the position for God’s grace to reign in your life?

Prayer: Lord, Your grace is unlimited favor, but it must reign through our lives within the boundaries of righteousness for us to experience it. Have Your way. Amen.

Reading: Isaiah 11:1-2

THE BRANCH

We have been considering being a branch in God’s kingdom. Our source, life, and productivity come from the Vine of life. However, the Vine of life, Jesus, began as a branch in the midst of humanity. He came out of the root of Jesse. We need to consider His journey as the Branch for our own edification.
Need to grow: In His humanity, Jesus had to grow. His life was connected to heaven. His ways were right, and through suffering and obedience, He was brought to perfection in His humanity. It is important to recognize that He grew in His humanity because He was in subjection to the Father.
The Spirit was upon Him: In His humanity, He had to be set apart and identified. The Spirit of God came upon Him to identify Him as the Messiah, and set Him apart to do a work. We can see this identification take place in the form of miracles, and we see Him set apart by His attitude and ways. We need to be identified as Christ’s followers by the presence and power of the Holy Spirit working in our lives.
Insight: Since the Spirit of God was upon Him, He would be endued with wisdom, understanding, counsel, power, and knowledge in the fear of the Lord. Obviously, in His humanity, He needed the very wisdom of heaven to walk in understanding as our counselor, as well as in the power and knowledge of God. He had the necessary attitude that ensured His meekness and humility to carry out His mission.
As Christians, we need to take note of how the Branch of heaven, Jesus came out of the root of Jesse. We need to consider the environment the Branch developed in, as well as the type of life that came out of His side when He was offered on the cross.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for being the Branch. We can trust the life that has budded forth through Your redemption. Amen.

Reading: Isaiah 60:21-22

HE PLANTED THE BRANCH

We are clearly reminded who plants and grows everything in this present world and in the kingdom of God . As believers, we are looking forward to a time where everyone around us will be deemed righteous. The righteous will also inherit what God has for them. The reason why is because God will do the planting. In fact, two thousand years ago, God planted a branch. That branch grew up among humanity. His name is Jesus Christ.
Today, there is a lot of planting going on. The problem is the source of life that is being planted. God plants everlasting life in people through His Son, Jesus, but there are those who are claiming to be planting the life of Christ, but they are actually planting their own idea of life. The people that blindly follow these individuals are unable to recognize that these “leaders” can only produce a counterfeit or perverted concept of life. It might look like life, but it possesses only the seeds and ways of death.
It is hard for some people to realize that life only comes from God. The other aspect of this life is that it cannot come from just “any old god,” it must come from the God of the Bible.
The Bible is clear there is only one true God by nature. He alone is the essence of true life, and is the only one capable of producing this life in others. Although our politically correct society frowns on the concepts that there is only one true God, and only one true way to heaven, but these declarations of truth will never cease to serve as the absolute standard. In the end, such truths will stand when all other gods, beliefs, philosophies, and ways fall at Jesus’ feet.
The other aspect of our God is that He can take a little branch like Abraham, and produce fruit a thousand-fold. He can take a small branch like David and produce a strong nation. He also took an unlikely branch in the form of His Son, and provided salvation for all who will believe.
Keep this in mind the next time you think you are insignificant in the scheme of things. Let God have your life and strength, and you will discover His strength and power.

Prayer: Lord, You are the essence of true life; therefore, I choose You as my source. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.
www.gentleshepherd.com
Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Becoming a Productive Branch

2009-10-21T09:24:00.004-05:00

I have a few things to share with you all today so I guess I better get too it.

First off if you have not taken the time to read my last post with Ronnie's article please do so...

Next I am posting some info on keeping you all healthy in an unhealthy world.... and then I will continue the posts from Gentle Shepherd....

I will probably be writing a blog article soon..I can feel the urge starting up in my fingers...HA!

Have a blessed rest of the week....

Judy

Dr. Vinay Goyal is an MBBS,DRM,DNB (Intensivist and Thyroid specialist) having clinical experience of over 20 years. He has worked in institutions like Hinduja Hospital, Bombay Hospital, Saifee Hospital , Tata Memorial etc.. Presently, he is heading our Nuclear Medicine Department and Thyroid clinic at Riddhivinayak Cardiac and Critical Centre, Malad (W).

The following message given by him, I feel makes a lot of sense and is important for all to know:

The only portals of entry for the H1N1 virus are the nostrils and mouth/throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible to avoid coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).

2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).

3. Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don't trust salt). H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don't underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4. Similar to 3 above, clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water. Blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.

5. Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C. If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.

6. Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can. Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

Reading: Proverbs 11:28

BECOMING A PRODUCTIVE BRANCH

We have considered the Vine, now we must consider what it means to be a branch. The branch is simply an extension of the vine. It will not produce like branches, but fruit that represents the vine. The branches do not speak of themselves; they remain silent as the fruit speaks of the vine.
The reason branches do not speak of themselves is because they are not the source of life. They are simply the connection between the life of the vine as it produces the fruit, while its very life flows through the branches.
In religious zeal we can forget this reality. We think that, as branches, we are something special, but without the Vine we are nothing. It is vital that we keep this in mind. The life comes from the Vine. As branches, we are as dependent on the Vine, while the type of fruit that comes from our lives depends on our heart condition. In fact, the Vine not only gives life to the branches but purpose. The very life of Jesus is what buds out from the branches to produce the fruit. Therefore, we must allow all of our strength to be channeled and spent out to ensure fruit is produced to honor Him.
Solomon in his wisdom referred to people as branches. He gave us insight into what it would take for us to become a branch. It takes righteousness. We must become upright in our lives towards God to flourish like a branch in God’s vineyard.
This brings us to a walk of faith. We must walk by faith to flourish like a branch that is prepared and capable of producing fruit.
What about you? Are you flourishing in your life in Christ because of Your faith?

Prayer: Lord, You are the Vine, but it is in Your righteousness that I will flourish like a branch. I do desire Your righteousness. Amen.

Reading: Zechariah 3:8

MY SERVANT

The amazing part about the revelation of Jesus becoming a branch was a mystery that was veiled to the eyes of those who failed to walk by the simple faith of a child. Such people will never see the revelation of this mystery because of unbelief. They are blinded by the darkness that is in this present world. They will never come to the realization of who God is nor will they discover how to love Him. The reality is they prefer to choose another god and follow their particular concept of their idol, but they will never have that living witness of the true God.
As we follow Jesus as the branch, we will see the part He played in our redemption. We will follow the Branch as He progresses from being a stem of Jessie to becoming the Branch that will be used up for the glory of God.
In this prophecy concerning Jesus, we see into His disposition. He will become a Branch in the Father’s hand. In order to do this He had to take on the disposition of a servant. Keep in mind the branch has no significance outside of the vine. In His humanity, Jesus had no significance outside of fulfilling the plan of the Father. The winds of the world would blow against His resolve to finish the course as the Lamb of God. Satan would use the platform of the barren wilderness to tempt Him to veer away from the plan. The noisome sounds of men mocking Him to step outside of His mission would also follow Him to the cross. However, He was firmly grounded into the very plan of the Father. Nothing would deter Him from becoming the Lamb of God.
The Word tells us that the Father would bring forth Jesus as His Branch, and as His servant. His very roots would reach into the corridors of heaven. His purpose would be ordained from the very throne of the Almighty. This Branch would be used by the Father to bring forth our redemption.

Prayer: Lord, we have much to be thankful for. You are the Branch that brought forth the eternal plan of redemption. Praise Your Holy name. Amen.
©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.
www.gentleshepherd.com
Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

What is truth?

2009-10-20T19:42:00.003-05:00

This is an article my brother and friend in Christ, Ronnie McMullen wrote. I thought it was very thought provoking and you all know how I love that !! I copied this from his site. http://thepropheticwatch.com/ .

Enjoy....

What is Truth?
By Ronnie McMullen

I shall start this article out with: What is truth? I mean, really! What is truth? Is it your truth? Is it my truth? Is it the truth? Here is the problem with Christianity, religion, our make-up (inner-soul), and how we live. Does anybody really have a definition for the truth? As it is written, Jesus says, "I am the way, I am the truth, and I am the life, and no one comes to My Father, except through me." So, we know that the Christ is the truth. Yeshua, or is it Jesus? Or is it . . .?? You see, people have different perspectives and different perspectives ignite different truths. But, what really makes a truth? A truth should be absolute, but I believe there is something else that defines truth. It is how we perceive. There are those that believe in Buddha, there are those that believe in Mohammad, there are those that believe in Jesus, there are those that believe in New Age, there are those that don't believe, and it is all based on how they see. . . the truth. Truth involves belief. Those that don't believe in a Savior, will believe to be agnostic. Maybe those in another country believe in Zen. There are those that believe that there is no Christ, but only Lucifer. (our New World Order believes this, and this is the weakest of all beliefs) But if we find out what absolute truth really defines as, do we really believe in it? In other words, you believe in Jesus, but do you really? Do you believe in just a piece of Jesus? You may say, "no". But, the truth is, from my perspective, we all believe in a piece of the teachings of Jesus Christ. How can I say that? Just look at how many denominations rule this world. All denominations have a piece, belief systems have a piece and even satanism has a belief system within its walls. Not a positive belief system, but a belief system. If we understand this, then we understand there is power, even in a negative belief system. There is positive energy, ie: Jesus Christ, and there is negative energy. As I sent out my newsletter, my newsletter was surrounded by the subject "addiction to fear". What is fear? Is fear negative energy or positive energy? Who presides over fear? Why do we have fear? Is it possible that those that have fear, have not enough truth or belief? Is it possible that fear and its negative energy has overtaken the positive energy? It seems to me, and I am not a scientist, that it takes positive energy and negative energy to move objects; ie: a car. Is our faith system powered by fear or is our faith system powered by love? Do we give and love based on fear and negative energy? Or do we give and love based on positive energy? When we give or love, do we do it to receive? Or, do we do it, just because? And, if we love or give to receive, does this now turn to negative energy? It seems to me, in my humble opinion, when the subject is all about our self, when we do to receive, then, our number one thoughts would be, "What do we get?" Is this selfishness? Is selfishness negative energy? Let's just grab another perspective. Did Yeshua use His power from the Father for himself? Did He walk on this earth for thirty plus years under negative power or under positive power? Jesus entered into this world, and was a part of this world, but He was not of this world. Did the power of this worlds laws and physics apply to Christ and the task His Father gave to Him? Did He bow to the power that this world had to offer? Or did He rise above that power? Did He rule over that power? Obviously in the days of Jesus, there was a negative force, and that negative force was commanding man to rule by its power. (The Luciferian agenda) There has been a New World Order since way before the Bible era. A New World Order is not a new series of words. The law of God was given to this world, and man was to rule by its law. But, a New World Order implies that the law of God is not sufficient for man and that the world must exist away from the law of God and unto the law of man. . . or another god. Man believing (faith) his truth that he is god. This is their truth. This has crept its way into our churches as becoming "the truth". Ministries revolve around money and finances, which they call manna from heaven. But if you look up the truth of what manna really is, it is a white substance, like coriander, that has nothing to do with the financial state. We are told by Mega ministries to give all that you have, just as the widow's mite. The story of the widow's mite had nothing to do with giving all that you had, but had everything to do with the heart-mode. And this leads me to the core of this article. HEART MODE What is the intent of your heart? I use the word giving because when one gives, it takes that person away from oneself. When you give, you release yourself from the bondage of this world. When you give, unknowingly, (in other words, not just to friends and family) but you give to a place where you have no control, you are releasing yourself from the matrix of this world. Few can do this. In fact, few can give period, even to friends and family. Giving comes directly from the soul. Giving was based in the power of Yeshua. Giving is truly based in the power of the Father. In fact, and I truly mean fact, we would not live, breathe, see, smell, taste and so on, without the Father's gifts. You would not have your measly, pitiful job, you would not have a roof over your head, you would not have anything, including your speech. You would not have a brain, you would not have breath of life. Everything we are and have is because of the Creator. The Creator gave us our gifts, but the gifts have outweighed the Creator in today's worldly show. Few follow the Father and know that He is the Creator. We would rather hold on to our books, to the memories of what we were told by another man, than to hold on to the truth that is deep within our soul. We do know what is wrong and what is right, but you become what you practice. Practice selfishness and become selfish. Practice greed and you become greedy. Practice anger, you become hateful. Practice lies, and you become a liar. And when you do not give, you have opened the door to darkness. What is truth? I believe truth is absolute and directly from the Father. But, my truth says that that is my perception. Your truth might say something different. It's too bad "the truth" could not be a standard practice for all, with only one perception. Instead, there is "our truth" based on perception, confusion and knowledge or lack of knowledge. This is why there is such a great division among people and among people that are in the faith. I challenge you to start with the absolute truth and use writings to confirm that absolute truth within your soul. Most of our knowledge comes from memory from books. Very little of our knowledge that we have learned, have we truly learned from the Spirit of God. Take away our books, you take away everything. My question to you is, What about when we learn something that does not conform to a book? Do we call it a lie? Do we call it the devil? Do we call it. . .? Our mind, as I've said in my radio shows, run on an average of 8%. Is God a moron that He will not enlighten us to the other 92% sitting upon our shoulders? And, what is that 92% called? Truth? Lie? Perception? Do we know? I want to challenge you to search your heart for the Spirit of God. If you are in the box that the religious leaders have labeled "truth" , you are in bondage. I believe the Lord would say to you, There is no box. And that is His perception. That is His truth. That is "THE TRUTH".

The Beginning of Discipline

2009-10-16T08:57:00.005-05:00

We got a new member of our family...a puppie!! We are so excited because we lost out two beloved dogs several weeks ago. Anyway thought I would share the news.... : )

The sun is finally coming out this morning..yeah!!!! A pretty cool breeze however, letting us know winter is at the door. The leaves are changing ..so beautiful!

Today's entries are very good..as usual... so please take the time to study them...

Reading: Leviticus 25:3

THE BEGINNING OF DISCIPLINE

God must channel our strength. He does this through pruning off that which is wild and untamed. As you follow the progression of growth, there is the seed that must be planted in the ground. It must be nurtured or overseen by those who have been entrusted with it. Once the seed takes root and grows, eventually the plant or vine must be pruned.
Pruning means to cut away branches that are wild and to cut back the branches that are good. This is the only way to ensure healthy fruit. Otherwise, you may end up with fruit, but it will lack the quality that is beneficial to God and others.
It is important to point out that all fruit reveals something about the seed, the ground, and the one who is overseeing it. Pruning is a vital discipline that keeps the wild aspect of the plant at bay to ensure the quality of fruit.
The Lord was telling the people to plant their fields. For Christians, this means we must fulfill our commission to preach the Gospel. It is our way of planting the field. But, we also must oversee the establishment and growth of the seed. This involves discipling believers. Without fulfilling the second part of our commission, people define the Christian walk according to their old way of thinking, instead of according to the Word of God.
The result is that there are many wild bushes growing in God’s kingdom, and sadly the fruit is not the reproduction of Christ’s life. When people partake of it, it proves to be of an inferior quality that has a mixture in it. The key is discipleship. We cannot properly disciple others if we have not been discipled.

Prayer: Lord, I need to be discipled by Your Spirit in accordance to Your word. Bring forth the proper spiritual discipline in my life. Amen.

Reading: Luke 14:26-27

Reading: Isaiah 5:5-7

I WILL TAKE AWAY THE HEDGE

The vineyard that ends up producing wild grapes after it has been prepared to produce acceptable fruits will have to face the judgment of God. Of course, we are talking about our personal lives. As Christians, we are the fields or the vineyards of God. We have had the necessary investment. After all, the vineyard of our life was bought and paid for by Jesus. The Word has ploughed up the fallow ground of our hearts. The Holy Spirit has brought the necessary nutrients to our lives to ensure fruit. Therefore, there is no reason why God’s vineyard should not produce fruit. There are no reasons but one, and that is unbelief.
The biggest problem among God’s people is that they do not believe. This is why there is such a mixture. If people do not believe Him, they will become thorny towards truth, and lack justice in all matters. They will oppress others, rather than maintain and uphold righteousness. Consider what God is going to do with such a vineyard.
Take away the hedge: A hedge serves as a boundary of protection. God will simply remove His protection and grace from those who refuse to become a fruitful vineyard to Him.
Be broken up: Others will eat what is left of the vineyard after the hedge is taken away. Since there will be no further investment such as pruning in the vineyard, it will be broken up as it is trampled under and allowed to go to waste through neglect.
Hold back the rain: Without rain, there is no hope for recovery of such a vineyard. It will be left to utter desolation. This is the harsh reality of the life of those who do not regard God as their ruler. Wisely take heed to such warnings.

Prayer: Lord, we must have wisdom in all matters. We need to heed Your warnings to avoid utter desolation in our lives. Amen.

DISCIPLESHIP

The Lord Jesus is calling us to a disciplined life. This is what discipleship is all about. Without it, the untamed side of who we are will never be brought into proper order in God’s kingdom.
Discipleship is taken from the concept of living a disciplined life according to the example and teaching of the master. In the case of the Christian, Jesus is the master and Lord of the Christian life. It is the Apostle John who instructs us to walk as Jesus walked if we are going to abide in Him.
Discipleship is what connects us to the very life of Jesus. Granted, we must become identified with Christ in His death, burial and resurrection. But, we must connect to the very life of Christ if we are going to be connected to Him as our Vine.
Today, discipleship is greatly missing. People are being made converts to a certain way of thinking, while they are being made followers of other teachers or schools of thought. As a result, Christianity has ceased to be a way of living. Such a life can only come out of love for the master, devotion to His ways, obedience to His instruction, and wisdom in applying His examples to our walk.
Clearly, Christianity is a disciplined walk where the Spirit is in agreement with God, the soul is lining up to the ways of righteousness, and the body is occupying according to the direction of the Holy Spirit, and obedience to His Word.
What is Christianity to You?

Prayer: Lord, we forget Christianity is not a matter of religion, but it is a way of living and walking through this present world. Give me Your wisdom to walk in Your ways. Amen.
©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.
http://www.gentleshepherd.com/
Questions or comments welcome. Email: http://us.mc800.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=ministry@gentleshepherd.com

The Choicest Vine....

2009-10-13T08:42:00.004-05:00

Good morning to you all out there....

Man are we getting rain and more rain! I thank the Father however, because I have been in a drought and I prefer rain to that.... but I do miss seeing the sun. Fall is setting in and the gleams of winter are already in the air.

Remember to enjoy the cool breezes and the colors changing and take the time to praise the Creator for both. This may be a hard time for you survivors out there but GOD is still in control! Do not give into the fear that this season can evoke.....if you choose to live in fear then you will die in fear....and I am not writing this blog and putting out my testimony for any of you to die, but to find life....peace.... hope.... and love through our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus. The Real Jesus!!!

Love & prayers,

Judy

Reading: Isaiah 5:1-2

THE CHOICEST VINE

We have been talking about the adverse effect that remaining wild and in an undisciplined state will have on character, purpose and fruit. In Isaiah we see God trying to woo His undisciplined people back to Himself. He even devised a song for His beloved people concerning His precious vineyard. In this case, Israel was being referred to as His vineyard. He had lovingly planted this nation of people in a fruitful land, the Promised Land. He referred to this land as a fruitful hill. The hill reminds us that these people were preferred and exalted over the pagan nations. Since they were exalted, this field was to serve as a means for God to admire, preserve and honor His work among them.
It tells us how the Lord fenced Israel in. In other words, He dug the ground to plant the vineyard. He chose the choicest vine to ensure its survival, health and fruit. He even built a tower in the midst of it to watch over it.
When we think about the tower in the people of Israel ’s midst, we could relate it to the Law that truly set Israel apart. It even could be the temple that distinguished these people’s calling and purpose to worship and glorify Jehovah God. However, we know that the Bible refers to God as our high tower. Clearly God placed Himself among the people through the Law, as well as placed His name among them as a testimony through the temple.
It was also stated that a winepress was established in their midst. The winepress could be the Law that clearly established judgment among them. However, the reason God put a winepress in the vineyard was to bring forth the fruit of the grape.
As we consider this picture, we can see how the Church also makes up the vineyard. In the middle the vineyard God placed the choicest Vine, Jesus Christ. The Living Waters were uncapped to flow through His vineyard. The Word of God was set forth in order to cultivate and nurture this field. Obviously, there is no reason why God’s people are not producing quality fruit that will bring honor to Him, unless they are still maintaining wild dispositions that refuse to be tamed by His work.

Prayer: Lord, You have done all You can do to bring forth fruit from Your vineyard. However, as Your people, we must maintain Your life in us to ensure the quality of fruit that comes forth. Amen.

Reading: Isaiah 5:3-4

WILD GRAPES

We have been talking about those things that are untamed or wild. When we consider that which is wild, we think of those things which are not disciplined. God is clearly a God of order. He works within structure that ensures order and completeness of a matter.
In these scriptures, Isaiah is speaking to the inhabitants of Jerusalem on behalf of God. God had established a vineyard, Israel . He had invested much in this vineyard. The fruit of it was to bring glory to Him.
Instead of this vineyard producing quality grapes, it produced wild grapes. How could this be? The reality is that there was a mixture that defiled the vineyard. Without the proper structure, the vineyard produced wild grapes.
What happened to the vineyard? It is easy to figure out what the mixture involved. It involved idolatry. Idolatry is nothing more than man’s imagination. He imagines that a particular tree, a grove, some dough, a creature, or the sun has spiritual value. It represents something to him. Granted, the tree may look a certain way, the grove may give a certain impression, and the dough may be shaped a certain way, but that does not make it a god. It is man that gives an idol an identity that requires worship. As the Apostle Paul stated, it is vain imaginations that exalt themselves against the real knowledge of God. These imaginations are nothing more than fantasy that opposes, redefines or demotes the true God of heaven.
We must discipline our perception of God to avoid idolatry. We can exalt any god according to our own liking, but there is only one God who can save us from eternal judgment.

Prayer: Lord, we need to discipline our thoughts by bringing them into captivity to You. Lord, I know if it comes from my imagination, it is not of You. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.
http://www.gentleshepherd.com/
Questions or comments welcome. Email: http://us.mc800.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=ministry@gentleshepherd.com

I bid you peace for the week....

2009-10-11T09:17:00.002-05:00

How did you like the title of this blog? I thought we all could use a little peace whenever we can get it living on this planet. Since peace is a state of mind not a place, well.......I shall pass on the peace that passes all understanding and that is through Christ Jesus.....

I have been having a weird week.... not weird in that odd things have happened to me, (although odd things always seem to happen to me). What I mean is weird in that I can feel my spirit stretching in ways I am feeling a bit out of sorts with. You know kind of like when you start a new exercise program and muscles you have not used in a long while or maybe never before start to cramp and complain. You know it is a good thing but it is not always comfortable in the beginning.

I realize I am being a bit vague and maybe I will talk about it a bit more at a later time but suffice it to say....please keep me in your prayers.

I want to thank all of you who got to listen to my interview last night on UFO Encounters live, for taking the time to listen in. I think Ronnie and I are going to be doing a follow up soon. I will let you all know when.

I think Ronnie McMullen and Zeph Daniel are planning on doing something together as in an interview in the future as well and I will post that when I get the info. Ronnie and Zeph are wonderful to interview with.... They always step outside of the religious boxes... I love it!!!

Ok, so here is the next installments from Gentle Shepherd.... I think the two I am posting today are really good to ponder over a while.

Reading: 1 Samuel 24:1-6

ROCKS OF THE WILD GOATS

We are considering the ways of that which is untamed or wild. This story is about the difference between one with an untamed heart and a person who is seeking to learn even more about the disciplines behind God’s promises, faith and patience.
David was the man being prepared to be a future king through discipline in the midst of the rocks of the wild goats. Goats are interesting creatures. They seek high places or pinnacles to stand upon. It is not that they are seeking perspective; they want to establish an impression of independence and dominance. Even though standing on a high place does not give them the position they seek, it does allow them to feel independent and on top of a matter.
The one who fits the example of the wild goat was Saul. He gave the impression he wanted to please God, but he would maintain his independence behind the façade of devotion and dedication. Needless to say, God would strip away all outward facades to reveal an untamed heart. An untamed heart is an independent heart.
When you consider an independent heart, it produces a stiff-neck of obstinacy towards God and rebellious ways. It is always trying to figure a way around God in order to subtly exalt itself above Him, while looking humble and noble. The Bible does not refer to such a heart as independent, but proud.
King Saul’s heart brought him into opposition against God. He lost his right as king over Israel . He was turned over to an evil spirit that tormented him. In this case jealousy was driving him to destroy a righteous man.
Are you guarding your heart against independence?

Prayer: Lord, I Know my heart can become exalted against You, but my desire is to remain humble before You. Amen.

Reading: Isaiah 51:17-22

LIKE A WILD BULL

Going through the process of being tamed is not easy. It takes transformation of the mind, a change in the heart, and discipline of the ways. As we consider the undisciplined person, we can see why the Christian life is contrary to the unregenerate person who is not being tamed and trained by the Holy Spirit.
In these Scriptures God is trying to awaken Jerusalem from a drunken stupor. The reality of the people of Israel was that they were in a dull state. The things that drove them were fleshly. The young men were like wild bulls that were finding themselves entangled in a net. The more they struggled in the net, the more enraged they became.
The net was the people’s own doing. They had come into agreement with the unholy. As they became entangled in it, they became more insensitive to God. Now judgment would come upon them. As they struggled, they would become more and more aware of the net that was holding them.
The untamed man is insensitive to God. Such a person simply gives in to the ways of the flesh. Such ways entangle him or her into the net of judgment. This judgment ends in desolation, destruction, famine, and death.
The Lord does plead the cause for such people. The greatest point of His plea is the cross of Christ. It is not only God’s point of pleading with us, but also our point of discipline. The cross of Christ requires us to come into identification with Jesus, but it is also the greatest point of discipline of the untamed disposition within us. To tame our spiritual state and character means death to the old ways, famine to our pride, desolation of the old man, and destruction to our old life.
Is there a net around you, entrapping you, or have you been set free by the discipline of the cross of Christ?

Prayer: Lord, as Your people, we have been made free through the truth of Your cross. Keep me from once again becoming entangled in my old ways. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.
www.gentleshepherd.com
Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Question????

2009-10-08T08:43:00.002-05:00

Does anyone find it kind of creepy that NASA is planning on bombing the moon in the morning?

Has our government gone mad? I knew it was evil....but this is more then nuts.

All I can say is, make sure your house is in order....

So here is the next installments of our study from Gentle Shepherd...hope you are getting something out of me posting this...if anyone thinks I am wasting you all's time please let me know...otherwise I will keep on keeping on.

Reading: Judges 9:7-15

BRAMBLE BUSH

When we consider the life that is being established in us, and the One we must also grow in, we must realize that we are like a branch in God’s scheme of things. There is no life in the branch apart from the source. It must be firmly connected in the vine or the tree to have life.
It is from the branch that the life of the vine or tree is reproduced. When it comes to Christians, this life has to do with the inward character of the person. Inward character is based on the type of life that is flowing through a person’s being.
A good example that life varies according to the source and character of it is found in the story of the wicked Abimelech. Abimelech was the son of Gideon. He decided he was to be leader over God’s people. Instead of being a righteous judge, he chose to exalt himself as a wicked king. At this time, God was the King and man served as a judge.
Abimelech went to his mother’s family and conspired with them to kill the rest of Gideon’s heirs, and to pronounce himself as king. The plan was carried out, except for one heir of Gideon’s who escaped. This heir, Jotham, came back to pronounced judgment on Abimelech.
To bring home a point, he related the type of life that was in Abimelech with different trees and bushes. The olive and fig trees, along with the vine, would not give up the fruit of their satisfying work to reign, for that was not their purpose. However, the bramble bush, which is only good for being consumed in the fire, decided it could reign.
The bramble bush was symbolic of the life of Abimelech. The life, or his light, was the darkness of arrogance and would be good for nothing except to be consumed by the fires of judgment.
What kind of life is being developed in you?

Prayer: Lord, we do have some type of life flowing through our being. This life represents our source, as well as the type of life that is being brought forth. Lord, I want You to be my source of life. Amen.

Reading: Judges 9:22 -24

WHO WILL REIGN?

In yesterday’s devotion we considered the wicked ways of Abimelech. He desired to reign over God’s people. Yet, his desire was not based on calling, right or honorable character, but on pride.
Pride conspires with that which will encourage it to reign. It will walk over or destroy anything that is in its way. It will deal in cruelty towards others as it exalts its tyranny over those who are considered inferior. As a result, those who come into agreement with tyranny always will display the fruit of treachery.
The tyranny of pride will eventually be met with treachery. Treachery is equal to tyranny in its level of wickedness; therefore, it will prove a worthy opponent if conflict arises. It is wicked in character and deed. Amazingly, it only took three years for treachery to raise its head against the cruel indifference of pride. Once again, we see where treachery conspired against the cruelty it had been party to three years prior. Only now it was on the receiving end of pride’s cruelty.
As we watch these two wicked factions rising up against each other in the story, they basically end up destroying each other. They were consumed by the devices of their own wickedness.
We need to take note of such incidents. From this premise, we need to decide who or what will reign over us because it will influence the type of character that will be produced in our lives.
For the Christian, there should be one ruler—the King of kings and the Lord of lords. It is from His reign that all true character will be realized in and through our lives.

Prayer: Lord, I want you to reign over my life. I want your character to come forth in my countenance. Amen.

Reading: Hosea 8:5-9

THE DANGER OF BEING WILD

One of the main points of identification in God’s kingdom is order. The opposite of order is chaos and confusion. When we consider the perspective of being wild, we know that which is wild can only produce chaos in its attempt to survive. A wild rose bush will grow every which way, revealing that there is no order to its way, causing the roses to be devoid of real substance.
Samaria , the capital of Israel represented the spiritual condition of the people of the ten Northern Tribes of Israel. They were wild due to idolatry. There was no order to their ways, nor was there true worship to be found in any of their religious exercises. They had become lost in the spiritual mire of paganism and perversion. As a result, they were not made or established by God. Their whole way of life and worship was about to be broken by judgment. Of course, they would not turn back to God in repentance and restoration. Due to their stiff-neck ways, they were about to reap the whirlwind.
There is no foundation that will stand in the whirlwind of holy judgment. There is no life or bud that can be found in such ways. Any type of l ife will dry up and blow away as the winds of adversity rip through the desolate terrain of sin and death. As Scripture states, those who find themselves in the whirlwind of judgment will be swallowed up. As for Israel , they were taken to Assyria as slaves. For Assyria , it stood alone as a wild ass.
Assyria was the empire that brought Israel down into utter defeat. Untamed as well, this empire found itself alone as it clamored to control the known world. Eventually, this wild ass would be brought down by another empire. Like Israel , this empire would also reap a whirlwind as it was swallowed up in judgment.
This is true for all world empires. They all are untamed by their idolatrous, wicked, pagan ways. They may hit peaks of exaltation in their existence, but they will eventually taste the other side of judgment and desolation.

Prayer: Lord, we must be tamed by Your Spirit, disciplined by Your Word, and brought into line with Your character to know the majesty of Your power and life. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.
http://www.gentleshepherd.com/
Questions or comments welcome. Email: http://www.blogger.com/mc/compose?to=ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Grafted In

2009-10-05T15:19:00.002-05:00

Here is the next series of the Gentle Shepherd devotions....
Since I am a bit shell shocked about the word "Christian" anymore I am substituting the words "Believer's and Follower's of the real Jesus Christ".
But that is just me.....

Reading: Romans 11:23

GRAFTED IN

This month we will consider what it will take to come to full maturity in Christ. In Romans 11, the Apostle Paul talks about the fact that the Gentiles were wild and untamed by nature in the matters of God. As a result, they had to be grafted into the vine of life, which is Jesus Christ.
Grafted branches are very tender and fragile until they have established a complete dependency on the vine for its life. Once that dependency has been established, the branch is able to come to maturity in order to be an extension of the vine, and produce the fruit that ultimately will bring honor to the quality of the vine.
Our first reality as Christians ( Believer's and Follower's of the real Jesus Christ) is that we had to be grafted into the Vine of God. Without this procedure, we would become a worthless branch that would be void of any source of life. The grafting of our lives into the source of life is a matter of grace. Out of grace God grafted everyone who would believe in God’s provision of life into the Vine of life, Jesus Christ. We deserve to be cast with the rest of the useless branches into the fires of destruction. However, God provided a way for us to be restored in order to be productive.
The reality of being grafted in is that we now must go through the process of being tamed or brought under control. Keep in mind, we have a high opinion of our strength, but we must recognize that strength must be disciplined in order to produce the type of life that will bring glory to God.
As Christians (Believer's and Follower's of the real Jesus Christ), it is easy to forget that the Father has grafted us into the Vine. It was His favor and good will to do so. Therefore, we need to remain humble and meek to ensure we become a tamed branch in submission to the Vine.

Prayer: God, to ensure we become a tamed branch in submission to the Vine, we must remain humble before You. After all, we can get cocky because we forget how fragile and doomed we were until You picked us up and grafted us into Your Son. Amen.

Reading: Romans 11:24

WILD ACCORDING TO NATURE

In yesterday’s devotion, we learned that we were grafted into the Vine, Jesus Christ. As a branch, we have no lasting source of life. In fact, we were part of a wild olive tree (Adam) that had grown amiss. We were cut off from the tree in order to be grafted into a tree that was being prepared to produce fruit.
When we consider that which is wild, we are reminded of that which is untamed. There is no real direction or purpose in the existence of that which remains wild. I have seen this in rose brushes. When they grow wild, they go in every direction, but their roses are limited and lesser in quality.
The reality of all of creation is that it must be channeled to ensure its potential. As we consider the fact we were part of a wild olive tree, we will realize that we were allowed to go any way we had the inclination to do so. We went towards the ways of paganism, idolatry and death. The fruit that was being produced was unacceptable. The only way to save us from this destructive path was to cut us off from our wild source and graft us into a tree that is being taken care of by the husbandman who oversees the well-being of the garden.
Here we have the Father cutting us off of the wild olive tree and engrafting us into His Son. It is the Holy Spirit who continues to ensure the quality of the fruit. Once again, we are reminded that we should be trees of righteousness that grow straight in light of the Son of God.
As a grafted branch, are you being connected to the true Vine or are you still fragile and uncertain as to the source of your strength and life?

Prayer: Lord, thank you for allowing me to be grafted into You. You are the source of real, lasting life. Amen.

Reading: James 1:21

ENGRAFTED WORD

It is clear that we must be grafted into the Vine to have life. It is also important to point out that the main connection between the Vine and our lives is the Word of God. God’s Word connects us to the Vine in different ways. It is important to understand how it works. Let us now consider how the Word of God enables us to make the necessary connection.
Authority: The Word of God serves as the final authority as to what we are to believe. As we believe God’s Word is truth, it will connect us to the very reality of God. As the reality of God enlarges our perception of who He is, we can explore the depths, mysteries and revelation of His Word. This enables us to discover greater depths into God’s character and greater heights into His ways.
Cleanses: We know the Word also cleanses us from all unrighteousness so that we can be established in an upright life before God. Righteousness is also a connection into the ways of God. Without this connection, we will never learn His perfect way. After all, if righteousness is missing from a matter, a person will simply pervert or twist situations according to personal preferences.
Exposes: Finally, the Word exposes that which would hinder our connection to the Lord. It is a sword that can cut away any debris that would defile our connection. It is a fire that will consume any residues that would stand in the way of a pure relationship with God. It is a hammer that will break the backs of pride and independence.
According to James, God’s Word must be clearly grafted into the very fiber of who we are. This will ensure our salvation.

Prayer: Lord, we need to be grafted into You, but Your Word needs to be grafted in us. So be it!

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.
http://www.gentleshepherd.com/
Questions or comments welcome. Email: http://www.blogger.com/mc/compose?to=ministry@gentleshepherd.com

Becoming a Cultivated Field

2009-10-01T09:20:00.004-05:00

I am going to be sharing some Gentle Shepherd devotions a lot this month...I think it will be a good thing to share as they are starting a new series ..... I will be writing my own things as well so do not worry...Judy will still be adding her touch.HA!....

Anyway sorry about all the type O's on the article I passed on yesterday...I was not feeling so well and did not take the time to double check. I realized later there were a lot of typing errors.... sloppy on my part....should have been more careful. I hate to post such sloppy work.

Also a small announcement...I will be on http://ufoencounterslive.com Oct. 10th...here is the info on that. Hope some of you can listen in. I had kind of a hard time with this interview for some reason but I think it went off ok anyway. Maybe it was because it had been a while since I have done one.

10:00 - 11:00 PM MST Saturday nights

KOSS 1380 AM Palmdale, CA
KQYX 1450 AM Joplin, MO
WPLZ 95.3 FM Chattanooga, TN
KXIT 87.7 FM Amarillo, TX
KLAY 1180 AM Lakewood, WA
KZXR 1310 AM Yakima, WA
The Micro Effect

OK, so here is today's devotion from my dear sister's at Gentle Shepherd...

Reading: 1 Corinthians 3:9

BECOMING A CULTIVATED FIELD

We are starting a new month with a new theme. This month’s devotions have to do with the harvest. The whole purpose of our lives is to serve as a means to bring forth God’s fruits, as well as to reproduce like fruit in other people.
The Apostle Paul tells us we are God’s field. Our inner man serves as His field, but so does the whole Body of Christ. The first thing we must recognize is that it is God’s field; therefore, His concern. We are told that He is the One that truly is doing this work, but we are co-laborers in the great harvest field of the world with Him. Clearly, the work is a joint effort because our voice, hands and feet are an extension of Him in this great field of humanity.
As those who are growing in Christ, we must understand what it means to be God’s personal cultivated field. First, it means it is His investment to bring forth the fruit. It is this fruit that is meant to attract others to the kingdom of God .
The main worker in God’s personal field is the Holy Spirit. His tool is the Word of God. For the Word to have authority in our life, it must not only plough our lives up, but we must experience the spirit and life of it to possess its authority.
As we study the concept of being God’s cultivated field, you will realize the process started with channeling personal strength in order to be offered up as a sacrifice. It will take such sacrifice to become God’s personal cultivated field that is constantly being prepared to bring forth everlasting fruit.

Prayer: Lord, You are forever trying to leave Your impression on my life. I give way to Your Spirit. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.
http://www.gentleshepherd.com/
Questions or comments welcome. Email: http://us.mc800.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=ministry@gentleshepherd.com