Thursday, September 4, 2014

Running on Empty

Up and down, up and down...it seems that crazy Judy is always up and down. Will I ever level out? Will I ever make sense to myself?

I am one big question to myself. I really have no clue why I am still writing on this blog. I guess just the process of writing and knowing someone out there is going to read it is enough to ease whatever is pulling inside of me.

I feel so restless and unsettled inside. I sure wish I could run away from me for awhile. 

I lie awake at night and my mind goes over and over all the things I wish I had done or might have done different. But then I remember that was then and this is now. No going back to change things. I can not even seem to change things around me now. 

I walk into a room and wonder if it is me there or an illusion of my mind. I can feel pain but it always feels borrowed. Who is this Judy I live with? Is it really me or another illusion of my mind.

My life is here but I feel as if it has passed me by without even a nod. Sometimes I really wonder if anything has been worth it.

Maybe if I start running I will run into me and figure it all out. That is if I even exist.

Come on Celeste, help me out ol' girl...

As the famous words of Jackson Brown puts it,
Running on empty
Running blind
Running on empty
I am running behind....

1 comment:

Judy said...

I envy Joan...she is out of here!! But I am running into the sun for sure these days. I feel all burned up. But thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes a few words here and there is what keeps me taking one more step.

I am closing down this blog

Hey all I am closing down this blog in a few days. I will open a new one under www.multijlsworld.blogspot.com I will explain on that b...