My first 'new' rant...

Well you have all done me proud readers and blog followers. Seems you all do not mind my rants and the pouring out of my feelings and dealings with this planet and it religious craziness. And thanks for your support!!

So ok, I am going to start this off with the newest thing to set me off on the religious realm.

One of my friends, and yes she is a friend and she does mean well sent me a link to a web site that featured a girl around 18 who claims she died, went to hell and heaven and came back to scare the hell out of everyone so they will repent and not writhe in agony for eternity. What got me throughout the whole thing was all the fear laced through it. She claimed the God told her he was going to kill her at a certain time and while she was dead he was going to show her some things so she could warn others. There was a lot of scripture quoted and nice Christians knocking on her door to confirm what God had told her.

Oddly after she died God introduced himself as Jehovah,( I have serious doubts about that being His name) then she met the Holy Spirit and Christ. The Holy Spirit had a shape of a man and was walking around.(Odd) I am not sure who took her on the tour. Anyway first she went to hell where it was hot and dark and people were crying out to God to have mercy on their souls while demons poked and prodded them and worms were eating at their flesh. Her first encounter was the singer Selenia (not sure I spelled her name right sorry) and then Michael Jackson, Pope John Paul and various relatives along with rebellious children who watched too much TV, especially cartoons. The person who was giving the tour explained what they had done and why they were in hell.

Now I have issues all over the place with scenario. First off one of the holy three told her that hell was not made for man it was made for Satan and his demons. Well then why were the demons having such a grand time poking and tormenting the humans? Was this place created as a party place for them? I mean does that really make sense. They get to do what they love to do most while the humans writhe in agony. Put it this way..The demons/fallen angles whatever you want to label them were created in perfection, Lived with the Creator, chose to fall and rebel against GOD and then they get to party for millenniums. Then you have humans who are born into a world that is jacked up, kicked around from birth, live here a short time and if they do not get it right… (Find a Christian religion of their choice and follow all religious instructions) they get to roast and be tormented forever by the happy demons that hate us anyway and are doing what they love to do. Then we are told that in order to escape this horrible fate we need to love a God who would do such a thing to the creation He claims to love and fear him and spend our lives loving to fear him so we can avoid hell. But I do remember being told that the demons and Satan only have a short time to party and never question God as he has our best in mind. You say a short time to party? How many thousands of years do you suppose is enough party time for these sick creatures? I mean we screw up in less the say 80 years or so and we are toast. I am confused…..

Most of you who have read my story and that is probably all of you who follow my blog know what I have had to forgive and deal with in my healing.
I have to say in all honesty I am not a saint or perfectly wonderful person. I have faults. I probably say the S@*t word too much, I get angry too much, and I do a lot of things I am not proud of. Anyway, one thing I do know is that with all that has been done to me I never wish the same and more back to my perpetrators. My prayer is and always has been…. Father take um out!!! Just get rid of them, throw out the garbage. I do not get off with visions of fiery torment for ever on any human and the ones who are not human…well just destroy the mess. I cannot stand the thought of my perps being somewhere out there in the cosmos in any capacity. I just want them gone. Period.

Am I better then God? No way…. But if I can feel that way about the people and demons that hurt me then I figure the Creator of all probably feels a whole lot stronger about this sort of thing.
So to wrap this one up I will sum it up….

Torment in a place called hell for eternity if you chose not to serve God is fear based religion. I chose to serve The Creator of all because I love Him, not because I fear him. I do not want anyone to love me out of fear. Maybe there is a hell somewhere, hope I never encounter it but I am beginning to believe it is a place not so much connected with the Creator as it is with religion to scare the hell out of people so they will fall in line.

If you belong to the Creator you will want to do right, you will love Him, and you will have His moral code imprinted on your heart. He says He will never lose one of his own, so if you are lost eternally then stands to reason you were never His.
I have seen many people who have said the sinner’s prayer and gone to church religiously and were horrible. I have seen many who never said the sinner’s prayer or went to church and have a very close relationship with the Father. They do not need the fear of a tormenting hell to serve the one who put his mark on them and in their heart in the first place.

You can quote scripture all over the place at me on this one…but sorry I am not buying it. I have heard all the arguments all my life.

When I was talking to the Creator the other morning after reading this article that was when it dawned on me how angry I was at the Christian view of GOD…. I have spent a lifetime being afraid of the one who created me because I thought I would screw it up.

If Christ died to save us…. If he went to a place called hell to get the keys and spring his own out there…then what is the problem? Do you honestly think all your favorite bible characters in the Old Testament were being tormented and abused there before Christ came? What about poor old John the Baptist? He died before Christ. What is the motivation to serve this God? Who is this God that would condemn human kind to eternal torment for a few years on a crazy planet? What about all the people who never even heard of the Christian religion? What about all the people who love their Creator but do not believe in the Christian organized religion? What about me?

And while I am at it, what about poor ol’ Michael? In my humble opinion it didn’t look to me like he was having a picnic while he was alive. That man broke my heart everytime I saw him. I figure he was a mind controlled, trauma based victim pretty much all his life. My hope is that when he died, Christ came to him and reveled himself to Michael and finally Michael being free from all the mind control recognized his Savior and fell down at His feet, repented and loved Him and he was forgiven and loved back.
Now that is a GOD I can believe in.

Questions for my Readers

I have been thinking a lot about anger and unforgiveness.
Truthfully I thought I was pretty much through the anger stuff and forgiveness is always as ongoing process in anyone’s life however; the anger and unforgiveness that I have been having problems with has not so much been about my past physical abusers as it has been about my past spiritual abusers.

Lately I have found myself getting especially angry when I pass church buildings, or when Christians start toting their church lines and doctrines at or around me.
I find myself getting defensive to the point of being belligerent.
I am becoming more and more aware of how much damage has been done to me in the name of religion. It is like I am having a huge battle within myself over religious issues, phrases and beliefs.
The chip on my shoulder is growing and I do not like what I see growing there. My anger is right next to the surface and I get into a fighting stance anytime I even perceive a religious threat to my spirit.
Wow, what a revelation. Judy the survivor who has dealt with abusers by the tons, has cried buckets of tears and prayed for the strength to forgive my abusers is now fighting anger issues over Christian abusers.

There is so much I want to spew out about how I am feeling and so much I want to say about this issue that is eating away at me, but I am afraid I will scare my readers to the point where they will never read a word I ever write again. And I do not want to push away everyone I care about over this issue. But I do want to get through and past this issue so it will not be an issue anymore.
So I will start with this…

How many of you out there are having this problem? How many want me to keep writing until I write my way through this part of my healing? Yes this is another part of my healing and I would like to share it with you all but it could get ugly. Will you judge me when I write about things that are uncomfortable? Will you understand that I am just trying to understand and make sense of things myself?
If you all want me to keep on keep ‘in on with this one, let me know and I will go for it.

Thanks,
Judy