Been Thinking....

This is a very tricky time of year for us survivors out there to say the least, so I thought I might share some of the struggles I have getting through it.

It seems that although I love the changing of the seasons, especially in the fall with the colorful foliage and such there is always an underlying dread as the fall days roll into winter.

On top of that I have a birthday in December that always throws a challenge in with the mix.

During the fall months approaching winter, passing Halloween,winter solstice, Christmas etc.... well it can be rough. This is the time of year when rituals were hard and heavy for us survivors of the satanic system and it seems that in spite of our faith body memories, flashbacks and just plain uneasiness can creep in and stop us in our tracks at times.

I always want to think that this will be the year when I will be over all of that and sail right on through with out even a whimper. But alas... it has not happened for me yet.

Does that mean I am a failure in the faith? Does that mean I have backslid into unbelief and fear? No I don't think so. While I do feel uneasiness and moody and at time downright angry pushing into what feel likes a mini meltdown I do not believe I have failed somehow and given into any major fear. I am human, period. I have survived trauma that most can not imagine and in spite of my faith, my mind and body often seem to have memories and feelings I can not control.

I know for a fact that anyone who survives from any kind of trauma has these feelings at times and struggles to get through them as best they can. We are still in these heavy flesh bodies and because of that, the weight of past sin can still effect us in sometimes major or minor ways. It is not because we have failed somehow or because we have lost our faith, it is only because we are human. And although the Father has healed me in many wondrous ways I am still a pretty scared and damaged human being...my hope is in that He loves me anyway and will see me through the process called life and use me in spite of all my brokenness.

Another thing I do know as I walk through these hard times during the year, is that it reminds me how much my Father and Savior have delivered from. I might have to deal with and feel the collateral damage of days past but I am not living there anymore. I am free....and even if my mind and body seem to forget that at times... my spirit knows it is true and that gives me the faith and strength to push on through.

So please do not beat yourselves up out there if you are having a rough time of it. You really are not alone. Not only do us other survivors understand and walk this same walk, the Father understands as well and He is walking right beside you holding you up at times when you are too weak to go on.

Remember all it takes is a small grain of faith the size of a mustard seed to know He is always there and has your back covered. Think about it...how small is a mustard seed? Pretty small, so we do not have to have big faith to stand.... only a little seed.

Love and prayer for all of you out there....

Judy

Another Thank You....

Thanks once again for the encouragement and prayers from all you dear brothers and sisters in the faith....

I have had a huge blessing this week. My youngest son came to see me after not seeing him for over two years. We are having a nice visit and time together.... I believe this happened in part because so many of you have been praying so faithfully for me and my family. What an encouragement this has been for me and hopefully for you all as well. I just had to share this miracle with those of you who care so much....

Now for the next message from Gentle Shepherd....

Many blessings and prayers for you all....

In Christ Jesus,
Judy

Reading: Matthew 3:9-10

THE AXE TO THE ROOT

We have been considering what it means to be pruned. We have considered the type of seed and field along with the means in which real fruit is able to come forth.

When John the Baptist came, he warned the religious people that an axe was being taken to the root of the tree. In other words, it was not a pruning job, but one of total destruction. The old was not working, the roots of the religious system had been defiled by the many burdens of men. Granted, the roots were many, but they could not bear the type of fruit that would honor God. They only entangled people into an insidious web of demands that lacked any eternal mark, inheritance or identification.

Although some of these roots pointed to God’s Law, the Law could not save. It was holy, but it could not make men righteous. It was just, but it could not offer pardon. The Law could only condemn, never justify. Although it was part of the entanglement of the root system, it had been defiled, used and abused by the religious leaders to serve their own purpose.

John the Baptist made it quite clear that this root system had to be destroyed. Obviously, such a root system did not cause men to grow in their life in God; rather, it entangled them into useless religious activities that would end in death.

Clearly, we must ensure the integrity of our life in God to maintain a healthy root system that is rooted in Jesus Christ. This is the only way we can be assured that we are pruned and not rooted out in utter judgment.

Prayer: Lord, I do want to be rooted in You, pruned by the Father, and established by Your Spirit. I want to produce fruit that will bring You glory. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com

The Valley of Decision

I am beginning to think I just might be at a crossroad in my life....

Am I going to go on fighting for the truth to be exposed.... am I going to push on in the faith and doing what I believe is right in my spirit no matter what I lose in the flesh?

I have recently had a stern warning from the dark side to stop doing what I am doing and either return to the dark fold or suffer the consequences....

While I am not afraid of their threats and warnings it has caused me to pause and take stalk in what I am doing and how I am presenting myself as a believer and follower of the Faith, representing my Father and His Son.

Am I presenting myself in a real, honest way? Am I leading people to Him in what I say and do? Am I doing all I can as a believer to serve, love and forgive others?

I can not say that I honestly do all of these things all the time. I often struggle with the flesh and find myself angry at God.... angry at the one I want to serve with all my heart.

Yeah.... I sometimes get mad at GOD....I often wonder why He has kept me alive at all. I am always fighting my flesh... I am always wanting things I can not have....My children, grandchildren, a home where I can plant a real garden and raise animals, a reason to paint again, etc. I often struggle with wanting more and feeling guilty for wanting it.

I love my hospice work and am grateful for it... I love the people I am allowed to care for. I love my husband and the blessings of the few of my children and grandchildren I am allowed to see and talk to and I love the critters I have been allowed to have. I love the few things I can grow in pots and the chance to even be able to write this blog and try and encourage others.

But I have to be honest.... I struggle with my life. Growing up in abuse and Satanism and seeing death on a regular basis was not my idea of a wonderful life. I am still a human and a woman and I have dreams and hopes like everyone else.
I have always tried to be optimistic but I am a realist as well. I have days when I see the glass half full and many days when I see it half empty.

I guess what I am trying to say here today is... I am human, I am real, and please no one out there ever think that I am perfect and always feel strong, standing on a mountain shouting praises to the Lord. My Father often gets my rants, my questions and my cries. But He gets the real me.... I know He loves me anyway. I know He already knows how I feel and He loves me anyway....all of me...in the flesh. Just like He created me.

So that is all for today...thanks for listening..

Judy

Reading: Joel 3:12-14



THE VALLEY OF DECISION



Pruning brings separation. For example, there is a separation from that which is dead in our lives. It brings clarity as to what our real purpose is. We are not here to please ourselves, but to bear fruit for the good pleasure of the one who owns and oversees us.

We have been considering how pruning and preparation can become points of testing. Sometimes we are to walk in the fields of humanity, other times we are to take the very tools we may use in the harvest and use them as weapons against the enemies of God and His people. Sometimes we are called to fight the battle that rages in our own souls.

In Joel, it is talking about the war that is coming at the final countdown to judgment. There will be no pruning, just the impending reality of war and judgment.

The judgment will be full and complete as the sickle is put into the harvest of humanity. The separation will be obvious, as multitudes must face their own crossroads as to what side they will choose.

The harsh reality is that people already stand at these crossroads. They may not see the impending war, but there is an impending judgment that awaits them. They stand at the crossroads as to what path they will take. Will they take the broad path to destruction or the narrow path to denial, death and resurrection?

As those who are coming to maturity, we must recognize these crossroads. The best way to discern a crossroad is that a struggle between the flesh and the Spirit will ensue. The question will be between having our way or giving way to what is right and acceptable to God.



Prayer: Lord, we stand at a crossroad when it comes to wickedness and righteousness. Lord, give me the resolve to choose the narrow way. Amen.

©2008 Rayola Kelley, Gentle Shepherd Ministries. Permission is granted for
non-commercial (free) distribution provided this notice appears.

www.gentleshepherd.com

Questions or comments welcome. Email: ministry@gentleshepherd.com