OK... so have I made a few of you uncomfortable?
Are you unsure about me now? Did I make you upset or mad? If I made you feel anything at all by my last post then please take the time to figure out why?
I wrote it to make you really think about what you believe and why you believe it.
Now with saying that I have to say this...
Yes there are definitives and absolutes...
One plus one always makes two... evil is evil... period and not much argument about that.
Love is amazing and hate can be destructive...etc... I am not here to argue about any of that. Mostly I want you all to really search within and think why you believe certain things and why you choose not to... no right or wrong answer as this is not a trick question.
I remember as a child seeing so much evil and hearing so many lies. I knew deep within my heart that murder was bad... child abuse was bad... hurting other people was bad. I knew these things to be absolutes... no argument in my soul about it.
I think the thing I am having so much trouble with now is all I heard at the pulpit being preached when I was a child and seeing those same satanists doing horrible things at rituals after hours. They also did horrible things just because they were evil and like being evil. I was often taken out of church during services to used and abused by the elders, the deacons, the people who were suppose to be serving God.
I also went to many churches after I left home and saw a lot of the same corruption and heard the same sermons preached. As a child I heard curses being flung out over the people in their 'tongue' language. I heard the same tongues being spoken at the churches who practice this belief in speaking out in 'tongues'. I tried to tell them what they were saying were curses but I was pushed aside and told I was the one being used by the 'enemy' to upset the flow of the 'spirit'.
I tried to warn people about the so-called anointed men of God .... I was told that they were Gods anointed but maybe they just got off course a little...and so excuses are always made for them. I was told I was going to be cursed for coming against these charlatans....I have been told I was the deceived one. How could these people be satanists? The Holy Spirit always flows in their meetings....sigh....??????
Who am I to argue? After all everyone knows the bible better then I do, especially these so -called 'anointed' ones. So if you choose not to believe me.... that is your right. And I have the right not not believe you. You have your definitives and absolutes and I have mine.
I do not attend any church anymore...and now I am being told I am wrong because I am forsaking assembling with my fellow ' Christians'. No... I do not think so but since I am not following protocol I am surly going to hell... backsliding... or whatever. Your absolute?
One thing I am sure about....my absolute... I can not go back into a church and join in. My assembling will have to be over the phone with believers across the country or by e-mail etc. I can not do the church thing anymore... it is too painful and it goes against what I know to be true. I do not believe in some building or membership or some preacher, etc.
OK , so.... I have been pondering a lot on the things I learned as a child. In church and out. It did a lot of damage to me no doubt. My family would be appalled at me lack of belief in most things religious. Especially the fact that I do not speak in 'tongues' anymore. I can not and be true to what I know in my heart.
I feel like a shell shocked person who went through the war.
I know 'your' church is different... I have heard this over and over...I am glad for you but I promise if I went there it would not be different for me.
So... we can argue absolutes and we can decided we are on opposite sides... or we can choose to love each other because of our differences. You can believe I am wrong...but you can also pray for me. You can also choose to love me anyway... but just do not try and convince me you have all the answers. I sure don't have them.
Now any comments????
Later,
Judy
